The NFL will feature four Divisional Round playoff games this week, three of which we've already determined the results for via a detailed, scientific comparison of players and team traits. To wit:
- The Giants will knock off the Falcons.
- The Broncos will beat the Steelers.
- The Saints and Lions game will end in a tie.
Now, for the matchup that will air actually first tomorrow afternoon, let's rundown the most important aspects of the Cincinnati Bengals and the Houston Texans...
1. TOTAL OFFENSE (YPG)
2. TOTAL DEFENSE (YPG)
3. TEAM RUSHING (YPG)
4. TEAM PASSING (YPG)
5. ROOKIE QUARTERBACK
Bengals: Andy Dalton
Texans: TJ Yates
6. HEAD COACH
Bengals: Marvin Lewis
Texans: Gary Kubiak
7. FANTASY FOOTBALL STUD
Bengals: Cedric Benson
Texans: Arian Foster
8. FEELINGS ON BEING MESSED WITH
Texans: Don't you dare!
9. WILL MOST MISS...
Bengals: The antics of Chad Ochocinco
Texans: Injured star lineman Mario Williams
10. TEAM DEFENSE, PASSING YPG
THE VERDICT: This one shouldn't be close. Houston takes it by a final tally of 7-2-1, our most lopsided victory for any playoff team yet over another. With a strong defense, arguably the best running back in football and a surprisingly efficient rookie quarter, the Texans are on track for their first-ever postseason victory.
WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?