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Six years ago, Martha Stewart said she was leaving Westport, CT. She seems to actually mean it this time, but there’s one problem: no one wants to buy her mammoth, well kept abode.

A quick word of advice to Stewart: don’t bother asking the parents of Michael Jackson. They can barely afford their own house.

Martha Stewart Snoop Dogg Pic
(Getty Images)

The ex-con has been trying for more than two months to sell her early 19th century, federal-style farmhouse for $9 million. Real estate experts say it’s not unusual for luxury homes to take at least a few months to sell – even those with Martha’s famous touch.

“It’s the most beautiful property I’ve ever seen,” said Eileen Hill, president of the Mid Fairfield County Association of Realtors. “Every blade of grass stands at attention.”

Sounds like the grass is as well-trained as Katie Holmes is.

The town, which is also home to actor Paul Newman and singer Michael Bolton, is taking Stewart’s departure well. Very, very well.

“There was certainly no real sense of loss,” said Cristin Marandino, editor of Westport Magazine. “I think 70% of the people who live in Westport have a Martha story. She just wasn’t very easy to live with.”

Stewart occasionally ran into trouble with neighbors upset with her film crews and behavior.

“I am so sad to be leaving this property which has meant so much to me and my family,” Stewart said. “The four acres of garden have been tended with great care for more than 30 years and the circa 1805 farmhouse and outbuildings have been the location of wonderful family celebrations, legendary television specials and comfortable gatherings of friends.”

Legendary, for sure. Sort of like how Hell’s Kitchen is legendary.