Sometimes, every once in a while, actual magic happens.
And these days, Jersey Shore is back on TV.
If that's not magic, who knows what is?
Think this is just a shameless ratings grab playing off nostalgia?
Well, actually you're right, it kind of is that.
It's been a lot better than we expected, however, thanks to the utterly bonkers drama of the Family Vacation reboot.
So let's take a few moments to look back at some of the most memorable scenes in Jersey Shore history - past to present.
Grab a nice tall glass of Ron Ron Juice, make sure your hair is straightened and your t-shirt is FTD, and let's get after it ...
During the first season of Jersey Shore, some guy just hauled off and punched Snooki. Right in the face. For no real reason. He was immediately arrested, the horrific event served as a bonding moment for everyone, and an entire nation was somehow endeared to Snookers.
In the grand scheme of things, Angelina wasn't on the show for very long at all, but she still left an impression -- a very, very bad one. In this legendary scene, Snooki attacks her after she announces her feelings that the rest of the cast members are "fake." Because on the Shore, them's fightin' words.
"Hold up," you may be wondering at this point. "Are all these iconic moments just fights?" And honestly, yeah, a lot of them are. But could you honestly say that special moments like this one, the one where JWoww gets so trashed that she gets kicked out of a club and then blames it on The Situation and tries to hit him in retaliation, aren't the most memorable?
Remember the beautiful bromance between Pauly D and Vinny? Here's one of the most precious moments they shared on the show -- it's enough to bring a tear to your eye.
This clip in itself isn't necessarily iconic, but it focuses on two things that will always be heavily associated with Jersey Shore -- pranks and the word "smush." In the clip, JWoww has plans to use the Smush Room for an evening with her boyfriend, but Pauly and Vinny aren't having it.
While we're talking about classic Jersey Shore terms, we have to talk about grenades, right? Like the last clip, this one itself isn't what's iconic -- it's just a really solid example of how seriously the guys took grenades. Which was very, very seriously.
You really can't talk about Jersey Shore memories without talking about the ridiculously unhealthy relationship between Sammi and Ronnie, but then again, you can't possibly name each and every moment, either. So as a good example of how awful they were together, here's a clip of Sammi getting upset with Ron for having a friendly conversation with JWoww and then punching him in the face.
Another Angelina moment -- in this one, Mike finds a used pad just hanging out on the bathroom floor, and he just assumes it belonged to Angelina. To teach her a lesson (or really just to be a jerk), he picked up the bad and hid it under her pillow. Really, he did that, and you know you remember it.
Snooki actually met her husband, Jionni, on the show, and if the first meeting of the man who would become the father of her children isn't a big deal, then who knows what is? Hilariously, it wasn't love at first sight though -- it was more like "I want to smush and this guy is available, so he will do." A love story for the ages!
Remember Danielle, the girl who stalked Pauly's whole life on the boardwalk that one time? Maybe not, but you probably definitely remember his brilliant takedown!
OK, so this clip is the start of a whole mess of memorable moments -- it's the letter that JWoww and Snooki anonymously sent to Sammi, explaining that Ronnie had been cheating on her. This part isn't so bad, the part where she finds the letter ...
... But then it gets real bad here, after Sammi figures out that Snooki and JWoww were the ones who sent her the letter. Instead of getting upset with Ron for cheating on her, she got upset with the girls for telling her, and things get out of hand from there.
Let's take a break from all the fighting to check out something a little more pure, OK? A little sweeter, a little less violent ... just a girl and her pickles.
You probably didn't know that these people have rap skills ... and that's because they really, really don't. But Vinny challenged Sammi to a rap battle anyway in this incredible scene.
Pauly was usually the most laid-back cast member, but as he proved in this popular scene, he actually did get angry sometimes!
It would be impossible and quite possibly a crime to do a run-down of iconic Jersey Shore moments without including the time that Snooki got arrested for being too drunk at the beach. And so here it is, in all its trashy glory.
Yep, JWoww and Sammi got into another fight, this time because ... well, it's hard to follow. Sammi was rude to Deena, Snooki stood up for Deena, Sammi continued to be rude, and finally JWoww snapped. The guys get involved in the argument too. It was just a great big mess, honestly. But can't we say the same for the entire series?
Hey, remember when they filmed that one season of Jersey Shore in Italy? And Ron got mad at Mike because Sam had told him that they'd been talking about bringing ladies back to the house? And so Ron and Mike got into a fight, and Mike straight up lost his mind and rammed himself head first into a wall? And then he messed up his neck and they had to call an ambulance? Of course you do. You will never, ever forget this.
And finally, here's the very final scene from the very final episode ... or at least it was the final episode, before we learned they were filming the new season! Still, it's emotional and moving, or at least as moving as a reality show finale can be.
As crazy as things got during the first run of the show, did they get any crazier the second time around?
Considering the fact that Pauly brought in a doll that looked like Sammi and recited some of her most iconic phrases, and the fact that the cast members actually played with it ... yeah, things were pretty crazy.
For Real, Stop
Ron even made jokes about having sex with the doll -- we could practically hear Sam screaming "RAHN STAHP" every time that weird doll popped up.
And then there was the time that Angelina pooped her pants, remember that? The girls were all in a cab and when a foul odor started wafting around, she admitted to farting ... but it never went away. She then said that it may have actually been more than a fart, but when they got back to the house and she checked, she assured everyone that it was "just a period sh-t." Is that a thing? Nope. Girl straight up pooped her pants.
Now, this may come as a shock, but another wild thing that happened during the Jersey Shore revival was that Ron cheated on his girlfriend, Jen Harley. Crazy, right?
Not Good, Bud
While the gang was in Miami, he chatted up a number of ladies, and he even brought one to the hot tub ... and we all know that the hot tub is basically just the outdoor smush room. After the episode aired, he and Jen broke up in extremely dramatic fashion, even though he swore he didn't cheat.
What a Roller Coaster
After arrests and fights and so many bad times, they seemed to work things out ... except in a much more recent episode, Ron was shown getting into the hot tub with ANOTHER girl. Guidos never learn, huh?
Meanwhile, with Mike
This is a lot of stuff about Ron, right? Probably because the most dramatic cast member from the old days, The Situation, is sober now and spends most of his time on the show eating and being kind of an OK guy.
In fact, one of the sweeter big moments from these new episodes happened when he proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Lauren -- even though Ron tried to ruin it by whining about his own life and trying to start a fight between Mike and Jenni.
Just a Mess
And hey, since we're back on Ron already, how about the time that he texted over 300 times, calling her names, and then she showed up and yelled at him and spit in his face? Things got so bad that the police were called in for a domestic disturbance, but MTV wasn't allowed to film that part.
It's weird -- Mike is going to prison, he got engaged on the show and in real life, he's already married, Jenni is getting a divorce, Deena is pregnant, Snooki just announced that she's pregnant, too, but Ron's messy relationship has provided some of the most iconic moments from the new episodes.
You know what they say: you can take the guido out of Jersey Shore ...