Lohan Witnesses Paparazzi Mishap, Sends Self-Pitying Email

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Her mother is a fraud. She's a drunken, irresponsible mess. But it took a recent paparazzi problem to truly shake Lindsay Lohan.

The following is an email - word for grammatically incorrect, self-centered word - Lohan sent in reference to this life-altering event:

Nice Footwear

Almost witnessed 3kids being hit by paparazzi ... Never in my life had an expirience as I just did with the paparazzi. I am not kidding I am shaking, cannot breathe a bit, scared, anxious and sad.

If someone doesn't feel bad, than I will feel bad for myself. It is disgusting what these g-d damn people are doing to me. As well as the people in my life that I work with/for. Its vulgar and I'm saddened for myself.

And, ANY of those willing to fall into judging me in any way in the future, or past. Can watch the video tapes that these men/women take of me while they are being invasive towards my DAY off.... Which I never have anymore. (Send that to Morgan Creek)

G-d Bless.

Phew. It's a good thing she ALMOST witnessed this catastrophe. What would have happened to her virgin (HAHA!!!!) eyes if she had actually viewed this horror?

Meanwhile, estimations are rolling in about what the signatre, "xxl," stands for. Some possibilities:

  • Extra, extra lazy
  • Extremely, extraordinarily licentious
  • Expectant X-Laxer

What are your ideas for Lohan's self-given moniker?

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Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo
Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan