While many 90 Day Fiance viewers have been appalled by the sexist backlash against Emily Bieberly, but she and Kobe Blaise are still finding their way.
That means that, as they try to adapt to being together again as parents after two years apart, they’ll have their ups and downs.
In this clip, Emily is overly eager to help Kobe with what he’s doing, and the two clash.
When Kobe tells Emily to "shut the f–k up," things have clearly taken an ugly turn.
Without context, it’s hard to say why Kobe Blaise is doing some shoveling in this horse stable.
But as this sneak peek for Season 9, Episode 8 of 90 Day Fiance begins, that’s what he’s doing.
He and Emily Bieberly are all bundled up, while Emily’s mom keeps a respectful distance so that she doesn’t get in the middle of the couple.
Emily is seemingly eager for the two to be able to spend time together.
But, in her eagerness, she is offering too much "advice" that sounds like instructions.
Unlike basic safety stuff with Koban, this is hardly life-or-death, so Kobe is bristling under Emily’s suggestions.
“Let me do it my own way, alright?” Kobe tells Emily after a little too much micromanagement.
"Are you serious?" he asks. "It’s like you want us to fight about almost everything."
Emily is clearly hurt by this, snapping back with "Stop talking and just do it."
What started as a simple communication issue devolves,w ith Kobe telling the camera that it feels like Emily wants to "control everything."
To him, it feels like she is hounding him. To her, it feels like he’s ignoring helpful advice.
"I wish you would just listen to me," she expresses during the clip.
Kobe explains that he gets the impression that Emily is deliberately putting on a show of bossing him around.
He feels that she is "just trying to make her family know that she is in control of me."
Kobe continues: "But I’m losing my patience."
From her perspective, he’s just ignoring her advice, which she finds confusing and hurtful.
So Emily tells him that she’s not going to "help" him with this anymore.
She thinks that he’s being rude (to be clear, they are both being rude because neither of them are communicating well).
Kobe wasn’t kidding when he said that he was losing his patience.
"Can you just shut the f–k up?" he asks Emily.
Emily is stunned. Her mother, who is close enough nearby to hear, is also shocked. That’s just not something that someone in a healthy relationship says to another.
"I cannot believe you just said that to me," Emily replies.
Kobe continues, saying that he straight-up does not need her around while he is working.
Emily is upset, storming off. Kobe says "F–k off" while she departs. That is … not good.
Some people work extremely well with specific instructions. Other people resent being told how to do things. Often, there’s a mix of both.
What happened here was two conflicting communication styles resulting in both of them finding the other rude and hurtful.
Unfortunately, instead of talking things out, the two just allowed their anger to build until Kobe lashed out. This was entirely preventable.