Florida Man: 21 Ways in Which He Actually Got Arrested
by Hilton Hater at . Updated at .Simply put, you should beware of Florida Man.
As documented below, males who reside in The Sunshine State have made a habit of getting in trouble with the law in ridiculous, over-the-top, often impossible-to-believe ways.
Such as what, you may be wondering?
Such as these 100% real examples. We're not kidding. These are real.
1. You Shouldn't Inject Heroin Anywhere...
... but especially not here.
2. Isn't It Ironic?
No? It's just insane and dangerous? Oh, right.
3. Rectum?
He nearly killed 'em with every detail in this story!
4. If This Isn't an Emergency, What Is?
Seriously. We're talking PBR here, folks.
5. Say My Name!
I said MY name!
6. What, I Just Wanted Some Pussy?
To sit next to me, that is.
7. This Qualifies as a Florida MAN
He can't fool us!
8. Even He Looks Confused By His Actions
Maybe she was cramping up?
9. This is What Happens When Cats Aren't Allowed in Strip Clubs
It's a real problem.
10. Those Online Porn Stars Aren't Gonna Show Them Any Affection
So somebody has to.
11. It Was Consensual!
Pets are all very horny in Florida, apparently.
12. But Was the Taco Forged?
Well... was it?!?
13. ALLEGED Goat Rapes
Let's not jump to any conclusions here.
14. The Macroni AND the Cheese, Mind You!
This wouldn't have happened if just one of the items had gone missing.
15. ROFL
Come on. Can't a felon get a courtesy laugh?
16. Hey, At Least I Didn't Make Other Waitresses Touch It
Right?!?
17. Sorry, But It Felt Good
Just in general, Walmart + Florida Man is never a healthy equation.
18. So... It's Illegal to Be Lonely?
That's just mean.
19. That Dentist Did Sort of Suck
Consider this Cecil's revenge from The Great Beyond.
20. It Could Have Been Worse
He could have been having sex with the animal at the same time.
21. Again with Walmart
Those stores really should not be allowed in Florida.
22. A Florida Man Walks Into a Bar...
... and then all Hell breaks loose. This isn't a punchline. It just what happens nearly every time a Florida Man walks into a bar.
