The day we have long anticipated, when Brandi Glanville spilled all about Denise Richards on RHOBH, finally arrived this week.
Brandi has a lot to say about their alleged affair. She also revealed what Denise had been saying behind everyone's backs.
Before the revelations started coming, we got to see Brandi tell Denise and Aaron that she wanted to be a "throuple" with them.
While that was more than a little ballsy, she was really just praising their marriage and relationship ... while also setting the stage for future talk.
In the mean time, Denise had to learn what a throuple is from a producer, which is deeply funny. It's just a "couple" except that it's three people.
Fast forwarding through the awkward stage fall, Brandi didn't start things off by announcing that she and Denise had boned to tribbed or whatever.
They sat down at Kyle's mansion (something about that house always looks like a video game level to me), where Denise got serious.
She warned Kyle, Kim, and Teddi that Denise Richards is "not who she pretends to be."
Kim makes it clear right away that she knows what Brandi is talking about, but promises that she's not going to tell Brandi's story, so she keeps it vague.
"I don't wanna go, like, totally into it," Brandi says apologetically, "but what you see is not what you get."
This isn't chat about the affair -- not yet. This is talk about Denise being two-faced.
Turning to Teddi, Brandi warns "she doesn't like you, at all."
Brandi emphasizes: "At all. She has said horrible things about you."
Even Kyle is visibly stunned at this. Kyle and Teddi are, of course, famously close.
"You're obnoxious," Brandi says, referring to what Denise has allegedly said about Teddi.
"You'll do anything to be in this group," she continues, "because you've lived under your dad's shadow your whole life."
Not wanting to continue insulting Teddi, even in another woman's words, Brandi says: "It was just like ... just mean."
Teddi is furious, not simply because Denise dislikes and has been badmouthing her, but because it cuts deeper than that.
"I gave her the opportunity to come clean on however she's feeling," Teddi tells the confessional camera.
We then see a flashback in which Denise very shadily drinks while speaking to Teddi.
Just five days earlier, Teddi had asked Denise to tell her if something about her is bothering her.
"I already told you," Denise replied at the time, taking an extended sip from her drink.
"Say it to my face," Teddi says to the confessional camera. "Because I know, the way I've been feeling, I've said to your face."
Obviously, Kyle is bothered by the badmouthing.
Part of that is simply that, well, no one likes being spoken of behind their backs.
The other part of that is that Kyle has a very relatable desire to be beloved by everyone, so she hates to hear that she is failing at that.
Brandi says that Denise hasn't limited her gripes to one or two Housewives.
"Apparently, she doesn't like anyone," Brandi reports.
"She doesn't like Rinna either," she claims. "She's like, Erika's a cold-hearted bitch."
At the same time, Brandi says, Denise complains that the Housewives are not as warm to her as they could be.
Why, the Housewives naturally wonder, would Denise feel so carefree to vent her frustrations to Brandi like this?
"She feels like she can tell me things," Brandi explains, "because she has something on me."
Kim once again drops a hint that she knows where this conversation is going.
Brandi has everyone's attention but is visibly nervous, asking for water.
Kyle freaks out about having been so enthralled that she hasn't offered them anything to drink, so she orders some water and wine to be brought up.
We then see Kyle speak on this to the confessional camera, in a moment very clearly recorded by herself after the COVID-19 pandemic shutdown.
"I've never seen Brandi so nervous," Kyle reflects.
"Normally if she's upset," she characterizes, "it just comes spilling out of her mouth."
"I'm saying ... what she did to you, is wrong," Kim tells Brandi.
Obviously, this has the other Housewives even more intrigued.
It's no surprise that Brandi has already told Kim, but it also helps to build up "hype" in the room for what Brandi is about to reveal.
When they first met, Brandi recalls, she and Denise "hit it off right away."
But she shares that "some s--t went down ... that was really f--ked up" between April 2019 and mid-November at Kyle's party.
"The whole cheating thing with me, it's so personal and I was so broken for so long," Brandi recalls of her ex-husband's infamous affair.
Speaking to the confessional camera, Brandi emphasizes that she would "never ever, ever do that to someone else."
At least, not knowingly, as she tells the Housewives that Denise allegedly "kind of put me in a situation where I was the cheater."
"I had been out with her and Aaron," Brandi begins.
"And," Brandi says, "I knew that they have an understanding, she could be with girls if she wanted to, as long as it wasn't with a guy."
"The first night we met," she reveals, "something happened."
That first night, the two had gone out to dinner and "completely clicked, got absolutely wasted."
Brandi says that they had started "making out" in the bathroom. Honeslty, plenty of people haved "clicked" that quickly. But that wasn't the end of it.
"In April, she invited me to go to her set in Northern California to do my podcast," she shares.
"That first night, the girls were sleeping in a room downstairs with a door and Denise had a room upstairs," Brandi describes.
"There was no rollaway bed, conveniently," Brandi details. "So I just slept in the bed with Denise."
"We just had a good night, we were hanging out," she says.
"And then the next night," Brandi recalls, "we got really drunk, we were so f--ked up and we kind of hooked up."
"We hooked up. Denise and I," Brandi claims to the group.
"Like, kiss?" sweet, innocent Teddi asks. In her defense, making out is still a hookup. But, in this case, Brandi specifies that it was more than that.
Brandi answers: "Like everything."
"I don't want you guys to judge me," Brandi states, followed by assurances that they are doing nothing of the sort.
"I'm bisexual," Brandi affirms, "everyone knows that, my kids know that. It doesn't matter."
"I was uncomfortable, the kids were downstairs and we were in the loft and there was no door," Brandi describes.
"I couldn't get into it," Brandi admits, "and the next day she just said to me, 'No matter what you do, you cant tell Aaron, he will kill me.'"
'What the f--k is happening right now?" Brandi recalls thinking. "In the moment, I was just like, 'I'm everything that I have always hated.'"
"My books are both about hating cheaters, not being cheaters, being loyal," she describes. "I will never be the other woman."
"I would have never slept with Denise if I thought that Aaron was not okay with it," Brandi states.
"He knew I was going out of town with her," she adds. "He knew we had made out before."
Brandi says that at the time "There was no question in my mind that Aaron was okay with all of this."
Brandi says that after this, Denise's behavior towards her changed, becoming cold ... except for text messages to make sure that "everything was kosher."
Brandi says that Denise made her feel like she was something of a villain.
It took her a while, she says, before she "had a breakdown" and spilled all of this to Kim.
Brandi was clearly bombarded by Denise stans who believe that she has made up all of this to take a shot at being back on the show.
She says that there is more to come, insisting that she is not lying.
We are curious to see what else there is to come -- because we know that this will all come up while the Housewives are in Rome.
In the mean time, Kim shared that this was filmed shortly after her surgery, while she had limited mobility.
As such, someone else did her makeup and her hair.
Kim has come a long way and it was heartwarming to see her with the group, particularly when she affirmed her desire for water, not wine.