Amber Portwood: Eff Bein' a Mom ... This Girl's Gotta Have FUN!

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It's been two months since Amber Portwood was arrested on domestic violence charges after allegedly attacking her boyfriend, Andrew Glennon, while he was holding the couple's 1-year-old son.

By now, you probably know the details of the case:

Andrew says Amber came after him with a machete and threw a shoe at him - all because they were running late for a Fourth of July fireworks display.

In the months since, he's been telling his story and keeping his head down.

Amber, of course, has a long history of violent and erratic behavior.

And yet, for reasons that absolutely boggle the mind, there are many who still believe Glennon is making the whole thing up.

Take a look:

1. A Happier Time

A Happier Time
Amber and Andrew's relationship was always a tumultuous one and moved very fast. But there was a time when both parties seemed committed to making it work, if only for baby James.

2. A Horrifying Situation

A Horrifying Situation
The couple has been living separately since July, when Amber allegedly attacked Andrew numerous times -- once with a large knife, and once while he was holding the couple's 1-year-old son.

3. Amber On the Outs

Amber On the Outs
A judge has ordered Portwood to keep her distance from Glennon, and she has been permitted to see her son only during supervised visits.

4. A History of Violence

A History of Violence
Of course, this is not the first time that Amber's violent tendencies have landed her in trouble with the law.

5. Gary Shirley's War

Gary Shirley's War
Amber has been accused of attacking Gary Shirley on several occasions and has confessed to being the instigator in a handful of incidents.

6. When Loyalty Goes Too Far

When Loyalty Goes Too Far
Despite all of that, she continues to receive an outpouring of support from her colleagues and fans, many of whom refuse to believe anything negative about their hero and have convinced themselves that Andrew is lying about the whole incident.

7. Andrew Defends Himself

Andrew Defends Himself
So here we are. Although he already defended himself against Amber's (alleged) attack, Andrew is now being forced to defend himself against Portwood-supporting trolls online.

8. Manipulated?

Yes, believe it or not, Andrew is being accused of "manipulating" Amber by taking advantage of her fragile mental state following her breakup from her previous long-term boyfriend/fiance, Matt Baier. Unreal.

9. "Stick With Her"

"Stick With Her"
Abuse victims generally aren't told that it's their job to stand by their accusers and "fix" them. But for some reason, that's exactly the sort of feedback that Andrew gets.

10. Not-So-Teen Mom

Not-So-Teen Mom
In a since-deleted thread, Andrew responded to criticism by revealing that Amber frequently states that her life with James was "not the life she wanted," as she believes she should be partying and "having fun" due to the fact that she's only 29 years old.

11. Differing Viewpoints

Differing Viewpoints
Glennon stated that he does not feel the same way, and that unlike the mother of his child, he considers James to be "the greatest source of joy" in his life.

12. Stating the Obvious

Stating the Obvious
“Amber needs help,” a concerned Andrew Glennon recently told Us Weekly, saying what we're all thinking. “The sooner she acknowledges that, the healthier and happier she will be.”

13. A Troubling Pattern

A Troubling Pattern
“[She is] grasping for any forgivable explanation to her own actions when there was none,” he continued. “Just like it has been in past incidents.”

14. A Dangerous Double Standard

A Dangerous Double Standard
Despite the fact that Andrew has done everything right in his handling of the situation, he continues to be attacked online and in the media, as celebrity gossip tabloids like In Touch allow anonymous sources to defend Amber without ever being held accountable for their comments.

15. Amber's Defense

Amber's Defense
“Andrew seems more concerned with public perception,” an insider (who's very likely Amber Portwood herself or someone very close to the reality star) tells the tabloid.

16. Is He ... Not Allowed to Do That?

Is He ... Not Allowed to Do That?
“Andrew took James for a haircut and has posted many pictures of James," the source adds. "Andrew is rubbing it in Amber’s face that she can’t be with her son."

17. Slight Imbalance

Slight Imbalance
Yes, these alleged Portwood supporters are defending her for an assault with a machete - and attacking Andrew for posting photos of his son's haircut. Seems like a false equivalency to us.

18. Really?!

Elsewhere in the utterly ridiculous and borderline shameful In Touch piece, the Amber supporter justifies her violent assault by claiming that “he was saying a lot of nasty things to her.”

19. Pure Insanity

Pure Insanity
Last we checked, "nasty" comments - if they even occurred - aren't enough to justify a stabbing. We'll have more on this increasingly bonkers story as additional information becomes available.

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Amber Portwood Biography

Amber and Leah (Teen Mom)
Amber Portwood is a star on MTV's Teen Mom. She is the mother of Leah Leann Shirley, whose father is Gary Shirley, Amber's on-off fiance... More »
Anderson, Indiana
Full Name
Amber Portwood