Cue the violins, because troubled star Lindsay Lohan claims that half of her $75,000 fur coat was stolen at a New York City club Wednesday night.
Yes, half. It's a two-piece fur, natch. And how's this for irony: The club, 1Oak, is the same place she peaced out with someone else's coat in 2008!
That's neither here nor there, although it's worth noting that she is a borderline klepto and small-time crook. Anyway, back to the incident at hand:
LiLo went in there with a $75,000 two-piece coat, she says, only to walk out with only one of the two pieces, at which point she fell to pieces! Sorry.
When the poor thing realized she left the other half inside, she went back to retrieve it but imagine her devastation when it was nowhere to be seen.
This is just as heartbreaking a story as you'll ever read, honestly.
The 27-year-old contacted everyone who was at her table to see if anyone had walked off with the item or knew who did, but she came up empty.
However, the only person she hasn't been able to contact is a member of the Seattle Seahawks who she claims was at her table that night at the club.
Please, celebrity gossip gods, let it be Richard Sherman.
1. Lindsay Lohan: Teeth
This is not exactly Lindsay Lohan at her best. Then again, when was the last time we saw Lindsay Lohan at her best?
2. Lindsay Lohan: Gun Show
Linds did a photo shoot and posed while pointing a gun at her mouth. Nice!
3. Lindsay Lohan: Ankle Monitor Bikini Shot
Lindsay Lohan's ankle monitor makes for a really hot accessory.
4. Lindsay Lohan: Knife Fight
The infamous Lindsay Lohan-Vanessa Minnillo knife pic. What a classic moment. These two clearly wanna make out and maybe stab each other.
5. Lindsay Lohan: Bloody Soaked
Tyler Shields photographed Linds all covered in blood. What is it with this girl and knives?
6. Lindsay Lohan: Strike A Pose?
Lindsay tried to strike a sultry pose but ended up looking unrecognizable.
8. Lindsay Lohan: Court Style
For one of her court appearances, Lindsay's makeup was a bit out of control.
11. Lindsay Lohan Mugshots
Lindsay's 2010 mugshot is a classic. So is the 2011 one, and the 2012 one, and ....
12. Lindsay Lohan: Wardrobe Malfunction
Lindsay had a bit of a wacky wardrobe malfunction moment while shooting Liz & Dick.
14. Lindsay Lohan: Threesome
Lindsay took a sexy shot with two friends. Threesome? We wouldn't put it past her...
15. Lindsay Lohan: Smashed
Oh, how could we forget this infamous photo of Linds passed out in a car?