90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 4, Episode 11 bears the title “The Tongue Has No Bone.”
Much like the title, the episode itself was a lot.
Some couples received bad news. Some underwent tests that could make or break their relationships.
Others clashed in ways that may underscore underlying incompatibility.
Take a look at our recap below:
Daniele Gates and Yohan Geronimo
Things have been tense over the past week, Daniele explains. But now, it’s Yohan’s birthday. She has a ritual in mind to invite peace into their household.
Daniele’s ritual involves gently kicking a coconut around the home
At first, Yohan does not know what she is doing. Daniele does not rush to explain. The two have very different religious beliefs. However, Yohan seems interested, and even participates.
Why?
Yohan explains to the camera that he thought that it was funny. Also, he just wanted to help kick a little coconut around.
Daniele has big plans for Yohan’s birthday
In recent years, a number of men have used the term “Karen” to launch misogynist attacks against women in general, rather than to call out obnoxious customer behavior. So we will not say that Daniele was a “Karen” while expressing her dismay that the bakery where she stopped for a last-minute cake order could not write on the cake on the spot. (Even in the US, you should really order in advance, especially if you want custom writing. Not everyone behind the counter is proficient at writing in frosting)
Victory?
Eventually, Daniele writes on the cake herself. Which she could have avoided if she had ordered the cake in advance.
Surprise!
Daniele takes Yohan to the beach for his birthday, but it’s actually a surprise party. She planned everything.
Yohan’s whole family is there
Apparently, this is a first for Yohan. Oh, that’s a little sad.
Yohan gets up and thanks everyone
Well … sort of. Yohan thanks his family for attending his birthday bash (that his wife threw). He also thanks God for another year of life. And then he thanks God for “the surprise.” Isn’t he forgetting someone?
“Thanks to your wife, Daniele!”
Guillermo, Yohan’s father, calls out for him to thank his wife for putting all of this together. Yohan’s reply? “I already thanked her.” It’s just … deeply weird, even if you don’t know that he hasn’t really done that.
Daniele quietly excuses herself
There is no subtle way to get up from the table where your husband just publicly snubbed you. However, it’s still less disruptive than sitting there and crying.
Later, Yohan does go outside to check on her
Obviously, Daniele is not feeling very happy. She calmly expresses to him how unappreciated she feels. Clearly, this extends beyond this birthday dinner, but that was humiliating all on its own.
Yohan’s reply?
He says that she ruined his birthday — before it even began. How? By (gasp!) having friends. One friend in particular.
He’s STILL on about this?
Yohan is still fixating on Daniele’s friend, whom she used to date, who will be in the country. It’s not like she wants to sneak off and bone the guy. She loves Yohan, but she’d like to meet up with her friend and say hello, and she has invited Yohan to meet him, too. There are cultural differences at play, but him being a huge jerk to her about it is a personal choice on his part.
Daniele cannot help but cry
Initially, she plans to go sit down with his family. But as his seething contempt for her becomes apparent, Daniele grows heartbroken. And frankly, she’s crying too much to enjoy the party.
Daniele heads home
She has to reconsider her life choices. Meanwhile, Yohan celebrates with his family (whom she invited) at the party (that she planned) with the cake (that she decorated). Hard to watch.
Debbie Aguero and Oussama
In Morocco, Debbie is closely supervising Oussama as he packs her luggage into the car. The two of them are about to take a long drive to see his family. Debbie will be meeting them for the first time.
Oussama says that there is nothing to worry about
He reassures Debbie that they know who she is — so they’re not expecting a fellow Moroccan or someone age-appropriate. In his mind, Debbie needs to just be herself and she will charm them as she has him (and viewers!)
But Debbie is hung up on something
How will they view her and her “age gap” with Oussama? She is 67 years old, while he is only 24. Debbie worries that they see her as a predatory old American woman who plans to scoop him up in her talons and take him away. Oussama says that his family is happy for him.
Oh, but Oussama hasn’t told them that she’s moved to Morocco
He is leaving that to her. Debbie feels a little blindsided. Oussama also admits, to the camera but not to Debbie, that he is also nervous about whether they will fully accept Debbie. To her face, though, he tells her that all that she needs is a positive attitude and a smile.
Debbie meets the fam
Oussama’s sister, Asmaa immediately gives her a welcoming hug. Asmaa seems to have much less of a language barrier than the parents.
Oussama’s folks seem nice!
His mom doesn’t talk much (he had already told Debbie this). And it’s a fundamentally awkward situation. The cameras being there compound all of that. But they’re polite, and they listen as Oussama translates for Debbie.
The age gap is no issue
At least, not for Oussama’s dad. He assures them that things like mutual respect and compatibility matter much more than age.
Speaking of age … how old is Debbie’s future father-in-law?
It turns out that he is 68. Just one year older than Debbie. She feels relieved that she’s not older than he is.
Gabriel Paboga and Isabel Posada
In a flashback scene, we see Isabel announce her engagement to her parents. Her father expresses his joy. Her mom likes Gabe, but worries that it’s too soon. She still supports Isabel and her marriage.
Now that they’re engaged, it’s time to get serious about wedding planning
Gabe has less than a month before he has to leave Colombia. Unless, of course, he marries Isabel. Together, they visit an attorney for some legal advice on how to navigate this. The good news is that, with all of the right documentation, he could get a marriage license (or otherwise approval to marry) in as little as a week.
Gabriel has to come out as trans to explain his situation
He explains that most of his documents — including his state ID from Florida and his passport — all accurately reflect his gender. However, his birth certificate still has an “F.” Fixing that could take months. Obviously, when Gabriel first transitioned, he didn’t imagine that he would one day need a birth certificate in order to marry a Colombian woman. Life is funny that way.
So yes, it’s a delay
But the attorney says that all of this is doable. The downside is that it will take time, which will of course be painful for the newly engaged couple.
Isabel is pretty crushed
She worries that Gabe was irresponsible for not having this piece of documentation. (Admittedly, some research on his part might have helped. He could have gotten a new, revised birth certificate before coming to Colombia). Mostly, she’s just sorry that he’s going to have to go back to Florida — for months.
This puts a number of plans on hold
They had been looking for a larger home, now that Gabriel will be living there full time. That will have to wait. Meanwhile, Isabel clearly feels a little insecure over Gabe’s family not knowing about the engagement yet.
It’s a tearful goodbye
They kiss farewell at the airport. Gabriel will return when he can … but this time apart will be difficult. As we have seen with other couples this season, relationship problems can worsen when people are away from each other.
Jen Boecher and Rishi Singh
Remember last week’s episode, when Jen confronted Rishi about sending his shirtless thirst trap to her friend? Well, that conversation is still happening.
Rishi doesn’t take any of this seriously
He says that it was a publicly available photo, even though he also DMed it to Randi. In his mind, that makes it totally aboveboard. But … even if something is public, DMing it to someone means something, right? Also, he sent her a picture of a bunch of flowers. What was that about?
Rishi thinks of it all as a prank. What?
According to Rishi, when he realized that the woman messaging him was a friend of Jen’s, he assumed that it was a prank. So he pranked her back. Is flirting with someone, making tentative plans to meet, and then blocking someone a “prank?”
Jen is struggling with it
Rishi’s answer doesn’t really make sense, and it doesn’t look like he’s taking her concerns seriously. Her worries grow when he admits that he gets attention like this all of the time.
Rishi grabs his phone to reassure Jen
Of course, it’s all in Hindi. That doesn’t really help. Maybe Rishi is being transparent … or maybe it’s an ingenious bluff, one that he’s making with the knowledge that she can’t read the difference between business DMs and straight-up sexting?
Has he told his family about her?
No. But, thanks to his astrologer friend, he knows the best time to approach them about it. It happens to be months away. August 2, at 4 PM precisely. He is not the first cast member whom we have seen turn their life upside down to abide by the supposed will of the stars.
Randi and Myra come to visit!
This is the farthest that they have traveled, but not the first time that they have left the country just for Jen. They like her apartment, though her bathroom is also a shower (like Nicole’s setup in Egypt), so Randi and Myra liken the situation to “glamping.”
Jen brings them both up to speed
She admits that she confronted Rishi. Myra had guessed that she would not, so that’s a pleasant surprise. Jen also details the astrology-based delay in telling his family, and shares his excuses for his online flirtation with Randi.
The four of them meet for a meal
Rishi repeats all of the same excuses that he used before. Hey, at least he’s consistent. Just speaking as someone who is Terminally Online, sometimes you do DM a link to something from a public post, and it’s different from DMing something unique. But a thirst trap? Like, a thirst trap of yourself? There’s only one reason to DM that to someone who isn’t a talent agent, and it’s to trap someone with thirst.
Randi and Myra ask some very smart questions
They know about Jen learning that Rishi’s family is searching for a wife for him. They ask about the timeline of all of that. Rishi says he didn’t know about the search until recently, and that they are no longer actively searching.
But then Rishi slips up
He accidentally reveals that he actually met a few of these prospective wives — during his engagement to Jen. Everyone quickly points out that he cannot have been unaware of the search for a wife if his family was introducing them to him. Jen feels embarrassed and hurt.
She walks off
It’s one thing to have Rishi lie to her and then scramble to cover what he said. It’s another when he does it in front of her friends. She can’t put a spin on that. Not to them, and not to herself.
Kris Foster and Jeymi Noguera
Remember when Kris reluctantly went home to Alabama? She had to deal with her bank, and she needed to pick up her narcolepsy medication (not available in Colombia). Well, through a series of events, Kris hasn’t just been there for two weeks, but for three months. She hasn’t forgotten about Jeymi — she is working any job that she can, and sending money to her wife.
Sadly, poor Jeymi has been sick
A year or so earlier, Jeymi became so deathly ill with COVID-19 that she would not have survived without hospitalization. It was part of the impetus behind them moving forward with an engagement. Now, she has COVID again. Jeymi is not on a ventilator this time, but it’s scary.
So why isn’t Kris there with her?
Well … someone has to work. Jeymi had taken time off when Kris came to visit. Kris explains that Jeymi’s boss abruptly called her and demanded that she return to work. Jeymi quit (with Kris’ blessing) but, even with Kris covering the bills, would need to look for another job. Unfortunately, that has not really happened yet.
They miss each other … but there are some bitter feelings involved
Kris reminds Jeymi that she is in Alabama because she can work there. (As we have seen on past seasons, Americans need special documentation to work in Colombia, just as a Colombian would need in America). In Alabama, she has picked up any job that she can find — even simple things, like painting houses — to make money to support their life together.
Jeymi isn’t seeing this as a positive
To her, it looks like Kris is prioritizing making money over their marriage. She feels abandoned.
And there’s another thing
Jeymi complains that Kris has not been answering her calls enough, or calling her back enough. She says at one point that Kris has only called her three times, though Kris counters that this is untrue.
Simply put, they’re both sad
Jeymi feels abandoned. Kris feels unappreciated for being their sole breadwinner. It absolutely sucks for both of them, and neither of them seem to be quite ready to bridge the gap.
Kris excuses herself from the conversation
Leaving her laptop open, she walks inside, wiping away tears. She and Jeymi clearly love each other, but they’re also hurting each other. There is room for compromise here … but can they figure that out in time to save their marriage?