On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Season 6, Episode 7, the less compatible couples were fracturing at the seams.
Communication issues, ultimatums, harsh judgments, and being too different … any of these can end a relationship.
Meanwhile, another couple was still trying to meet. Life kept throwing problems in their path.
Take a look at our full recap below:
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
One of the extremely tourist-y things to see in Panama is, of course, the Panama Canal. It’s easy to give in to cynicism on many topics, but this is truly a marvel of engineering that has revolutionized world trade. So Jasmine has brought Gino to see it.
Gino is an engineer himself
It was a natural fit for Jasmine to take him to see this. She tries to talk about how the US built this canal, highlight what she characterizes as an almost romantic (really?) relationship between their respective countries. But Gino seems disinterested in that talk, instead focusing upon the canal and almost seeming to tune out Jasmine. This is only one of his many rejections, and it bothers her.
Let’s talk about communication
Jasmine tries to talk to Gino about how they could communicate better. She notes that her ex, with whom she was only with for a year, had communication issues with her. Gino immediately brings up his ex, how they were together for seven years, and claims that they had no communication issues. He also seems to mock Jasmine’s gestures? Jasmine feels hurt, and Gino points out that it’s hypocritical for her to get “angry” when he brings up his ex — since she brought up hers first. Right now, he just wants to enjoy the canal.
Gino has something on his mind
“Baby, what’s going on? You’re being very weird,” Jasmine says. For Gino to be weird is a pretty tall order. What’s on his mind, of course, is the knowledge that Dane isn’t just Jasmine’s friend, but also her ex. Jasmine’s other friend told him this — and it’s so hypocritical, since Jasmine would “blow a gasket” if he had a friendship with an ex, let alone hid it from her. So, Gino brings this up, accusing her of lying to him. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“You’re acting like I’m cheating on you”
Jasmine was quick to say that “this is crazy,” which is often an accurate description of this relationship. But Gino asks “do you have anything going on with him right now,” which is a question that Jasmine does not appreciate in the slightest. She acknowledges that she and Dane were “friends with benefits” after breaking up, but says that she has been faithful and that she and Dane are only friends. Dane, too, is only interested in friendship. Of course, Jasmine hasn’t told Gino that Dane lives in the same building.
“Friend stuff?”
Gino asks Jasmine about her time with Dane. Do they spend time together alone? What “friend stuff” do they do when they hang out? Then, Jasmine tells him about Dane sharing the building. Gino feels angry and betrayed because he would “never” have paid for this rental if he’d known that her ex lived in the building. Jasmine says that they are not physically attracted to each other, even though Dane is a serious hottie. She didn’t mention that bit to Gino, but it’s true.
Rejection
Jasmine brings up how Gino constantly rejects her. He does this directly, when she wants to initiate sex and he turns her down. He also does this in small ways, seemingly all day and every day. Death of a thousand cuts, basically. The slightest flirtation from her has him either shutting down or changing the subject. It hurts.
Insecurities
Jasmine also delves into how Gino has made her feel deeply insecure in ways that she had never imagined. So yes, she does think about sex with Dane sometimes — something that she could have kept quiet if she’d wanted to. But the context is more contrasting the sexual chemistry in her previous relationship with her current one. “If our sexual life were better, then I would fantasize about us.”
The hypocrisy
“I’m losing my trust, and how are we supposed to get married without trust?” Gino remarks to the camera. Jasmine is talking to her ex, fantasizing about her ex, and meeting with him. She got Gino to pay for her room in the same building with her ex without telling him. If Gino did even one of these things, Jasmine would explode. It’s not right.
Christian and Cleo
It’s their first morning together. Christian was, of course, super sleepy after his long flight. It probably didn’t help that he had some drinks on the plane. So, though he and Cleo went to bed, they didn’t do much more than kiss and a bit of sleepy spooning. Not romantic, but very normal for two people who’ve just met in person after one finished an intercontinental flight.
Time for Cleo’s morning routine
She explains to Christian that she uses estrogen gel, which she applies topically to her arms, rather than taking pills. It’s gentler on her liver, she explains. Notably, cis women also use many of the treatments that trans women use. Estrogen gel helps menopausal cis women relieve more extreme symptoms. In Cleo’s case, her body does not produce enough estrogen on its own, so the gel helps. (Similarly, other vital medications like puberty blockers are helpful for cis folks — like when an 8-year-old starts puberty, for example) Cleo lets Christian know that it will fully absorb into her skin in a short amount of time.
Time for their first day together
We don’t see much of the day itself, but we do see them dining out in the evening. Cleo and Christian discuss their first night, with Christian emphasizing that he hopes that she doesn’t think that his lack of physical affection was about her. He was, he shares, just super sleepy … especially after drinking on the flight.
“This place is like really small and crowded”
Christian’s idea of a night on the town involves a cramped, crowded, and very loud place. It’s sensory overload for Cleo. She has trouble processing what people are saying if more than one person is speaking. In addition to being deeply relatable, this means that she’s not as big on the social scene as Christian is.
With Christian, every opportunity is a social opportunity
This is when Christian shares that he was speaking to some young (adult) women on the flight, and apparently he gave them — or someone — the creeps enough that a flight attendant refused to give him more drinks. Christian found it unsettling, but Cleo seemed to feel more unnerved than he did. She also doesn’t love that it sounds like he was flirting on a flight, but it would have bothered her more if she’d been on the flight with him.
NO!!
You don’t need to be Cleo to actively recoil when Christian leans over and just starts chatting with a neighboring table — which happens to be a table of young women who are celebrating a birthday. This is just … cringe. We don’t think that Christian is hitting on them, and neither does Cleo. But it’s the sort of thing that would make many people sort of “shut down” and wait for the breach in etiquette to end. Cleo is shutting down because the social situation is overwhelming her. Christian doesn’t seem to get that.
Are they just too different?
It’s hard to tell from a first date, and Cleo isn’t writing him off. Yet. “It’s not about me being shy. I’m autistic, and I wish he would be a little more considerate,” Cleo tells the confessional camera. “If today’s date was an example of how every single date between Christian is going to go, I don’t necessarily think that this is the type of relationship I want to be in.”
Meisha Johnson and Nicola Kanaan
At this point, Meisha has been in Israel with Nicola for a few days. But she has some concerns, and Nicola has not been in any rush to reassure her. She wants to meet his family, and she wants to know that he takes her worries seriously.
Oh, a dress!
Though Meisha is not initially sure that she’s spotting a wedding dress (it’s totally a wedding dress), she decides to change her clothes in order to look better as she and Nicola visit the city of Haifa. So Meisha cralws into the back seat of Nicola’s car and changes clothes.
“That is a little bit worldly”
Nicola seems scandalized that Meisha would change clothes in a car, where “anyone” could theoretically see her. He stands in front of the window. To the confessional camera, he indirectly chastises her for being too “worldly.” Okay dude. Anyway, Meisha has changed clothes in all sorts of places. It used to be a job requirement, when she was a broadcast journalist.
Here’s the thing with Nicola …
He seems to be one of those men who is SO happy to be with a beautiful woman who is very intentional about her beauty, but he seems to resent and belittle the effort that goes into that. Meisha is naturally beautiful, but she doesn’t roll out of bed looking like this. Of course, maybe Nicola doesn’t care about looks at all. He is an unusual person and mostly seems to be treating Meisha like a friend.
News!
Nicola reveals to Meisha that he has informed at least some of his family that she exists. This is a bit of a surprise, because he kept her a secret (more or less) for about seven years. Nicola had assumed that his marriage to Meisha would be a foregone conclusion, but that is not the case.
Meisha makes it clear
If she leaves Israel after this visit and they are not engaged, then this will end. Nicola had taken it for granted that they would marry — even before they met each other. They both feel that they may be “destined” for one another … but that means different things to each of them. And that is not the only disagreement that they have, despite both being devout and orthodox Catholics. And despite Nicola having mentored Meisha in her Catholicism.
Bar hopping? Not for Nicola
Catholicism does not generally restrict people from dancing, drinking alcohol, or having a social life. Catholic doctrine might frown upon getting railed in the bathroom (calling into question why one would bother going to a nightclub), but hundreds of millions of Catholics feel free to consume alcohol or attend social gatherings as they wish. Not Nicola. That’s … interesting.
“I don’t stay more than half hour”
Nicola grudgingly agrees to humor Meisha by having fun in the city … but only for 30 minutes. Honestly, anyone is free to set any boundary for themselves that they like. But Nicola seems to be implying that Meisha should also abjure these activities. Which … is puzzling Catholic and ex-Catholic viewers.
“We don’t do like going nightclubs, dancing”
Again … we suspect that Catholic theologians at the Vatican would disagree with Nicola’s special version of orthodox behavior. By the way, Meisha mentions that she smokes a cigarette once a year, on New Year’s Eve. It’s unclear why she would want to do this, but once a year probably does less damage to her lungs than being around a campfire that often. Nicola disapproves, and not because cigarette smoking is a form of olfactory terrorism. Instead, it’s because he feels that it’s some sort of indulgence. He feels the same about drinking and dancing, so that’s no real surprise.
Why is he so against it?
In his mind, because there might be “worldly temptation” in places like nightclubs, he should avoid them altogether. Other Catholics might argue that what matters is not committing acts that are considered to be a “sin” within their faith — not whether you have the opportunity to. In fact, famously, Christian theology teaches of the religion’s savior facing, but resisting, temptation to avoid his grisly fate. Just saying. Nicola’s standing out.
Meisha does like to have fun sometimes
She also very wisely asks Nicola if he’s going to be judging her teenage daughters for having their own social lives. He admits that he doesn’t like it, but says that he won’t clash with them — because he values his relationship with Meisha. That is actually very smart of him.
“You’re having fun here!”
Nicola does end up having fun when Meisha persuades him to come in and enjoy the nightclub for a few minutes. Maybe he has a secret, fun side that he has hidden from everyone — including himself?
Riley Attaway and Violet
There is something sort of funny about a US military veteran visiting multiple Vietnamese historical sites. Riley was not part of it, but the US was pretty infamously involved in Vietnam’s civil war — and not on the winning side. So some of the spoils of war that these places display are recognizably American vehicles. From decades ago, but still. Riley has a very nuanced and appropriate view of the war, including the atrocities of it, so he’s not having some sort of culture shock.
“He’s rude in Vietnam”
Violet sits down with Riley to talk to him about how he came across to her family. Her daughters liked him just fine … but her mom did not. At all.
“She says you are jealous”
In addition to conveying her mother’s concerns that Riley is jealous and wants to “control” Violet (maybe not inaccurate), she notes that it is traditional in Vietnam to bring a gift to your intended’s parents when visiting their house. Riley had no way of knowing that. Violet suggests that he might have looked it up before visiting. Of course, she also could have warned him. This is a communication issue for both of them.
Riley also has something to bring up
He notes that her insulting words hurt. Violet explains that it is normal to sort of “neg” someone in Vietnam like this, calling someone ugly or old when you don’t mean it. But Riley reminds her that he is American, and the idea of joking like this with a stranger really rubs him the wrong way.
There is another layer to this
Riley points out that, in his time in Vietnam, he has only seen one other person whose skin tone matches his. As a Black man, and particularly as a Black man with dark skin (colorism is a think, folks!), he has lived under white supremacist beauty standards for his whole life. And he clearly knows that there is colorism in Asia. Riley explains that he’s sensitive to the idea that he’s ugly or undesirable.
“I sympathized with him”
She didn’t mean to make him feel alienated. Violet is glad that he shared this with her. This is all part of getting to know each other.
“Enough for sexy?”
Riley and Violet both look absolutely fantastic as they meet up for a nice dinner on a rooftop restaurant. They want to have a nice date together … but they still have a lot of things to work through.
Violet has questions
Citing the importance of her family liking and ultimately approving of Riley, she asks if the same is true for his relatives. It is not. Riley notes that it’s important for her to get along with his family and friends — within reason. But ultimately, it’s up to him. He’s choosing Violet as his future wife — no one else can veto that. Except for Violet herself.
Of course …
Violet has made inroads in developing a rapport with Riley’s dad. But that brings up a sensitive topic. Violet sent his dad a bunch of frankly hostile messages — about Riley — when they went through a rough patch. Violet quickly objects to Riley bringing this up, and they agree to have a nice dinner. That lasts a little while longer.
Tiffanie time!
Riley gets his friend, TIffanie, on a video call just before he goes to the bathroom. The timing seems clumsy, but it may have been deliberate. Tiffanie and Violet chat for a bit, and at first, it’s all good!
“He’s a good man. He’s a cute man.”
Violet is happy to give her appraisal of Riley as a person. And TIffanie is happy to hear it. Then, Riley returns … possibly sooner than he and Tiffanie planned (if they did plan it).
“Why did you not delete the app?”
But things take a turn when Tiffanie asks Violet why she didn’t delete the dating app when Riley did. Violet is clearly uncomfortable, and balks at answering. This really feels like a pre-planned question. Riley should feel confident enough to ask Violet this himself and not ask through his friend. And also? Not during a date night. Come on, man. Maybe next week, we’ll get Violet’s answer.
Statler Riley and Dempsey Wilkinson
Though Statler arrived just fine in the UK, Dempsey — who lives in the UK — is running late. She was on a family vacation in Thailand. So Statler will have to take the journey to her hotel solo. This involves multiple cars and a train.
The what
Statler’s hotel is called The Cow Hollow Hotel, which really fits the British vibe of whimsical names. The place is nice, but very small. Statler does a bit to the camera about how alarmingly close the bathroom is to the bed. Unfortunately, she will be spending much more time in the bathroom than she would have liked.
Statler is sick
Her fear is that she might be contagious. Statler feels so concerned that producers keep their distance, and she films herself while describing her unfortunate symptoms. It’s fortunately not COVID, as that virus can cause lifelong disability in survivors. But it’s also not a simple stomach bug. If Statler could explain this away as her body having a natural reaction to English cooking, that would be less surprising.
She has a parasite?
We admittedly have a few questions. Fortunately, the UK may have a bad healthcare system compared to most of Europe (and it is poised to get even more like America’s under current political trends), but it’s still significantly better than what the vast majority of people get in the US. So she already has nausea meds and, one hopes, an anti-parasitic regimen. Statler doesn’t go into much detail, which is just fine.
What???
Statler then just sort of walks to a spot where she and Dempsey, who has finally arrived, will meet her. Dempsey is carrying multiple bags. And they just stand and chat awkwardly on the street, as if they’ve only just met instead of fallen in love online. It’s a surreal moment, we get it, but it also hammers home that they might be perfect for each other.
They’re REALLY cute together
Statler and Dempsey are both sort of awkward in similar yet non-identical ways. Statler compliments Dempsey’s butt, but only after asking permission. It’s so cute. Most of us have met dozens of gay women with similar vibes to each of them. We’re really rooting for them. But we are not rooting for Statler’s parasite.
Tyray Mollett and “Carmella”
Though Carmella is a work of fiction, Tyray is still clinging on some level to the idea that a husband or boyfriend is messaging him lies — to make him think that he is a catfishing victim (he is) to break up him and Carmella. After years of emotional and financial investment, Tyray is having trouble cutting through the denial. His sister, Lashanti, is taking him to someone who might be able to help.
Louis is a private investigator
He has spoken to Tyray over the phone already and hopes that he can help. This isn’t as simple as following someone’s cheating spouse, Especially because Louis is essentially there to present information on two different people.
So, what did he find?
Louis shows Tyray and Lashanti the Twitter page of the “real” Carmella — that is to say, the woman whose photos Tyray has been receiving for years. He can show Tyray that the person messaging him was someone else, because Tyray sent money to a different account than this woman’s. This woman is a “fetish artist” and a cam performer. And she lives and works in the US — not Barbados.
This is hard
But it does help Tyray to acknowledge that he is a victim of catfishing. He has spent hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of dollars on someone who does not exist. He’s still holding onto one idea — that perhaps his catfisher is a woman. Tyray cannot imagine having that rapport with a man, even a man who is lying to him for money. Poor Tyray.
Now, he has some news to break
Tyray has to open up to his mother and his other sister. They don’t even know about the Carmella situation — so he tells him about it, including his trip to Barbados a year ago. Then he gets to the part about the catfishing. And they immediately ask if he’s okay. Then, they express their anger at the person who preyed upon his trusting nature.
Tyray is thinking about going to try to meet the catfisher
He needs closure or his denial is always going to haunt him. His mother and sister both make it clear that they would, in his shoes, want more than closure. They are understandably protective of this “teddy bear.” Tyray deserves better than this heartache. On that, we can all agree.