Celebrity gossip tabloids around the nation didn't need Emeril Lagasse to cook them up a perfect meal this week.
Various publications took one part reality TV couple, mixed it with multiple rumors of an affair by both sides, added a sprinkle of a sex tape and came up with fodder for days on end.
Indeed, one of the most buzzed-about stories in Hollywood these days centers around Jon and Kate Gosselin, heretofore innocent, admired, seemingly innocuous parents of eight adorable children.
But in the latest issue of People, Kate comes clean about the new light in which she sees her husband.
"I don't know that we're in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing," she said. "I've been struggling with the question of 'Who is this person?' for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name. It's one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there's blaring, red flashing lights."
Wow. Harsh words, ones probably not best to share with a national magazine if you're actually concerned about your marriage.
Coming soon: Jon & Kate Plus One Divorce?
Meanwhile, Us Weekly is turning the marital tables on Kate. Its latest edition highlights her rumored affair with bodyguard Steve Neild.
Neild - who once worked for Bill Clinton, so knows something about infidelity! - and Gosseln are "very physical, often touching each other," said an employee at a recent promotional appearance for Jon & Kate Plus 8, adding:
"She was gently poking him, giving him little love pats, totally unlike the slapping she does with Jon. She and Steve were joking around so much, I actually wondered if they were having an affair. There's a lot of open affection between them."
The witness also said Kate showed no love at all for Jon at the same event.
So what's on the horizon for the couple of nearly a decade?
"Jon says it's over," said a family source. "Kate doesn't want to work on it, he doesn't want to work on it."
That's sad, but at least the custody battle should be a breeze. Eight is easily divided by two.