Forget whether or not they had kids… or starred in movies together… or, heck, even stayed together.
When it comes to famous people dating, only one thing really matters:
What was the nickname given to this celebrity couple and how did it compare to nicknames given to other celebrity couples?
That’s right: it’s time for the definitive rankings of celebrity couple nicknames! Are you ready, Speidi? Are you prepared, Kimye? Where do you stand, Brangelina?
Let’s do this…
MIAM
Just terrible. We understand that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth require a nickname, but this one seems forced.
SPEDERLINE
Nearly as awful as the actual pairing of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.
POSH and BECKS
This one should barely even count. But we understand why folks have felt a need to incorporate Victoria Beckham’s Spice Girl name into her relationship.
ROBSTEN
Sorry, did we just break your heart all over again by bringing Robert and Kristen up, Twihards? That wasn’t our attention. The lack of a strong nickname may have been why these two didn’t make it.
ZANESSA
We’re going old school for these former High School Musical co-stars and ex-lovers. The nickname never really rolled off the tongue and we’re pretty sure the relationship was a Disney-driven PR move.
KHLOMAR
We tried to push “Lhloe” back in the day, but it never caught on for some reason when it came to Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom.
GYLLENSPOON
Yes, some people referred to Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon by this name, okay?!? It’s totally ridiculous and that’s why we love it.
SHEFANI
Not nearly as popular as it should be. Perhaps will catch on more after Blake and Gwen get married.
BILLARY
They may not be as powerful as they hoped they would be right about now, but Bill and Hillary Clinton will always have a strong nickname.
SPEIDI
You may have forgotten that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag were ever even together, but dig this: they are STILL together! Our Speidi senses did not see that coming back during The Hills days.
KIMYE
The idea of nicknaming couples has sadly died down a bit in recent years, but Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have proven their staying power via one of the newest and most powerful names in memory. Kimye. What else needs to be said?
BRADYBUNDCH
We sort of made this one up. But how amazing is it?!? It requires people to actually know Gisele’s last name, but it’s worth teaching that in elementary schools around the country if it helps “BradyBunDch” catch on.
JELENA
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez will get married. You read it here first. Long live Jelena.
HIDDLESWIFT
We’re not exactly surprised that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston did not last as a couple. We’re just sad because… come on… Hiddleswift!
TOMKAT
How is this for irony: One of the most unnatural couples of all-time had one of the most natural nicknames of all-time. Weird.
GI JOE
You didn’t expect to see this one ranked so high, did you? But we can only assume Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid got together strictly based on the awesomeness of this nickname.
BENNIFER
Ben Affleck first earned this nickname back when he dated Jennifer Lopez.
BENNIFER 2.0
But then he earned it again when he married Jennifer Garner! What a feat.
BRANGELINA
What else, right?!? May the couple rest in peace.