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A-ha! The puzzle has been solved. The National Enquirer has discovered he identity of Khloe Kardashian’s father, and the answer is a killer:

O.J. Simpson!

Following the ridiculous, unproven rumor that Khloe is the product of an affair between Kris Jenner and a mystery man, this tabloid has now published an equally ridiculous and unproven rumor: that the former Buffalo Bills running back and likely murderer was that man.

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Scandalous! Khloe looks JUST like O.J.’s daughter, Sydney!!!

The cover story should actually come as good news to the family. It’s given Kim Kardashian a chance to prove she’s not a robot, as she actually made us laugh with the following Tweet in response to this report:

“It makes sense now. Khloe u are so tan!”