Remember a few seasons back on Teen Mom 2 when Leah Messer was really, really struggling on a routine basis?
If you watch the show, we're specifically talking about the season where she literally nodded off while holding a baby.
Although she maintained for a while that her problems (and even her trip to rehab) were due to anxiety, it was worse.
The West Virginia native and mother of three has since admitted that she was dealing with drug addiction at that time.
Now, in a new interview, the 27-year-old giving even more details about what happened and what went down.
And her story is darker than we ever realized ...
Our Girl Leah
Leah has always been a fan favorite for many Teen Mom viewers because she's cute and likable and also because she has probably the most tragic story in the whole franchise.
We know about her daughter's illness and her failed marriages, but something she doesn't open up about too often is her struggle with addiction.
In fact, she's only ever really talked about it in depth once before -- back when she was actively abusing drugs, she insisted she was dealing with anxiety.
Not So Much
But viewers of the show were never really convinced, mostly because there were moments like this when she just straight up nodded off.
She explained it by saying that her doctor had prescribed her medication for her anxiety and that she was having a hard time adjusting to it -- and when she went to rehab, she even said it was for her anxiety, not drugs.
But obviously that was not the truth.
As she explained in an episode of her podcast back in 2018, she had a difficult time giving birth to her youngest daughter, Addie, and doctors placed her on a morphine pump because she was in a lot of pain.
What a Tough Time
“I spent three days in the hospital and they weren’t figuring out what the problem was," she said. "They were just keeping me on medicine. It goes into four days and I kept saying something was not right… I leave the hospital and it still doesn’t get better at home."
Since she was still in pain when she left the hospital, she was prescibed Hydrocodone, Percocet, and Tylenol 3 for three months, and when she was STILL complained that she was in pain, she was also prescribed Valium.
Such a Sad Story
At one point she was even getting painkillers from her father, who clearly had his own issues with addiction.
Just a Real Bad Time
MTV ended up forcing her to go away for a month in rehab, which is where she said she had a "spiritual awakening," and she's said that she hasn't relapsed since then.
Here We Go
So now that we've all refreshed our memories on what happened, let's check out these heartbreaking new details Leah shared about this incredibly dark time, all right?
Leah is releasing a memoir in May, and she's already promoting it -- she just did an interview with Hollywood Life to tell us all what we can expect in the book.
“During the writing process I told myself I get to be extremely vulnerable,” she explained.
“The purpose behind the book is for others to be just as vulnerable and be able to share their truth without feeling shameful. For the longest time I think there were a lot of things in my life that happened that I felt ashamed of, definitely.”
It seems like Leah's book may be a little more interesting than some of the others because it seems like she's really planning on talking about quite a bit of stuff that she really hasn't talked about before -- as she said, “Some of it played out on TV, some of it didn’t play out on TV because you can’t fit everything into an hour episode."
It's All in the Book
“Some things that are in the book would be the whole situation revolving around me having an addiction and how all of that happened and where it led me to."
Oh Leah ...
As a bit of a preview, she said "I was suicidal and I go into details about exactly how I was suicidal and why I was suicidal."
"And had it not been for my kids, which is why I named my book Hope, Grace and Faith [those are her kids' middle names], I wouldn’t be here today. There would be no Leah."
"My kids wouldn’t have a mom had it not been for also MTV and Lindsay [her manager], but yes. Those two things will be in there," she added.
But the addiction stuff isn't what the whole book will be about -- she teased that "There’s also a lot more, so they just really get to see my life from my perspective and not what they’ve seen on TV. So I feel like so many people are going to be able to connect with me more and understand where I came from, my childhood up until leaving for Arizona," which is where she went to rehab.
“It was hard," she admitted, "because I had to reconnect with trauma in my childhood that led to decisions I made in my adult life."
“It was going back to when my dad was very — Going back to sexual abuse and physical abuse, it was trying at times."
What's Going On?
A lot of people are picking up on that one particular quote -- by cutting herself off about her father and then mentioning sexual and physical abuse, is she saying that her father was the one who abused her? Or did she just change subjects in a very bad way?
But despite having a hard time confronting all of that trauma and all of those feelings, Leah said that "at the end of the day the bigger vision, the bigger purpose is what is going to make it all worth it because I know other people are going to be able to stand for their truth, stand for their stories and not hold back from truly living their fullest potential.”
And as for the people who speculate that she still may be struggling with drug addiction?
Not Having It
“I personally don’t struggle with it just because honestly when I went to Arizona I made my mind up,” she said.
Back when she was being prescribed all those medications, she said that she was "very naive," but "When I dropped it, I dropped it. There was no going back."
Going through all of that I didn’t see what the world was seeing, which is also why I get to connect with others that are struggling with addiction, struggling with maybe breaking familial cycles."
Not Hearing It
"At that time in my life, honestly everyone could’ve told me until they were blue in the face that there was an issue," she continued.
A Completely Different Person
"And it’s almost like when you’re struggling and in that place you don’t see it. It’s like you’re a completely different person in the same body. I think a lot of people, they don’t really realize that.”
We hope that getting her story out like this has been good for her, and that she continues to do better and better in dealing with all she's been though. Because it really has been a whole, whole lot.