America's Got Talent Review: ZZZZZZ.....

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Man, I'm sleepy.

That wasn't exactly the most exciting installment of America's Got Talent, as most acts in Las Vegas chose poor, boring songs. But a few still made a strong impressions, and all are graded below...

The Rhinestone Ropers

Attack Dance Crew - While Piers was hoping the performance was "fresh and exciting" it ended up being a flop. ADC added stunts causing their choreography to suffer. Howie called them "cheerleaders," and all that was missing from their transitions were the cheer claps. When the camera went overhead, the team wasn't perfectly aligned, the tricks looked sloppy, and the choreography was cliché. My Grade: C+.

Dani Shay - It's interesting seeing how the storyline of Dani went from "Female Justin Bieber" to a "Second Chances" redemption-arc. Dani was pitchy from the beginning, her voice wavering through her rendition of "Babylon" by David Gray. Vibrato is a good thing, but she sounded like she was sacrificing a goat. My Grade: C-.

Geechy Guy - He wasted time with his whoopie cushion introduction, but immediately went in with his one-liners. The jokes about his awkwardness and the poop quips worked well. Subjectively speaking, the lines were okay but he better have more raunch prepared for a non-family show. My Grade: B.

Daniel Joseph Baker - Daniel only owns the Lady GaGa songbook. Granted, the performance was good on the piano, but his transition out of the ballad into the dance performance was awkward. It was colorful, fierce, and dancers were everywhere. Daniel has a passion for performance, but it was disappointing that he didn't hit the high notes as perfectly as he hyped. My Grade: B+.

The Rhinestone Ropers (pictured) - The cowboys added a horse to the live show and it didn't have any of the action of the first audition. The horse wasn't responsive trying to get the hat on the ground. There was a lot of wasted prep time and set-up. Getting on the horse and the lasso tricks weren't great until it was over the horse. My Grade: C.

Dylan Andre - Was that stereotypical guitar player from the sea of singer-songwriters; apparently has passion as his differentiating factor. The performance had nothing dynamic about it compared to Daniel. Anyone who covers John Mayer should fail automatically. The song had no audience involvement and Dylan was depending on his good looks to have people vote for him. My Grade: B-.

Landon Swank - Landon had a lot of broken props that he had to fix last minute. Nick was used as tester for how legit his props were. Nick signed his name on both sides and the real trick happened: he walked through the mirror. There was a lot of setup for Landon and the presentation needed more pizazz. It was a good thing for Landon to show the back of the mirror to further confuse Piers. My Grade: A-.

Smage Brothers Riding Shows - After the Fearless Flores Family failed, the Smage Brothers needed to go big. The initial set of jumps and turns were fine, the wheelies were okay, but the jump to the highest platform was clumsy. The return of the random assistant friend signaled the motorcyclists to almost kill him again. His hat was crushed (apparently intentional) but it's better than losing his head. My Grade: A.

Thomas John - Thomas is uber-dorky, but really adorable. Thomas decided to use a silly cannon (launched by Nick Cannon of course). Thomas was intentionally cheesy, but when he dropped a pin Piers had to buzz him. Thomas added danger to his routine doing the stereotypical balancing-a-plank-and-juggle, but he dropped his pins. My Grade: D+.

Steven Retchless - Steven decided to go the Lady GaGa route with a routine that would have made Lady GaGa smile. Who would have thought that Steven knew a little bit of ballet? It was above and beyond his Vegas performance and the dancers weren't distracting. The theatricality was what the whole episode was missing. It made me miss the over-the-top performances of Prince Poppycock. My Grade: B+.

Mona Lisa - Mona Lisa ended up being the dark horse of the singers this week. Their harmonies weren't perfect, possibly due to the fact that the microphones weren't adjusted correctly so America couldn't hear it well. The two were pitchy together so it sounded good in that sense. The performance lacked a punch and I didn't understand the use of the floating lanterns in the background. My Grade: B.

Silhouettes - There are 42 dancers, but unlike Miami All-Stars, they run in and out so the stage never seems crowded. The group decided to theme their show as "American Pride" which probably would land the largest demographic of voters. It's also nice to know that the group could go beyond a white screen, and theoretically can extend to different colors and images. Some of the dancing between the images of landmarks weren't strong, but anyone that could capitalize on 9/11 wins in my book. They all emerged in patriotic garb which helped seal the deal. My Grade: A (for America).

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Very dull. Piers was right: the cowboy act was a train wreck. And I disliked Silhouettes. They received a standing ovation, and even Piers called them "genius," but I thought the whole flag-waving bit was shameless pandering.

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I thought Silhouettes were off last night and were just hiding behind the patriotic images. In audition, their act told a story through out. Last night was mediocre dancing racing into a leaning monument pose (almost all leaning stage right) more meh dance as filler, race into another leaning monument repeat the cycle. They will go through because everyone else was so bad PLUS you are a bad patriot if you don't vote for them. Personally I only would have voted for Steve Retchless. His act demonstrated grace, strength and athleticism. The timing was spot on and his body lines were gorgeous. I could have done without all the sparkles but I didn't even notice them during the performance, only his body lines.

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Say what you want about Piers but he's what keeps the show alive from my own perspective and if it wasn't for Piers being there last night I probably wouldn't have watched it to the very end.

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Piers Morgan generally tends to be very "direct" (perhaps even rude?) in his comments, but BOY was he in a bad mood last night!! He pretty much insulted everyone, including Nick (the host,) the other judges, and several of the contestants. It was so bad you could see people cringe at the awkwardness. Can't but wonder why he was in such a bad mood? Could it have been because his boss Rupert Murdoch is in so much trouble?? In any case, it was uncalled for, and Morgan owes everyone an apology.

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It was just horrible last nite. Thank God for the final group. It's sad that last week some groups who didn't go thru were a thousand times better than this bunch. It better pick up. Not great talent this year compared to the past years. Also PLEASE, let's see some of the past years' talent winners. Better than these new pop groups that they have performing. The American public wants to see what happened to some of the old performers. Like Prince Poppycock. Fantastic.

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