The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Recap: The Claws Are Out

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Not much can top Tamra's nicknaming Alexis "Jesus Jugs" last week, but with Brooks and Briana stopping by the Real Housewives of Orange County are going to try.

Someone get poor Andy Cohen a helmet. Or vodka.

Let's get to part two of the RHOC Reunion with our THG +/- review.

Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion

Andy addresses Gretchen and Alexis' falling out first. It's clear that Alexis is more upset about this than Gretchen is because her hands are flapping around like she's trying to direct an airplane to landing.

Nose job. Sinus surgery. You didn't have my back. Yes, I did. Whatever. If Alexis attempts to look down her new nose any more she's going to go cross-eyed.

And now Alexis' Fox 5 segment comes up. Gretchen pulls out an email that proves that Fox 5 wanted her first. Alexis says the producer said they'd never offered Gretchen the job. Neither woman can see that a producer might say whatever needed to be said to get the job done. Minus 12.

Tamra ends that bit by asking if Alexis still works at Fox 5. She doesn't.

The first question Andy has? How many square feet in her house. 14,300 square feet. Not including the garages and the loggias. And she needed a bigger house for what reason? Minus 4.

Andy brings up Bowgate. Heather admits that maybe she made it a bigger deal than it was. Plus 12.

Up next? Brooks.

It seems like this is the first time Vicki's seen just how nuts she was at the end of the season, judging by the look on her face. This should be interesting.

Brooks clarifies that he doesn't have four kids with three women. He has four kids with two women.

And then he says that all of his affirmations for Vicki are related to the fact that he's southern and that that's how southern men do things. I've lived in the south my entire life, y'all, and this is not how men down her do things. Minus 5.

Alexis and Vicki

Tamra thinks Brooks studied the show to learn how to get to Vicki. Interesting.

Brooks then says he was "protecting his lady" from Tamra's eye roll. Because eye rolls are the new weapons of mass destruction. Minus 8.

He also says he wouldn't take relationship advice from Tamra because doing that would be like taking financial advice from someone who's bankrupt. Zing!

Alexis chimes in to defend Vicki and Brooks and is met with a "shut up, dingbat" and "You're so not relevant" from Tamra. Double zing!

Gretchen's relationship with Slade is up for discussion next. It's still Slade's pesky debt that keeps them from being engaged. Slade drives her to appointments. He books her gigs. He schedules her training sessions. She's not paying him for any of it. Minus 15.

In true Vicki fashion, she makes this all about her. If Slade's not an opportunist, Brooks isn't either. And apparently, Eddie's a smooth-talking a**hole? Gah. Vicki. I'm done with you. Minus 12.

The conversation ended with Gretchen calling Vicki a hypocrite. Again.

Briana's on the couch now and surprise! She's pregnant! Again, in true Vicki fashion, she cried for half an hour when she found out Briana was pregnant. Minus 3.

Briana and Ryan moved in with Vicki. So now Briana, Ryan, Vicki, AND DONN all live in the same house. Because it's a big house.

Briana's still pretty hesitant about Brooks. As in, she has nothing to do with him. Briana's take is that Brooks just wants to be Vicki-the-Real-Housewife's boyfriend and not the Real Vicki's boyfriend. Tamra agrees. Plus 8.

Brooks outed Briana's pregnancy and her family wedding to local radio. And Vicki keeps defending him. Minus 30.

And then Vicki called her daughter a liar. On television. Minus 10.

Real Housewives of OC Reunion

Briana mentions, again, that Vicki probably had an emotional affair with Brooks long before their relationship became physical. Gretchen calls it "weird" because of accusations that Gretchen cheated on Jeff. Vicki says Donn had an affair for 20 years. And then slams Tamra for dating Eddie while she was married to Simon.

There's a whole lot of cheating going on, y'all.

Briana's the voice of reason and Gretchen's on the verge of tears. Pass out some tissues. Or the booze.

As a recap of the season, Heather says she had fun and hopes she and Alexis left everything in Costa Rica. Alexis says she's going to try to be a better person every day. Gretchen says this was an emotionally tough season. Tamra's had a lot of change in her life, including gaining Gretchen as a friend and losing Vicki. Vicki's confused. Just drink already, people.

Cheers, y'all.

EPISODE TOTAL: -67   SEASON TOTAL: -431

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Micah http://132.252.182.11/OpenFOAM/index.php/Benutzer_Diskussion:RamonaSrr

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I felt compelled to write a comment after watching the Tamra eye roll episode. I've always liked Tamra but in this season she has become a nasty manipulative person. She forged a new relationship with Gretchen (which she shod have done years ago) but to cry to Briana after being a complete b@&#h to Vicki, standing up shouting in her face, and try to make out that you didn't give her evil eyes, and to get annoyed that Brooks stuck up for her is absolutely outrageous!! Tamra, you ate so wrong andits a shame youhave become the person that has been shown on this series.
Vicki, I wish you all the best and hope that things work out for you. Heather and Gretchen, you're both lovely

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I agree with everything you say,

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Tamra is my favourite - the things she comes out with are hilarious. I think Alexis & Jim are weird, Gretchen gets on my last nerve. Like Heather & Terry (loved Tamra's take-off of Heather, 'oh dear, oh my'), and has Vicki totally lost the plot? Something real weird about that Brooks...think he has watched the show to learn about his prey.

Stuck-in-the-moment

tamra is one nasty woman. she is so green with jealousy over alexis.she will end up being mistaken for an evergreen tree.and gretchen why are you crawling around tamra and dumped alexis.alexis had your back all the time. and heather who does she think she is with that gayboy she calls a husband. he`s an old man trying to ridicule alexis. theres never a truer saying than take a long hard look in the mirror before calling others. heather and your squeaky voice man should do that. money does not buy class , or looks.you are both ugly in and out. maybe he should do some more practice with his plastic. then he may become REAL fake the 2 of them. and as for her being 98% real is that real plastic heather you mean.

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hi i am from the uk and never miss a program tamara is a bitch, and gretchen showed her ture colours, she should have backed alexis because alexis has backed all her friends .heather does not know alexis and should not call her she did from the start by listening to tamara the tart

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@ lynne

I agree with everything you say,

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I'm also from UK and love watching but a few things do bemuse me...Vicki, why does she change her voice from her usual brusque and dare I say it screechy tone to a softer more empathy seeking tone when she does her interviews? Never seen such a false woman in my life..and her and that "man" of hers deserve each other. Now , on to Tamra , oh meeeeeooww, what a catty nasty bitch she is, enough said. The rest are watchable.

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I think the show is quite funny and entertaining and should be taken for what it is a TV show. All of the ladies have their faults, strengths and insecurities, as well as some very humorous situations. Yes, some of them are boring, bitchy, outrageous and totally over the top. But this is really mindless entertainment that offers up a good laugh and we all have our favorites and the characters we dislike. I must say I did enjoy this season with the introduction of Heather and Terri.

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I have never witnessed such childish & petty behaviour in my life & yes that includes Slade or should that be Slave! Tamra - who I used to like is a complete witch who doesn't deserve the likeable Eddie. Alexis is dillusion & begs the question, why ever did the show think she would be interesting? Vicky? Well what a BIG hypocrite! Gretchen is beautiful but needs to drop 'Slave'quicker than a bag of wet cement! Lastly 'Slave'.. Well he's too irrelevant to mention! I feel sorry for their children!

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me and my friends used watch this show all the time but we cant stand tamra i think they way she treats people is not right trowing a drink at someone always blaming her ex for everything come on it was a little dog lead its a disgrace too people that have been in real Domestic violence we dont like to watch it that much coz we don't want to see Tamra crap you would get more views if she was not on their and we love Genna she is a lady i think Vicki should try and make it work with her husband its to long to be together to gust trow it away.