Jon Gosselin has already gotten his own place and begun romancing a pair of mediocre new girls. Now it's Kate Gosselin's turn to secure a new love nest.

Kate is officially moving to Rockville, Maryland. Woo hoo! If she had any friends, they should totally sign her up to be the next star of The Bachelorette.

The affluent suburb of Washington, D.C. happens to be where bodyguard Steve Neild has his office. Just a block away from Kate's new place, it turns out.

All the better to "protect" her. If you know what we mean. We mean they were said to be having an affair. Though we also heard Jon made that up.

Jon and Kate are splitting up - and splitting parenting duties. [Photo: Fame]

When one stays at the expansive Wernersville, Pa., house where their eight scarred-for-life kids remain, the other takes off to their individual apartments.

They'll barely have to see each other. How pumped is Jon?!

Jon has a condo in New York, where he pays $5,000 per month and has been living the bachelor life, hitting it with both Hailey Glassman and Kate Major.

In the past week alone, he's said that his heart is with Hailey Glassman, that he is in a relationship with Kate Major, and that he's single. What a player.

Who sucks more?