90 Day Fiance Season 9, Episode 8 showed multiple couples going from bad to worse.
Jibri spends a lot of time defending his buddy Daveed to Miona, because the two do not get along.
Once there, however, Jibri and Daveed are the ones clashing … leading to a physical fight.
Ariela is trying to be supportive of Biniyam’s pie-in-the-sky UFC dreams, but she is in for a rude awakening.
Bilal and Shaeeda grapple with religious differences and very conflicting ideas about how to live and operate in their home.
Emily and Kobe are not getting along, leading to a very toxic moment that happens right in front of her family.
Kara and Guillermo’s short but sweet walk downtown highlights how common international love stories can be.
Patrick is moving to Dallas, which means that so is Thais … and, to her chagrin, John.
Finally, Mohamed is starting to make it clear that his previously stated rules for Yve were just the start — and he expects her to convert.
Jibri Bell and Miona Bell
The two start off at home in Rapid City, packing up for their trip to Chicago. Jibri laments that Miona is taking up so much space in the suitcases, but he also packs what looks like a dozen different sets of sunglasses. That is extremely Jibri of him, but it’s a pretty cute moment for them.
They drive to Chicago
It’s more than 900 miles (nearly 13 hours of driving), so what we saw of the drive was very abbreviated, but Jibri knows that Miona and Daveed don’t get along or like each other, but defends his buddy to Miona, asking her to give him a chance. He also details to the camera that Daveed kicked his head into a coma when they were teens (he was out for three days) after Jibri made fun of his accent. Jibri dated a girl for months only to learn that she is Daveed’s twin sister, and he and Daveed forged a lasting friendship. Totally bonkers.
They arrive
Daveed promotes his truck-related business to the cameras as he and Jibri touch base. He and Miona force smiles and hug.
But Daveed has some advice for Jibri
He suggests that Jibri do some “real” business like he is, which Jibri does not want to hear. He accuses Daveed of sounding just like his (Jibri’s) parents. Jibri’s focus will be music, but Daveed feels that Jibri has only made a little in recent years and has seemed distracted.
The distraction objects to that
Miona speaks up for Jibri following his dreams. It’s a good reminder that these two do work very well together, even if they have been clashing over wedding plans.
Speaking of which …
Miona is taken aback by how expensive this beach wedding that she wants for some reason will be. It’s three times as expensive as it would have been in Serbia. This does not deter her, however, even driving her to take the drastic step of calling to ask questions as she hopes to have a destination wedding during the K-1 visa timeframe.
Meanwhile, at the recording studio
Jibri is reunited with his fellow Black Serbians. He is the band’s lead vocalist. Notably, Jibri may be the first 90 Day Fiance cast member in recent memory whose music is actually, you know, good. Are we forgetting someone? We’re not forgetting Usman or Evelyn, to be clear.
SPACE CA$H
This amazingly-named band member is Space Ca$h and I’m already obsessed.
Daveed creates problems on purpose
Talking about having phones off (just put them on silent like a normal person, it doesn’t have to be a conversation) is fine, but Daveed makes a point that he’s digging into Jibri about Miona wanting to be able to contact him at any time. Even the bandmates feel that it’s different — since Miona is from another country and only knows Jibri — than a “normal” clingy partner, but Daveed just can’t let it go.
Jibri makes first contact
Jibri and Daveed have fought before, and presumably not just that one time that Daveed put Jibri in a coma. They start pushing and slapping each other, and the hostility is palpable. They both have hurt feelings and this is apparently how they express them.
YIKES
What could have been a not-so-playful exchange of light blows turns into something worse as Jibri picks up Daveed and slams him into the ground.
Space Ca$h tries to break it up
These two have a long and emotionally charged history, and right now they’re feuding over Jibri’s “future” wife (remember, they married in Serbia). These tensions won’t go away on their own.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
Ariela has huge soccer mom energy at the moment, but it’s her fiance that she’s dropping off to try out for sports instead of her son. Biniyam still has big dreams of becoming a UFC fighter, though how economically feasible that will be for the family is “uncertain” at best.
Credit where credit is due …
Biniyam looks great in the outfit. He’s an athletic guy. He has the potential to be a real success. But those aren’t why people are unsure about his goals. It’s just a little like someone telling their fiancee and child that they’re going to become rich streaming video games — it’s possible for a few people, but is that a realistic expectation?
Ariela has her own concerns
As Bini begins training, she realizes that he will be spending as much as four hours a day doing this, every day. This is time that they are meant to be spending working on their relationship — which needs some serious help. Ariela is already going to be working remotely and taking care of baby Avi, so this could add to their problems more than it helps.
Another problem
Ariela arrives to pick up Bini and sees … this. Biniyam is sparring with Melissa.
Is this a fair confrontation?
In the past, Biniyam has been facing off against other men, so Ariela was caught by surprise. On the one hand, if we pretend that this is Biniyam’s “work,” then having a woman as a coworker is reasonable and Ariela is being unfair. But given Biniyam’s history of either cheating or just being such a neglectful partner that Ari and two of his other exes believe that he cheated (pick whichever one you like, but either he’s a cheater or he behaves so much like one that it makes little difference), he’s a special case. The only truly unfair part about Ariela’s confrontation is that she gave Melissa a hard time about it. No matter what, this isn’t Melissa’s fault.
Bilal Hazziez and Shaeeda Sween
Bilal is dressed up to go to the masjid for jumah, as he and Shaeeda have on a previous episode. This time, she’s not going — she’s going to pray at home. Bilal is taken aback. At the risk of oversimplifying things, most Americans know that Christians have similar discussions, some valuing church attendance more than others. This is, while not identical, a comparable discussion.
A discussion … or a lecture?
Shaeeda notes that in Trinidad, it’s not uncommon for women in particular to stay home. Menstruation and breastfeeding are two reasons that she cites, but there can be others. Bilal feels differently, and Shaeeda calls him out for taking on a lecturing tone when he describes jumah as less than optional.
This is part of a pattern with him
Bilal has a very patronizing tone. To his credit, he is calm and does not launch into direct or vicious insults. He’s not Angela Deem, for example. But being calm and being respectful of a fellow human being — let alone your partner — are not the same thing. Anyone can slip into a “lecturing” tone, especially on a subject where they feel passionate, but Bilal has done this too many times in just a couple of weeks. Also, Shaeeda saw this side of him before arriving, and is only now realizing that he’s like this all of the time.
After jumah
Bilal returns. He brought Shaeeda something, but stops in his tracks when he sees the mess that she has made. There is water on the countertops and, worse, on the (wood) floor. Shaeeda apparently splashed the water while ritually cleaning herself for her prayer.
Whoops!
Shaeeda and Bilal clean up the mess, but it really highlights — just as much as the hair-pins-in-the-couch incident, how differently they view the house. Shaeeda is messier than the average person (keep in mind that Bilal’s kitchen is very easy to clean), if only by a little. Bilal is tidy, to the point of being controlling.
But sometimes, Bilal is right
He also calls her out on putting away the utensils the wrong way, mismatching forks and spoons (which is a huge pain; I’d always rather do the dishes myself). Bilal also says that some of them aren’t fully clean, and Shaeeda apologizes by saying that doing the dishes isn’t her strong suit. Something’s unclear — is she unaware of how to work a dishwasher or is something else going on? Either way, they’re both a little in the wrong about stuff this episode.
Emily Bieberly and Kobe Blaise
Producers were sure to get Kobe talking about what he misses back home so that they could edit it into this scene. While Emily isn’t perfect, editors have gone above and beyond to fan the flames of existing misogyny among certain viewers to make sure that she is downright hated, and it’s working.
Right now, Kobe is cold
Honestly, I wish that reality TV would show the temperature on screen for any moment when the cast say that they are hot or cold. Anyway, they’re walking out to the stables. Kobe apparently wants to show Emily’s family that he can help out on the farm (her mom, Lisa, can’t do some things anymore, and is grateful for the help). Honestly, there’s a good chance that they’re only doing this for the camera’s benefit.
Emily wants to hang out with Kobe ASAP
When he’s done, they’ll have free time, so Emily hopes to hang out with him. First, he needs to help empty some horse manure from the stables. It is a foul smelling place, even in the cold, and even when Kobe compares it to his father’s chickens in Cameroon.
Emily is a little too eager
Her “suggestions” for Kobe — how much he should put into his shovel, for example — start to get too bossy. Some people like being told exactly how to do things, some people do not. But no one likes it when a tone is condescending or demanding.
Also, Kobe clearly hates being told what to do
As someone of a similar way of thinking, I get it — Kobe is doing the task, and unless he’s doing something wrong, he should be allowed to just keep on doing it his way instead of how Emily wants to do it. If Emily wants it done another way, she’s welcome to do it instead. This is not like changing Koban’s diaper, putting him in his car seat, or (not!) feeding a 17-month-old whole peanuts, because those are all things with consequences.
Kobe loses his temper
“Can you just shut the f–k up?” might be how very specific friends or even partners speak to each other in a playful way, but for the vast majority of people, that is an unacceptable way to speak to a fellow human being, not to mention your fiancee and the mother of your child. To make matters even worse, Kobe snaps this at Emily in front of her mother. There is simply nothing that could make this okay.
Emily is stunned
She doesn’t seem to realize how rude she was being through her bossiness (it was bordering on micromanaging), but Kobe’s direct hostility was worse. She has never seen this side of him. They’re only a few weeks into living together in Kansas. Is this just what he’s going to be like when they have conflict?
Back in the stables, Kobe talks to Lisa
He wonders if their conflict is the result of different gender roles in their respective cultures. It’s clear that he is thinking more of Emily’s genuinely annoying bossiness towards him and not of what he said to her before she went inside.
But Lisa notices
It’s not an American thing or really a gender thing, she explains to him, it’s just a “person” thing. As gently as she possibly can, Lisa tells Kobe that her own husband would never, ever speak to her the way that he just spoke to Emily. That his hopefully true of any couple. Hell, it’s hopefully true of any friends.
Inside, they hash things out
Emily is still (justifiably) pissed, but the two of them do apologize … sort of. Kobe doesn’t really explain why he was annoyed, describing her as just “talking to” him instead of what she was doing — micromanaging. And it seems like he doesn’t fully understand the hostility of what he said to her, either. Their apologies seem half-hearted, so it’s really not encouraging.
Kara Bass and Guillermo Rojer
It’s truly not an insult to them to say that nothing much happened with Kara and Guillermo this week. They walked through downtown Charlottesville, which she describes as a “small city.” (It’s actually a mid-sized town, comparable in size to Salina, Kansas, where Emily and Kobe are). Several years ago, a nazi march made headlines in Charlottesville, but this walkable outdoor mall is clearly pleasant and walkable. Kara and Guillermo chat with a jewelry vendor who had also come to the US on a K-1 visa years earlier, and it was cute. But again, nothing really happened. We’re glad that they had a nice time.
Patrick Mendes and Thais Ramone
Patrick and Thais are having a date night ahead of their move to Dallas, which Patrick is doing sooner than expected. (We already reported that he sold the Austin house last year, so this is not a huge surprise). He tells Thais that John will come with them, and she is not thrilled.
Thais tries mac and cheese for the first time
It’s one of those cute cultural moments. Mac and cheese (a catch-all for the dish, which can use many types of pasta, not just macaroni) is an American staple. It’s also wildly delicious, and Thais agrees.
But she’s not eager to continue having a roommate
She gets Patrick to at least promise that he doesn’t plan to live with John forever, but he’s defensive of his brother and wants to continue to be there for him. There’s a lot that’s left unspoken here, as it seems clear that John must have had some sort of life troubles recently and is being helped out by Patrick, but Patrick won’t come out and say it.
Thais doesn’t want to let it go
Thais is eager to live alone with her future husband, which is a familiar story for the show, and a reasonable way to feel. But we usually see this in couples where they are staying with a parent or with parents and lack financial independence. This is the opposite of that, with Patrick presumably being the one who is helping John, and he’s unwilling to essentially abandon his brother to please his fiancee.
Moving day
The next house will actually be larger, by square footage, but two stories. John takes one car. Patrick and Thais take another, and it’s a good thing, too.
They take a pit stop on the way
Patrick shows off the infamous car brand’s “autopilot” feature (which some critics have said has done more damage to the reputation of ACTUAL self-driving car technology, which is still in development by more reputable companies, than any fearmongering article to date). Patrick and Thais pull over to bone, so they arrive a while later than John does.
Welcome home!
Patrick and Thais tour the new house, but Thais is initially uncertain. Mostly, some of the furniture (especially things belonging to John) is not making her happy, and she hopes that it can change. Realistically, she has mixed feelings about the move, this is the second time that she’s moved in a short span of time, and she’s cranky.
Patrick and Thais clash
Patrick isn’t really understanding some of the underlying feelings that Thais has (at least, it doesn’t sound like it), and because he grew up in such extreme poverty, he is very sensitive about her complaining about the new house. That is very understandable.
Yvette Arellano and Mohamed Abdelhamed
The two have breakfast, but Yvette is still running over the events from last week’s episode. She feels bad that Mohamed felt uncomfortable or even judged. At the same time, she does not like how Mohamed treated her after the dinner.
Today, they’re going to a mosque
This is an important religious experience for Mohamed, and a significant cultural experience for Yvette, who is surprised to learn that she will need to wear a hair covering inside of the mosque even though she herself is not Muslim. (Lots of places have dress codes, including houses of worship)
Yve is visibly uncomfortable
It’s a new experience for her, she’s being filmed the whole time, and she is also clearly having complicated feelings about Mohamed bringing her here in the face of the rules that he has been adding. Yve made a lot of changes to her lifestyle before he arrived, and never expected to have to make even more.
Mohamed wants more, however
Apart from Yve, Mohamed shares that he would like to see her not only learn about Islam, but convert, which Yve has made clear in the past is not on the table. She doesn’t want to change his beliefs, and she doesn’t think that he wants to change hers.
Outside, he makes that clear
Yvette is stunned when Mohamed tells her that he’d like for her to one day convert to Islam. He makes no secret of being disappointed.
The lifestyle changes were just a step
He has cultural values from how he grew up, but it sounds like he’s hoping that Yve will not just do these things to comfort him, but to adjust herself to adopting his faith as her own.
Yve heads out to meet with a friend
Mohamed initially tries to discourage her from going out, and is clearly judgmental that she will be having a glass of wine with a friend. He seems to not want her to hang out with her friends, possibly because he is unaccustomed to these kinds of friendships among women.
Yvette tells Tatiana everything
His expectations are a lot for her to process. At one point, Tatiana asks if he’s going to make her choose between her and her friends. He already issued a similar ultimatum over clothing and swimwear. As Tatiana warns, this could be a slippery slope.