Tila Tequila Announces Retirement

by at . Comments

She had a great run while she lasted, didn't she?

But we're sad to report that Tila Tequila has called it a career.

The professional attention hog announced her retirement today, hanging up her fake breasts in an interview with Radar Online:

“With so much going on in my life right now and being pregnant, I’m retiring from being a star in Hollywood,” she said.  “Yes, I have seriously retired.”

The Tweeting maniac goes out on top of her sport.

She holds the record for Most Games Played with the Press and it's hard to see any topless model ever exploiting the death of a loved one in the way Tila has taken advantage of Casey Johnson's passing.

What will Tequila do with her newfound free time? Concoct more stories via Twitter, update her celebrity gossip blog and continue to lie about being pregnant.

“I never said I had a miscarriage,” Tila said, referring to her most recently contrived tale of woe.  “I wasn’t feeling good and having stomach pains, but I didn’t have a miscarriage.”

That's true. In order to be have a miscarriage, one must be pregnant - and there's proof below that Tila was never knocked up.

Earlier this week, someone pretending to be a photographer emailed Tila and said she had to cancel a planned photo session because Tequila was pregnant and her baby bump would interfere with the shots.

Tequila wrote back:

PROOF

Did we need written prood to know that Tila Tequila wasn't pregnant? Of course not. But it's nice to have, isn't it?

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damn that sucks tila tequila is to hot to call it quits

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@Trythinking1956 - Thank you! This is what I've been trying to tell people. Calling her crazy, psychotic, etc. is insulting to those of us who are mentally ill.

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Illuminati, you also should learn your music. Tequila Sunrise is a song by the Eagles. Maybe you're not old enough to remember them.

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She's not crazy, delusional, psychotic or anything else. She's an illiterate, idiotic tramp who will go on doing this as long as you all write about it. So, to the person who called her "irrelevant"...you are wrong. She MUST be relevant if people want to hear about her.

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The instrument has yet to be invented that can measure my profound grief!

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And now forsomeother truly fascinating news: I just took an enormous dump

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You need to learn the truth about the benefits of psychotropic drugs Dancing with the Illuminati.

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Or rather, "The Bolshevism techniques that the Illuminati used to rob and kill all White Russian middle class people in order to rob them and make a quick buck are being used in the USA now."

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Oh no...how will we go on?

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Jessica
Tila doesn't have family or friends to help her, because sadly they don't want anything to do with and her life, due to all the lies she told in her hometown that have hurt her family and friends. That's what's really sad about her and her life.