The Bachelorette Recap: A Real Bell-Ringer

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Ashley Hebert's global quest for love and adventure continued on The Bachelorette last night. One concussion and three eliminations later, she's onto the next leg ... but the long shadow cast by a former contestant remains.

Girl still can't quit Bentley Williams.

We're starting to wonder how staged this is. It's now been two whole episodes since he left. Is she really still hung up on him, or is the show baiting her?

  • Ashley Hebert Boxing
  • Bachelorette Boxing

Never has a group date gotten this violent.

Maybe you just want what you can't have, and the uncertainty of that dot dot dot garbage made it impossible for her to just move on. Who knows.

In any case, we'll find out next week when the slime returns. This week, it was all about the men fighting for Ashley's love. In the literal sense.

The Bachelorette spoilers we've compiled hint at what happens with Bentley (sigh) as well as the final men standing, so read at your own risk.

Right now, let's break down last night's episode, the fifth of the season, THG style. Continue on for our patented +/- Bachelorette recap ...

Ben F., with his attitude and goofy (but not childlike, William) persona are just what Ashley Hebert needs. They act like an actual, normal couple. Plus 12.

The pair share a "mental kiss" in front of a temple, as an actual one would be sacriligious. A little awkward and lame, but again, very real. Plus 5.

Surrounded by candlelight and musicians, Ben F. proceeds to talk about his late father way too much. Minus only 3, because he did have a point.

He's emotionally available now in ways he wasn't before. Aww. We feel the love. This date is almost perfect. Or in Ashley parlance, per-fact. Plus 7.

This has bothered us for years. Minus 10 for the way Ashley (and everyone on this show) says "Ben and I's ..." It's Ben and my. Try it. It works.

Plus 6 for Chiang Mai, Thailand, which looks awesome!

Ditto Ashley's pink top and white skirt. Plus 23.

Group Date Action

"Who wants to get their asses kicked?!"

Minus 10 for taking the group date too far again, show. First a roast of the poor girl, now guys physically throwing down to win her affections? Just brutal.

"Spandex was invented for people like her." - Blake, on Ash. True. Plus 4.

Scrappy J.P. Rosenbaum rallies after a rough start and stuns Mickey for a surprise victory. Jews from Long Island are well represented, indeed. Plus 5.

Despite being ripped, Ames Brown has never been in a fight before, and it shows. This was a concussion waiting to happen. Bad form by ABC. Minus 9.

It says a lot that he never stopped smiling or lost his clam demeanor even after a trip to the ER. Way to roll with it, Amesbot. We love you man. Plus 14.

"Poor Ames" was trending on Twitter last night. Plus 6.

He really deserved the rose, although we'll award only Minus 3 because he did receive one later, and at least Blake got the group date rose, not Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan ... man, that dude's annoying. Minus 5.

Ben C. (a.k.a. Bencey) and William get the dreaded 2-on-1. Bencey had this in the bag, we thought ... until William threw him under the bus! Minus 7.

  • Ben Flajnik Picture
  • Ames Brown Picture

Ben Flajnik and Ames Brown are emerging as top contenders.

We have to assume that wasn't the only reason Ashley dumped him on the spot, but man. Good thing William got his mere minutes later. Plus 8.

Note to guys on a date: Do not describe yourself as "silly" or a "boy" who doesn't want to "grow up." Minus 16. That was worse than roasting her.

What the HECK is Ashley thinking with this pathetic request to bring Bentley back. Even though she doesn't know he's a jerk, he still left once! Minus 28.

Either Chris Harrison is a good actor or really skeptical. He sounds almost disgusted as he asks "You really think this would help you to move on?" Plus 9.

Ash says if Bentley just "didn't feel strongly enough" for her, she'd be "so respectful" of that. Think she feels that way after watching this season? Minus 11.

Man, Ashley is such a loser sometimes. Case in point: Her "golf lesson" from Lucas. We mean this as a compliment. Cutest, most fun loser ever. Plus 4.

Watch out for J.P. Nothing fazes this guy. Plus 3.

The final elimination of the night clearly came down to Mickey or Nick, the two guys we barely see any of ... and with "ick" in their names. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +9. SEASON TOTAL: +136.

ROSE RECIPIENTS: Ryan “Mickey” McLean, Blake Julian, Ben Flajnik, Lucas Daniels, Constantine “Dino” Tzortzis, Ryan Park, Ames Brown and JP Rosenbaum.

OUT: Ben Castoriano, William “Will” Holman and Nick Peterson.

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Come own is this season for real ? Ashley is so lame , she needs to get over her self , this about the most BORING season i've ever watched , and if things does not improve it will be my last . jeanette moody

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I am concerned that William who was let go seems depressed and may need some help or support. Just an observation. He made some comments at the end when he was sent home, that made me wonder if he could be, or become suicidal. Think someone should check it out with him. He spoke of some family issues and losses.Just concerned.

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WOW I am so shocked that she sent Ben C. home without letting him defend himself. I thought she would care about someones feelings way more than that when she has been hurt. I do not understand how she fell this hard for Bently over a few times of seeing him. I am sure she liked him but to go on to this extend about him when she was warned I don't get it. I can't beleive she listened to William when he has made her cry and her Date with Ben C. was a good one. I don't understand why ABC let these men box and I don't know why ABC doesn't show Ashley the film of Bently and let her move on. I can't believe that he gets a free trip back to this pretty place and gets more airtime. He shouldn't get to be on T.V. at all thru this next part and then I wonder if he would of came.

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Would also love to see a senior version of the show. I may be a senior but look 20 years younger (no surgery) in fact my ex husband was 33 years younger tnan me.

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I'm so glad you mentioned Ashley's irritating way of the speaking the word "perfect." If I didn't know better, I would think she's from "The Valley" and it's the mid 80's...like omigod! And the whole Bentley thing- surely it's just for ratings and she can't be so into this d-bag after knowing him a minute and a half AND after she was warned that he was a jerk??? I thought it ironic that when William, who I know she hasn't liked, nor trusted since the infamous roast, tells her that Ben C is not into her, she barely let's him finish speaking before she gives Ben C the boot! She never even let him defend himself! But Despite the warning she got from her friend before she even met any of these guys, she can't stop thinking about Bentley and still sees him at the end...he left!!! For a smart girl, she sure is a bonehead.

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My jaw dropped when I was watching Ashley forcing these guys to train and workout for her for 3 hours and then have a FIGHTING match to boost her piddly ego. The guys got hurt and Ames went to the ER, for what? For a dish rag that is obsessed with Bentley and is annoying to watch? Her personality from beginning to end is pathetic. Her head is like a dilapidated troll. How dare she, especially since she is fatally attracted to Bentley. I never liked Ashely, it is clear why Brad did not pick her, but she really pissed me off last night. I am suppose to envy the Bachelorette not dread her, this isn't The Bad Girls Club. Those guys are fabulous and she is ruining the show. She must know that deep down, that is why she is panicky and has a pit in her stomach, because she knows she sucks chicken balls.

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Y don't they just SHOW her the clips of Bentley spewing his venom about her so she would WAKE UP and move fwd with MEN that actually want her!?. . . I guess that would be to easy huh ABC? Bentley is an arrogant POS. It turns my stomach every time she says she cant get over him! I mean come on! Did she fall THAT hard THAT fast? So hard in fact that she is blind to how insincere he really is? Shes oblivious to what hes up to. IF she lets him back in she will just get hurt again and probably ruin her chance for a real relationship with a real man! And if I had my choice for her, that real man would be J.P.!

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She is sooooooooo stupid! One date and she can't forget him? What a joke

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she deserves all the heartache she's in store for with bentley. when someone leaves, they don't want to be there. he didn't ask to come back so why does she still think there's a chance. he's never gonna be a man and tell her he doesn't want her and if all the other guys walk off the show when they find out bentley is back, she deserves that too. these guys seem to want to be there unlike bentley who left. let it go ashley. he was not into you. just ask chris.....

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I wish that the show would run an episode for seniors. They would attract a new market of viewers and the younger sec would love it too. I would try out and hopefully get picked and find true love again.