You think a Maria Sharapova crotch shot is hot?
Searching the Internet for the latest Britney Spears upskirt picture?
What about Katie Price and her typical, spread eagle pose every time she exits a vehicle?
Sorry, but Tara Reid puts them all to shame.
If you wanna see what out-of-control, crotch-in-your-face, not-a-care-or-thought-in-the-world wasted looks like... you've found it:
Tara Reid may have some seriously plastic, misshapen giant boobs - but it's hard to deny that these snack treys make for solid cleavage.
We might have to rank them near the top of all celebrities, but another gorgeous actress and her lovely chest appear to have a lot to say about that.
Indeed, while men everywhere dream about Megan Fox nude, we'll have to make due with nothing more than a peek at her breasts from time to time. Fortunately, as you can see below, this isn't the worst fate in the world.
A cleavage clash without Kim Kardashian pictures? Yes, for now we're just gonna focus on Megan Fox and Tara Reid.
Whose chest do you like better?
Wanna see Amanda Beard nude? Check out a recent issue of Playboy.
Wanna see Tara Reid nude? Buy her a couple drinks on any Tuesday night.
But if you wanna see these two famous women involved in a celebrity fashion face-off, look no further. The Hollywood Gossip is your hook up!
Beard, an Olympic Gold Medalist who's actually known for positive athletic exploits (unlike Michael Vick) grabbed headlines last month when she posed naked for Hugh Hefner's well-known publication. She's lovely and talented.
Reid, a train wreck of an actress, is known largely for botched plastic surgery and a boob job that makes the work done on Ashlee Simpson look perfect. She's ugly and usually drunk.
So this isn't the most difficult match-up we've ever posted. Unlike the time we pitted Stacy Keibler against Kelly Clarkson in a battle of beauty, it should be obvious who wore the dress above better.
But if you want a real brain teaser, try this question on for size: Who looks better in the buff: Beard nude or Eva Longoria nude?
Give Tara Reid points for honesty.
While Britney Spears boobs pictures are always obscured by changing room curtains, at least Reid comes right out and talks about the plastic surgery she's had done on her large breasts.
Just take a look below. Like Heidi Montag breast enhancement photos, there's no way to deny that Tara has had work done after checking out these before and after pics.
They make Kellie Pickler and her newly bulging chest look mundane by comparison.
So just like Paris Hilton free from prison, Tara Reid is now free from the nuisance of having small boobs. Next, the awful actress just has to free herself from her drunken mess of a life.
You know you've made it in Hollywood when your giant boobs are analyzed and drooled over.
When it comes to Tara Reid, however, the truth is that her phony cleavage is more closely laughed at and disgusted over. Seen here, it's falling out of the actress' bikini. Yikes.
While we're breast-fallen over Reid's waste of two perfectly good boobs, we're amazed at the progress made by those of Paris Hilton. Didn't they used to be a lot smaller? Rewind that Hilton sex tape and take a close look to see if you agree that Paris may also have had some work done.
Or, you could just ask Randy Spelling. This son of Hollywood claims he was one of the first to ever cop a feel of Paris. Suffice it to say, he wasn't the last.
As readers of The Hollywood Gossip ponder which awful person actress has the more inflated cleavage, the staff will try to get in touch with Joe Francis. That dude has experienced both Reid's and Hilton's first hand.
Pity him.
And in other shocking news, a Kim Kardashian sex tape may be purchased by numerous men.
But, seriously, folks. We all knew Tara Reid was bad at going down. Joe Francis let us in on that tidbit. It doesn't seem to have stopped the awful actress, though.
Here she is, needing help to get back on her feet at a post-Super Bowl bash in Miami over the weekend.
Sure, it may have been Reid's fake, giant boobs that caused her to topple over - but odds are that alcohol played a vital role in this slip-up.
We're not saying it's time for an intervention or anything. Reid's antics entertain us all. But perhaps Tara Conner should give the actress a call and let her know what such behavior can lead to:
An awkward interview with Matt Lauer.
Just think about that fate, Ms. Reid.
When Joe Francis and Howard Stern get together, you should probably put the women and children to bed before turning up the radio.
During their most recent conversation, however, it was Tara Reid who probably wishes she weren't listening.
Stern asked Francis about the numerous celebrity babes he's bedded and Reid came in last - and not just in the category of worst boob job, for once. She was also accused of "pretty much" just lying there under the sheets. Ouch.
While the Girls Gone Wild creator didn't elaborate much on what Lindsay Lohan was like in the sack - apprently we can ask Brody Jenner now, though - he was clear on who was the best ... at everything.
It pains us to quote Francis on this, but he said: "[Paris Hilton] is the best ... Paris is amazing in bed ... better than anyone."
That's some high praise. Based on lewd pictures, though, we bet Katie Rees would have something to say about that. And it would be hot.
In the annals of celebrity photos, certain people simply go together.
Like Katie Rees and naked, drunken women.
But at least we don't mind those pairings. Here's one that makes our computers turn just looking at it, however: Tara Reid and Perez Hilton.
Granted, those losers deserve one another. But must we see it?
Oh, and Perez: Let Rachel McAdams sport the pink hair. At least she looks good in it.
Humans may technically be at the top of the food chain, but there is no doubt who the superior being is in this photograph. Pity the delightful, swimming mammal unfairly subjected to actress Tara Reid. We can only guess what was going through its mind when the STD-ridden, plastic surgery loving waif waded into its habitat...
Where's your handler when you need him?
How did you spend your Christmas vacation?
Staring online at Katie Rees pictures?
Coming up with new insults for Rosie O'Donnell?
Or wearing see-through outfits, a Santa hat and talking on the phone to seem important? Hmmm ... maybe that was just Tara Reid.
The hostess of an upcoming, lame New Year's Eve party spent the holidays catching up with her seldomly dressed self. We assume this took place after she was denied entrance into Hyde once again.
We also assume no one outside of Carson Daly really cares.
