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Move over, Oprah, you’re not the only non-gay celebrity anymore.

In the November issue of Details magazine, Lance Armstrong sets the record straight (pun … intended!) about his relationship with Matthew McConaughey.

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While they do, in fact, have adorable manly nicknames for one another – “LiveStrong” and “J.K. Livin” – the two are merely good buddies. Not that the pair didn’t think about more, Lance joked:

“We tried it. Wasn’t for us.”

The two Austin natives have been friends for years, but really started to bond, says Armstrong, when their respective relationships with Sheryl Crow and Penelope Cruz dissolved.

Now single, each deals with tabloid attention differently.

“He’s all tin cans and yam,” says Lance of the famously granola McConaughy. “I get s**t on my Blackberry … My cell phone. Most of it is bulls**t.”

Perhaps Armstrong should hire Rumer Wills as a personal assistant to deal with such nonsense.

Just a thought.

Elsewhere, Armstrong expresses shock that President Bush wouldn’t fork over $1 billion for his charity – given that bird flu, he says, received $7 billion. And he sets the record straight about Jake Gyllenhaal portraying his life story: He’s not.