Well, folks, it’s official — literally everybody has a podcast.
Earlier this week, Chris Lopez — Kailyn Lowry’s third and most elusive baby daddy — debuted the first episode of his new ‘cast Everybody Hates Lop.
The guy used to make MTV blur his face to protect his anonymity, and now he’s podcasting.
That’s progress, we suppose.
Anyway, in his first installment, Chris opened up about his feelings toward Kail and said what we’re all thinking about the Teen Mom franchise.
The whole thing was — surprisingly insightful?
Take a look for yourself and see what we mean:
Lop and Lux
Chris, as you probably know, is the father of Kail’s youngest son, Lux.
Invisible Dad
For years, Chris was a ghost as far as Teen Mom 2 viewers were concerned. He refused to appear on the show without having his face blurred.
Out of the Shadows
In recent weeks, Chris has emerged from hiding. First, he appeared on an episode of Teen Mom 2, and now, he’s launched a podcast.
Not a Natural
Chris isn’t exactly a born broadcaster, and many listeners complained about his tendency to mumble, but The Ashley’s Reality Roundup took one for the team and “translated” the most interesting portions of his debut episode.
Not a Fan
Speaking bluntly about the show that made him famous, Chris expressed a viewpoint shared by many viewers — namely, that Teen Mom 2 lost the plot.
He’s Got Demands
“I honestly just don’t want to be on, especially that show. Gimme my own show,†he said.
He Speaks the Truth
“Don’t put me on a show that don’t even follow the purpose of what that show is for. That’s not to knock them but it’s just true,” Lopez continued.
Defeating the Purpose
“Y’all are supposed to be promoting safe sex and sh-t like that but, no offense, kid after kid is poppin’ out! That’s no shock,” Chris pointed out.
Lux Life
I’ve got a beautiful son out of the situation but…what’s the point of this sh-t?” Lopez wondered. “Drama and storylines…people don’t want to be associated with that sh-t. Maybe other people do.â€Â
Our Thoughts
Well, we probably don’t need to tell you that a lot of people are interested in “drama and storylines,” or that Chris probably won’t be getting his own show anytime soon — especially with the way he mumbles.
Tricked By MTV?!
“I basically made my first official appearance on that show. But it was not something I agreed on,†Chris continued. “I want to make that clear. I made it on the show, or whatever, but it wasn’t something that I wanted to be a part of or something that I signed off on
Loophole Finders
“They found a loophole,” Lopez said. “They was thirsty, and when you’re thirsty enough or hungry enough, you’re gonna do what you’ve got to do to get it.
Backfire
“I’m not mad, because, you feel me, they caught me. I was [attending Kail’s event] out of love and support so I’m not mad about that,†he continued.
Lured Into a Trap
“But I ain’t gonna lie; if you had told me, ‘They can film you and they can unblur your face,’ not gonna lie, I might not have shown up,” he added. “No disrespect, but I’m just trying to let people know that I just don’t want no part [of the show].â€Â
Tricky, Tricky
Chris says producers informed him that they were under no obligation to blur his face because Kail’s launch party was a “public event.”
Quibbling Over Semantics
“My head is a bit confused because it’s like, y’all have been blurring my face out for two years and now all of a sudden you can randomly unblur me,†he said. “They say it’s a public event and that’s why you can unblur my face. To me, how was it public? They said it’s a ‘public’ event.
First and Last Appearance?
As for the possibility that he’ll appear on the show again, Chris had this to say: “For future reference, for everyone saying ‘He’s going to be on it now,’ I ain’t gonna be on that sh-t no more!†he said. “I’m trying to make sure they can’t even get me on there with my face blurred! I’m over it. That’s all I’m gonna say. I’m trying to move on from the situation…I want that sh-t to be dead.â€Â
He Sounds Serious
“I will always be bound, tied into it because I’ve got a child with that person and that’s their life, but understand, that’s not mine,†he said. “I don’t want that. Just because that’s their life, doesn’t mean that’s got to be mine.”
Can’t Be Bought
“Not all money is good money, people!†Chris continued. “I have touched money in my life. I might not have touched that much money in my life but I was never really pressed for money. I get money regardless. I ain’t gotta sign my soul away.
He May Have a Point
Chris went on to confirm that he was paid for his appearance, saying, “That check was some bullsh-t. I could probably sell articles to magazines and sh-t and make more money what they were about to offer me. I could probably do like to interviews with Radar Online or something and make the money that Teen Mom was about to offer me.â€Â
Unsigned Hype
Lopez claims he refused to sign a contract, however, adding, “That sh-t was weak, and I still got their contract. That’s what is so funny to me. Unsigned. And I’m like, ‘Damn these n-ggas got me on TV and sh-t,’†he said.
Throwing Shade?
Chris then turned his attention to Kail. “That’s what I mean about public figures — or whatever they call themselves these days — famous people, TV people, when you associate yourself with that type of people, people like that, that’s in the entertainment business, I don’t think that they realize that the sh-t that they do affects not only them but the people involved with them,†he said.
Embarrassed By Kail?
“If it embarrasses you, what makes you think that the people that you deal with aren’t going to be embarrassed for it?†he continued in his rant about his baby mama. “If you do something embarrassing and your people don’t check you, then those aren’t really your people. If you’ve got a bunch of ‘yes men’ in your corner, that’s not good for you. You need some people that’s going to check you and tell you you’re f**king up.â€Â
Dreams Dashed
Kail has repeatedly said she’d like to have another kid with Chris — but it seems he doesn’t feel the same.
All Set For Now
“I don’t want no more kids right now, I’m good,†Chris said. “I’m just going to focus on mine. I’m honestly just focused on my one kid I’ve got right now. I just want to enjoy that.”
Just Ask Lux
“Maybe later down the line, hopefully when my son can talk and can give me some feedback, he can actually tell me if he wants another sibling or something,” Lopez continued. “For now, I think I’m just going to focus on him, and maybe becoming a better dad.”
Single and Loving It
Chris then confirmed he’s no longer dating Kail, saying, “My relationship status, I’m single and it’s weird…being single is weird as sh-t right now. For the first time in a long time I’m like ‘single single.’ I ain’t got nobody. That sh-t get lonely and sh-t. But I’m trying to figure my sh-t out.â€Â
Sounds Like SOMEONE Isn’t Happy About That
“Don’t pressure me,†he added, referring to a mystery person who very much wants to get him into a relationship. “Don’t put no timetable on me. Pressuring me into doing sh-t. I don’t work well when people try to boss me around and tell me what to do. Do your thing and I’ll do my thing and leave me the f-ck alone.†The guy certainly knows how to send a message.