Jessica Simpson is desperately trying to get back in John Mayer's pants, if you believe the new cover of In Touch. Which you shouldn't, but hey, they printed it.
According to the poor man's OK! Magazine, Jessica wants to reunite with the douchebag after Tony Romo shattered her life by dumping her a few months ago.
She had "her whole future planned out" with Tony and wanted him to marry her. But then on the night before her birthday in July, everything fell apart. Sniff.
Now he's with Candice Crawford, sister of Gossip Girl star Chace, and even brings her to some of the same restaurants in Dallas he and Jessica used to hit.
“She can’t believe it,” an insider tells the mag. “Even if she doesn’t want Tony back, no one wants to see their ex moving on with a hotter, younger girl.”
DESPERATE HOOKUP: John Mayer definitely qualifies as such.
The fact that Nick Lachey got back together with Vanessa Minnillo hasn't helped Jessica's mindset either. She's becoming Jennifer Aniston-style pathetic.
While Jessica’s "career is going great" - apparently In Touch is stuck in 2003 here - her personal life "is kind of a disaster." At least they got that right.
“This couldn’t have come at a worse time for Jessica,” the friend of hers adds. “It’s opened up a lot of old wounds. She’s pretty insecure about herself."
That insecurity that has led Jessica "down a dangerous path of desperation and loneliness," as she's been secretly hooking up with her ex John Mayer.
We'll set the over-under on how long it takes the douchebag to deny this on Twitter at two hours, since he Googles himself so often. This morning, he denied a similar rumor about himself - that Kristin Cavallari was playing his meat bugle.