Nadya Suleman

Nadya "Octomom" Suleman shared some thoughts on her octuplets, who just turned three, on UStream this weekend. She likened raising them to fecal matter.

To be fair, she did not say they're crap overall, and believes the blessings far outweigh the negatives. Still, you may want to reconsider your word choice, Nads.

In a 30-minute nonsensical rant, Octomom lashes out for 21 minutes against her haters, whom she calls "obsessors" that "hide behind their computer screen."

She then gets into the "joy" of child-rearing ...

Octomom on UStream

Recalling the conception of her octuplets, Nadya Suleman acts like she had no control in the matter and says she prayed, "Please God, don't let there be eight!"

She says she's not showing them on UStream because "I want to protect them and ... I got in trouble a little bit showing the eight in the beginning." Mmm.

About 19 minutes in, she says, "Is this easy? God no, it's not easy at all! I'm not going to be trying to don any façade and say 'Oh yeah, life is a piece of cake.'"

"It's not. It's a piece of poop ... eight pieces of poop, all day long."

Nadya then adds that the "rewards outweigh anything negative" and that "Your opinion of me and my family, it's none of my business, so lets keep it that way."

Perhaps referring to her kids as poop isn't the best way to assure that, Octo, but it looks like she's keeping her weekly UStream show going. Thank goodness.

Octomom Nadya Suleman's octuplets turn three today.

Pray for them. Even if you're not religious ... just pray.

We're legitimately shocked they all survived this long, looking relatively healthy to boot, with her as the mom, but hey, it's a very pleasant surprise. Eight times over.

Nadya Suleman took her octuplets out for some fun to celebrate, hitting up the Seascape Kids Fun venue in Los Angeles. Looks like a good time was had, except perhaps by the random paparazzi guy creeping in the background.

Suleman's octuplets are Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariah, Makai, Josiah, Jeremiah and Jonah.

Her other children are Elijah Makai, Amerah Yasmeen, Joshua Jacob, Aiden, Calyssa Airelle and Caleb Kai. Yes, that makes 14 kids and no jobs in all.

Again, pray for them.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Nadya "Octomom" Suleman dragged her octuplets (and their SIX OLDER SIBLINGS) to the beach for a day of fun in the sun yesterday outside of Los Angeles, Calif.

The 14 youngsters enjoyed the sea and sands and had a picnic with mom, totally for free, with no photographers paying for Nadya Suleman pictures like this.

Fourteen. IF Angelina Jolie is pregnant, she will have HALF that.

Here is Nads is with Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariah, Makai, Josiah, Jeremiah and Jonah. Her other kids are Elijah, Amerah, Joshua, Aiden, Calyssa and Caleb.

Those poor kids.

SCARRED FOR LIFE: That applies to these kids. And THG after seeing her pregnant.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

If you've been wondering why Octomom Nadya Suleman's Facebook, Twitter, and Ustream accounts have all been suddenly deleted ... you need to get out more.

Seriously, why are you following her.

In any case, it's because the mother of 14 has been dropped by her management team. The reason being: Nads is a flake who is notoriously unreliable. Shocker.

Nadya Suleman "would find any reason" to cancel last minute, often claiming she couldn't find a babysitter, according to sources close to the famous mom.

This after her management team would book her some actual paying gigs - which can't be an easy feat considering they're repping a Z-list celebrity here.

The interesting thing is that Octomom was actually raking in some real cash with appearances and different celebrity events for the better part of last year.

In some of the craziest celebrity news we've reported in hours, Nadya Suleman is actually going to be paid to dole out parenting advice - and paid a lot, to boot.

Octo just locked down a six-figure deal to star in her own show on Ustream.

Nadya will stream this live from her home Sundays. So what's it about?

On the Usteam show, the mother of 14 will be talking about subjects like "Parenting, fitness, diet, nutrition, shopping on a budget and all those crazy rumors."

Can you even handle the anticipation? It's hard, we know.

The show will launch later this month. No word on who's going to watch the kids while mom's "working" or whether six figures even covers a year's worth of day care for 14 freaking kids. Seriously. Day care is expensive these days.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Nadya Suleman recently reached out to Dr. Drew because she felt she was at the end of her rope financially and mentally. Simply put, Octomom is an Octomess.

She has no money to feed her 14 kids. She is overwhelmed, in debt and battling to make ends meet. No one is exactly bending over backwards to help out.

Enter Dr. Drew, the first man on every struggling American's speed dial.

"I'm in a situation now where we are legally broke. Living check to check. Every single thing I do is just me surviving and trying to provide for my family," she said.

The jobless baby factory went on to lament that: "Right now I'm having a bit of issues with the faucet, so I'm kind of bathing them now in the kitchen sink."

THG NOTE: That's sad for the kids, yes, but who gets artificially inseminated with eight more kids when they're already raising six they can't afford? Absurd.

To help Nads and her children, Dr. Drew offered her schooling to get certified in personal training, a years worth of cleaning services and a year of child care.

Dr. Drew told her after their sit-down, "I've seen how you suffer, that's why we wanted to do this. We want to make this survivable. Your kids survival."

The taxpayers of La Habra, Calif., may want to send Double D a nice fruit basket.

Octomom Nadya Suleman is pregnant again ... only this time, taxpayers won't be stuck supporting the spawn for 18 years. In fact, they may get some relief.

Okay, that's wishful thinking, given her 14 actual children. But Nads actually got a job (seriously) acting in a horror movie in which a demon knocks her up.

We're not sure if that's awesome, disturbing, pathetic or all three.

She needs money, no question about that, but seems reluctant to get into porn despite Vivid's numerous overtures. She is simply not a sexual being in any way.

Finally, a somewhat classier role has come along.

Nadya Suleman is starring in a horror movie titled Millennium. The premise: Octomom plays a woman who is, in some shape or form, impregnated by a demon.

Impregnated by a female demon, no less. That sounds ... like something we would never lay eyes on for fun, but may have to check out just to share with you.

That's how THG rolls. We're sorry/you're welcome.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Nadya Suleman is looking for a new place to live.

Hard-working citizens who live next to mid-range Orange County, Calif., homes with For Sale signs out front are collectively shivering as we write this.

Octomom has apparently HAD IT with vindictive neighbors, endless California mortgage woes and so on, so she's looking for a fresh start, and soon.

Hopefully her new crib has a pole. It just fits.

As usual, Suleman hasn't paid her mortgage in three months because she doesn't want to live there anymore. Foreclosure is scheduled for next week.

She simply can't justify the $3,500-a-month mortgage payments, given that the place just sucks and has fallen into a state of disrepair (apparently).

Also, she has no source of income (never helpful). With 14 kids in private school and 0 jobs, the math just doesn't work out for her these days.

Nadya Suleman is no stranger to financial hardship. Heck, it's so well known that Vivid has a boilerplate sex tape offer on file and ready to send out.

We didn't even consider education, though.

Private school, no less! ALL 14 of her offspring are, according to reports, enrolled in an expensive private school. The octuplets? Not even three years old.

"She was bragging about having all of her kids in private school, even though the eight youngest are only two-and-a-half years old!" a source said.

"She can't even pay the mortgage, but she doesn't seem to care."

Tuition at the Los Angeles County school where Nadya's children attend is a minimum of $6,000 per year, per child, for the eight pre-schoolers.

How can she justify that kind of expense? Nadya thinks that by shoving her kids in school, it will free her up and give her time to make money.

How, besides selling revolting childbirth scar pics?

Mother of 14 and non-sexual being Nadya Suleman threw down in a celebrity boxing match in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., over the weekend, winning the tournament.

Afterward, she showed off her battle scars. Scars from childbirth, that is, not from the boxing itself. Whether or not Octomom was drugged when those eight embryos were implanted inside her, the kids packed a wallop on the way out.

You're welcome.

[Photos: Pacific Coast News]