As of this writing, Khloe Kardashian is not officially single.
But let's face it:
Her relationship with Tristan Thompson will be over any minute now.
That guy is a no-good, rotten, low-down, dirty, lying cheater! He has got to go!
Who will take his place, however?
Khloe is a new mother who could really benefit from having a man to help her raise little True Thompson.
She has shown a penchant for athletes over the years (Lamar Odom, James Harden, Tristan himself), prompting us to assume she'll try to bed another one in the near future.
Who will it be?
Please allow us to make the following recommendations...
Saquon Barkley is the New York Giants running back of the future. He just had a baby with his girlfriend, but let's be honest: This hasn't stopped Khloe Kardashian from going after men before.
He fits exactly what Khloe is looking for. He's an up and coming professional basketball player who is on the verge of stardom, but who needs a profile boost.
Robert Covington is an important role player on the next NBA superteam. So his team gets a ton of national attention, but Covington does not... yet. Right up Khloe's alley.
Here's the thing: Trout is the best player in baseball... but no one knows who he is! What better way to actually sign some endorsement deals and garner some attention than by dating Khloe for a bit?
He just seems like so much fun, doesn't he?!? It's easy to see him joining the cast of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
He's been stuck playing in Indiana and Oklahoma City, very small markets. He's from Los Angeles. What if he came home to ball with the Lakers and then came inside of Khloe with his actual balls?
Perhaps Khloe wants to try professional hockey instead. Jones is one of the few African-Americans who plays this sport. We're just gonna leave that there.
Same argument for Byfuglien. Plus, we just wanted to write out that last name. Look at it! Wow!
He's a little past his prime and the Orioles mostly suck this year. He could use an energy boost via a new relationship and Khloe could see what it's like to date a baseball player.
Come on. You KNOW he'd be down for whatever scripted antics E! producers come up with. Also, swimmers have nice bodies.
He's single again. He has the right skin tone. He has A LOT of experience in bed and he's on the verge of being dominant again. What's not to love?
We mean no offense, but dating men hasn't worked out for Khloe. Arike Ogunbowale was a first round WNBA pick and hit a buzzer-beater to win the NCAA title for Notre Dame.
Who are we kidding? Why are we messing around here? The brightest young quarterback in the NFL is also the best looking AND he lives in California.
He's a boxer who once wore THIS to the ring. Please, Khloe. Think of all the amazing content we could produce from this romance.
Just kidding. It would be gross to date your dad.