Sure, Farrah Abraham is still fired from Teen Mom OG, but that doesn't mean she's about to go gently into the good night of former reality star obscurity.
In fact, she's been on her grind more than ever lately, making tabloid headlines like it's her job ... which we suppose it sort of is.
In the past few weeks, Farrah has been arrested for assault; she's launched feuds with fellow washed-up reality stars, and of course, she's been posting scantily-clad photos to her social media pages.
The girl has a product to sell, and it's herself.
She's banking on people like you wanting to know all about her hopes, dreams, and upcoming porn projects.
And now, it seems she's under the impression that you'll be willing to pay for that privilege:
The Farrah Files
Yes, folks, it's finally here -- the app that puts all others to shame! Take a hike, Google Maps! Beat it, Uber! The official farrah Abraham app is now available for download!
Creativity -- Not Her Strong Suit
Yes, quite lamely, the app is named simply "Farrah Abraham." This might create confusion among fans who wish to purchase Farrah's, um ... other services.
But what Farrah lacks in innovation, she makes up for with shameless self-promotion. Here she is pitching her app to fans as only she can.
For the most part, she's clearly just reading from cue cards here, but there's a weird bit at the end about how much she likes "the outdoors and summer." Anyway, it might be the least nonsensical she's ever been.
A Heaping Helping of Word Salad
And of course, no Farrah post would be complete without a massive block of emoji-laden text as a caption. "I’m freakin out my first app launched today at the @apple store," Farrah wrote, adding that she's hoping to take a break Instagram and Twitter for the foreseeable future.
Farrah For Sale!
"So happy I have my own app now & can have a break from social media! Enter to win a LA trip to join me for my App launch pool party!" Abraham wrote. Yes, Farrah wants to invite one lucky fan to bang ... sorry, we mean HANG with her in Los Angeles.
Wait! There's more Farrah Abraham to Fans: Buy My App & I Might Hang Out With You Losers!! Just click "Next" below: