Jersey Shore Recap: Sammi is the New Angelina

by at . Comments

Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

Angelina made a better Angelina than Sam, we're thinking. Minus 4.

Snooki can fit into a suitcase. This is definitely useful to know and not all that surprising. Can we check that bag on a one-way flight to Bangkok? Plus 6.

Little Baggage

Hope the airlines don't accidentally lose this baggage ...

Vinny raps the t-shirt time theme song. Sorry, but it's no Pauly D. Minus 3.

At the club some girl started following Vinny around. Complete stalker style. Just creepy stuff, but Plus 2 for his line about her being the parasite. Spot on.

JWoww, wasted, calls boyfriend Tom to learn she forgot it was their anniversary. No wonder dude is threatening to leak those JWoww nude pics now. Minus 10.

The scene where JWoww finds Snooki hiding in the bush must have been like what explorers felt braving the jungles of Africa in the mid-20th Century. Plus 7.

Naturally, The Situation tries to move in on Vinny's girl. Again. Minus 9.

The Outcast

Sammi is the new outcast, and mostly by choice.

No matter what nonsense Sitch pulls from time to time, he has always been about the "family," and remains surprisingly well-liked because of it. Plus 8.

Sammi, being the diva that she is, basically said she could care less that she missed out on family dinner, which doesn't sit well with the gang. Minus 6.

Deena on herself and BFF Snooki: "We're the exact same size, same body shape kind of, we're such a blast!" In a glass, you could even say. Plus 4.

Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro have one of their epic arguments, rehashing everything in Miami. Man, could these two suck any more? Minus 13.

In conclusion, a full episode just about Snooki and Deena trying to get the kickball back - with an assist from Vinny - would be worth watching. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +5. SEASON TOTAL: +35.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,