Cue the violins, because troubled star Lindsay Lohan claims that half of her $75,000 fur coat was stolen at a New York City club Wednesday night.
Yes, half. It's a two-piece fur, natch. And how's this for irony: The club, 1Oak, is the same place she peaced out with someone else's coat in 2008!
That's neither here nor there, although it's worth noting that she is a borderline klepto and small-time crook. Anyway, back to the incident at hand:
LiLo went in there with a $75,000 two-piece coat, she says, only to walk out with only one of the two pieces, at which point she fell to pieces! Sorry.
When the poor thing realized she left the other half inside, she went back to retrieve it but imagine her devastation when it was nowhere to be seen.
This is just as heartbreaking a story as you'll ever read, honestly.
The 27-year-old contacted everyone who was at her table to see if anyone had walked off with the item or knew who did, but she came up empty.
However, the only person she hasn't been able to contact is a member of the Seattle Seahawks who she claims was at her table that night at the club.
Please, celebrity gossip gods, let it be Richard Sherman.