Cisco Adler

Cisco Adler is off the market. Ladies, it's Christmas. Get over it.

The musician and ex-boyfriend of Mischa Barton and Kim Stewart proposed to his model girlfriend, Barbara Stoyanoff, about a month ago.

As everyone knows, Halloween brings out the crazies.

It also brings out the attention-starved douchebags. Two cases in point: Cisco Adler and Perez Hilton.

Police in Fargo, N.D., arrested Cisco Adler, best known for that picture of him naked except for tube socks, and for his romantic relationships with various celebrities, on Thursday morning after he punched a bar employee in the nose.

The incident took place during a brawl after his band's show at The Hub.

Alleged rocker and former Mischa Barton boy toy Cisco Adler was denied entry to or kicked out of Teddy's at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel Sunday.

Perhaps he was too drunk, Teddy's has a dress code he didn't conform to, or the bouncers feared seeing Cisco Adler naked after 12 rum and cokes.

No one is accusing Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton of anything resembling the lack of personal hygiene exhibited by "rocker" Cisco Adler.

Her political tactics, however, are growing dirtier by the day.

Lisa D'Amato is a former finalist on America's Next Top Model.

Cisco Adler is an alleged rocker / long-haired dude who dates famous girls and sometimes shows off giant balls in pics found in Paris Hilton's locker.

Las Vegas was saturated with tipsy celebrities celebrating the anniversary of the popular Tao nightclub over the weekend, reports the New York Post.

Leading the way? Cisco Adler and Lydia Hearst, his new girlfriend. The pair was spotted cuddling in the VIP room, while Lydia Hearst's ex-beau, actor Justin Bartha, "looked on" from a table nearby. Ah, that scandalous Cisco Adler.

We have never understood the appeal of this gentleman, but there's little doubt that model / heiress Lydia Hearst is all over Cisco Adler's junk in this photo.

We mean that in the figurative sense, of course. Although the guy has some seriously huge balls. Oh, don't act like you don't know already this from the infamous Cisco Adler nude pic that was circulating around a while back. You know you love it. 

Ah, young love. Who needs flowers when you can just get matching tattoos you're going to want to have laser-removed in four months anyway?

Publishing heiress-model Lydia Hearst and her sometime boyfriend, the, um, incomparable Cisco Adler, are now sporting identical ink on their wrists.

Cisco Adler is more than just a dude who plays in a band and has giant balls. He's a dude who plays in a band, has giant balls and dates rich girls.

His new high-profile gal: model and publishing heiress Lydia Hearst-Shaw.

Here's a piece of celebrity gossip that has left us shocked and appalled.

Perez Hilton reports that The Hills star, Lauren Conrad, was seen making out with a random dude in Vegas this past weekend before the VMAs. Which would be cool, as she currently "dates like a guy" and has every right to play the field.

Cisco Adler wants you to ignore that naked photo.

And his ex-girlfriend.