Jenelle Evans and David Eason are bad at keeping secrets and even worse at lying.
That’s bad news for a couple with so much to hide, but good news for those of us who enjoy observing the carnival sideshow that is life on the Land.
Of course, it’s possible that interest in the Easons’ lives wouldn’t be so intense if they weren’t constantly spilling the tea all over social media.
David got fired from Teen Mom 2 way back in February, and we still know everything he does, because he’s the thirstiest man alive.
After they over-share, Jenelle and David usually regret it and try to backpedal, which is exactly what they’re doing with news of their latest breakup.
Take a look:
The Easons
Jenelle just posted this photo to prove to fans that all is well in the Eason household. The only problem is, we know for a fact that’s not true.
Ya Gotta Keep ‘Em Separated
Earlier this week, Jenelle changed her relationship status on her Facebook page to “separated.”
The Obvious Conclusion
Not surprisingly, fans took this as an indication that she and David had at least temporarily called it quits.
Jenelle Claps Back
But despite the fact that Jenelle herself started the rumor, she responded to it the same way she responds to every situation — with seething outrage,
Jenelle Is Mad
Jenelle took to Instagram with this hilarious post about how she plans to unfriend “everyone” all because someone sold her info to the press.
Delusions of Grandeur
This probably goes without saying, but no one sold Jenelle’s info.
We Shouldn’t Have to Explain This
She posted that info in a public forum. Teen Mom 2 fans shared and reposted it for the simple reason that most of them don’t like her.
Damage Control
After lashing out at her followers, Jenelle proceeded to do what she does best — clean up a mess she made entirely on her own.
We Second That Eye-Roll
Nah, sorry. You really don’t get to complain about rumors you started yourself.
Right About One Thing
It’s certainly true that most married couples experience occasional disagreements, but most of them don’t announce to the world that they’ve broken up every time this happens.
A Pattern Emerges
Yes, as you may know, Jenelle and David have done this sort of thing several times in the past.
Cause for Celebration
Each time, of course, TM2 fans hope the split will last, as Jenelle and her kids are currently stuck in a very dangerous situation.
The Call
Millions were horrified by this recently-surfaced 911 call in which Jenelle accuses David of assaulting her so brutally that she feared she had suffered broken bones.
Mixed Emotions
While Jenelle might not be the most popular of the Teen Moms, no one wants her to endanger her own life, and they certainly don’t want her to put her children in harm’s way.
Stubborn Jenelle
But those who know Evans best say she’ll keep taking David back, if only to prove the haters wrong.
Saving Face
“She doesn’t want to lose face, no matter how emotionally taxing, and unhealthy, it may be to stay together,†a source recently explained to The Inquisitr.
Her Own Worst Enemy
But while Jenelle apparently has every intention of staying with David for the foreseeable future, she’s apparently extremely unhappy in her marriage.
Cats and Dogs
The source adds that Jenelle and David have been “fighting like cats and dogs” in recent months, and the situation appears to be getting worse.
Queen of Lies
“Jenelle loves to paint this image of the ideal marriage, with her gushing interviews about David, and picture perfect family Instagram posts,” the source said.
All-Out War
“Neither of them likes to back down when they believe they’ve been wronged and they’re in the right, so they fight regularly and hard,†the insider added.
That’s … Unexpected
“Usually it is Jenelle, though, that’s forced to play peacemaker — she feels she has the most to lose if their marriage fails, and she has spent so much time defending David, and talking him up,” the source concluded.
Hold On a Minute …
So Jenelle is the level-headed one in this situation? We didn’t see that one coming.
Now That’s … Unexpected
Jenelle has been arrested for assault on numerous occasions, and she became a household name thanks to a video in which she pounded another woman’s head into the pavement.
David Is the Very Worst
We guess it’s a testament to how mean and violent David is that Jenelle is so often the one to back down from a fight.
One Seriously Bad Dad
The current situation is just another reminder of why TM2 fans get so excited over news that David and Jenelle have split. Sadly, it doesn’t look like the breakup will ever stick.