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Kid Rock. Paris Hilton. Tommy Lee. Colin Farrell. Screech Powers.

If you think these five celebrities have nothing in common… well, that was true until we learned about an alleged Dustin Diamond sex tape.

Let that sink in for just a moment.

Yes, believe it or not, there is another Dustin Diamond story generating buzz in the tabloids.

This, the third time in the past several months that we’ve been forced to talk to you about the guy, is by far the best. Although his battles against foreclosure and muggers weren’t unfunny by any means.

Rumor has it that Dustin isn’t just a threesome-loving stud — he gets down and dirty with his hoe-train. The operative word being dirty. Read on.

Diamond, who recently proclaimed to the world that he was completely broke, apparently isn’t letting that stop him from getting his freak on. A tape has allegedly surfaced in which the former Saved By the Bell star cavorts with two unidentified women.

Even more shocking is an act that Diamond engages in with the women which involves bodily excretions and a disturbing act known to those in college frat houses as the “Dirty Sanchez.”

TMZ broke the story and called DD’s reps, who (stunningly) did not return calls.

Rush & Molloy report this morning that the tape is in the hands of Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered deals for other celebrity sex tapes, and that Schmidt is shopping the digital video tape around to Hustler and Vivid Video, among other outlets.

It might not exactly be Oscar-caliber material, but Diamond’s manager, Roger Paul, seems to be at least a little happy about the development for his client, a stand-up comedian.

“Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings,” says Paul, who says he hasn’t seen the tape.

The video reportedly features Zach Morris and A.C. Slater as the pizza delivery guy and cable repair man, respectively, who just happen to stop by Screech’s house to discover him waxing these broads. Disturbing, we know. But admit it, you laughed.