The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Drop Your Top

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The Real Housewives of Miami play drop your top, but just with friends. Can we "Blame It on the Alcohol" or is it just a case of Miami girls gone wild?

We break down all the twerking and stripper poles in THG's +/- recap ...

Topless in Miami

It's Vegas baby and Lisa Hochstein's hosting Joanna Krupa's bachelorette party at The Palms. Plus 20. Get ready for some late nights, sun filled days, and topless fun.

Yup. the girls get topless because isn't that what you do with your friends?

Joanna decided to drop her top in the pool and then went around removing the bikini tops of her friends. Plus 15. Adriana certainly didn't seem to mind.

Alexia put hers back on…and did anyone notice that Lisa's never came off but she was far more drunk than anyone there?

But Lisa's been fighting with Lenny. She's in a strange mood and make no mistake, she's here to get blasted.

Let's rewind and head to the pool in the middle of The Palms.

Lisa seemed miffed that Lea felt out of place.  Minus 10. Well why wouldn't she? She's surrounded by a bunch of drunk 20-somethings having a massive pool party. Like Lea herself said, she felt like the only adult on Spring Break.

And that dance she did with 5 Cent…just weird. Minus 18.

On the way back to the room, Lisa rode Joanna like a little work horse. And that's far from the only riding we'll see tonight.

The ladies prepare to hit the town and can someone tell Lea that those fishnets look ridiculous on her. Minus 20.

Then there's the penis pinata. I'm a little afraid to ask what was stuffed inside. 

And this party has barely begun.

The ladies hit the party bus complete with male strippers. Suddenly two guys in G-strings are twerking all over Lea.  Believe it or not, it gets worse.

Lisa can't resist a good stripper pole but it looks as though Adriana can't pass up the pole either.  Plus 25.

Before you know it Adriana's got her face in Joanna's boobs and she's giving Lisa a lap dance. If Lisa's the one who's blitzed, what's Adriana's excuse?

But Lisa's drunkenness gets all the attention and the digs start flying when Lea says Lisa likes to blow things and then Joanna says that with Lisa's marriage on the rocks so she might need a stripper gig if Lenny leaves her.  Then Alexia jumps in, only to make things worse.

Isn't Lisa the one who threw this party for her good friend?

Minus 40. It's not nice to kick a drunk friend when they're down.

After an argument about who's a whore (honestly if anyone looked inside that bus they'd think it was a mobile brothel) Lisa storms off in a huff.

These housewives aren't the brightest when they're sober, so when they're this drunk their IQ points take quite a tumble.

And hasn't anyone ever told them not to throw the bachelorette party the night before the wedding?

Get ready for the Housewives version of the Hangover tomorrow night.

EPISODE TOTAL: -28! SEASON TOTAL: -568!

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