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But, fortunately, not The Hollywood Gossip.

In fact, the British actor – whose screen hits include Shrek and My Best Friend’s Wedding – is helping gossip rags everywhere. He says he’s sick of the movie industry’s hypocrisy and homophobia, opening up in his candid new autobiography, “Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins.”

“Hollywood is a mirage,” said Everett, 47. Movie stars are “blobs who don’t say anything, aren’t allowed to say anything. They are paid to shut up.”
Or paid not to eat, right, Mary-Kate Olsen?

The book, for which Evertt reportedly received a seven-figure advance, is a string of glittering anecdotes fully of humorous bitterness and serious critiques.

The actor talks about Madonna – “she oozed sex appeal” – to Julia Roberts, who is “beautiful and tinged with madness.”

He also called Sharon Stone “utterly unhinged.” Not sure if we needed a tell-all memoir for that nugget, though.

Everett skates quickly over his brief stint as a London rent boy, although he cheerfully admits that he stalked the actor Ian McKellen.

The openly gay actor also discloses his handful of heterosexual affairs with Paula Yates (wife of Bob Geldof) French actress Beatrice Dalle and Susan Sarandon.

“I think what people will be really surprised about is the writing,” said Antonia Hodgson, Everett’s editor at British publisher Little, Brown. “It’s not just another celebrity book.

“He’s not so much interested in spilling the beans about a particular celebrity, but about showing what celebrity does to those people.”

In the case of Lindsay Lohan, of course, it makes you a terrible human being.