Unreliable Tabloid Report: Brangelina Separates!

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First, Brad Pitt was merely sleeping on the couch.

Now, as reported in bold, yellow, capital letters on the cover below, HE ADMITS A SPLIT IS INEVITABLE!

Does Pitt ever say this? No. Is there any source on record that describes Angelina Jolie as "demanding," as she's labeled by the following supermarket tabloid? Of course not.

Is Jennifer Aniston - who still believes in love, people! - hoping the report of Brangelina's demise is accurate so she can win back her man? Probably.

Is a story about Jaycee Dugard, who was kidnapped for 18 years, less important than an imaginary tale about Pitt and Jolie's relationship? Yes, according to In Touch Weekly...

Meanwhile, in even less true tabloid news, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are apparently engaged. We hope they enjoy it.

No doubt we'll read a magazine cover next week that screams: Robsten Breaks Up, Kristen Stewart Demands Restraining Order.

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