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Someone is gonna feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan dammit! She doesn’t care what she has to do to draw it out of people.

You don’t care that she almost witnessed a paparazzi accident? Almost, people! What about the fact that she was downright exhausted?

Ok, try this one, readers: Lohan has revealed that Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis went through a phase of prank calling her around the time they appeared on a video insulting her.

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That’s like, a few minutes of wasted cell phone minutes at a time!

Lindsay told Elle magazine: “I started getting prank calls from them on my voicemail. They’d be screaming and saying stuff that was said in the video.”

But don’t worry, Lohan spent hours thinking of a witty comeback. In regard to the Paris/Brandon conversation that was filmed, the Mean Girls actress proved she could star in a sequel, REALLY Mean Girls:

“Obviously, [Paris is] very comfortable making videos.”

Oh. No. She. Didn’t. If Lindsay uses such wrath on Al-Qaeda, consider the war on terror over.

The last time these two man soup repositories met was at Butter nightclub in New York. Oddly enough, that was the same thing each had had for dinner the night before.

Paris accused Lindsay of trying to “steal” Paris’ on-and-off-again boyfriend Stavros Niarchos:

“She went off on this Stavros thing, grabbing my arm, saying, ‘I can’t believe you f**king called Stavros.'”

Here’s what The Gossip calls: President Bush needs to start a war on spoiled skanks. At least this one would be justified.