When we first learned that Amber Portwood is dating a man from Belgium, we feared for the guy’s future.
After all, it was just a few months ago that Amber beat domestic violence charges that could have landed her behind bars.
Fortunately, when Amber met Dimitri Garcia at the airport on Tuesday’s episode of Teen Mom OG, he was protected in two respects:
Amber’s OG baby daddy, Gary Shirley, was there in case Portwood flew into one of her infamous rages and beat the guy down on sight.
And he also provided the happy couple with some It’s Gary Time! condoms for later in the evening.
It was a strange scene, but then, just about everything in Amber’s life is a little off-kilter these days.
Take a look:
An International Affair
On Tuesday’s episode of Teen Mom OG, Amber Portwood finally came face-to-face with Dimitri Garcia, the Belgian man she met online.
It’s Gary Time!
And the uncomfortable scene was made even more awkward by the presence of Amber’s ex, Gary Shirley.
Big Night
“Dimitri is arriving tonight and I’m excited because I really like him and I want to see where things can go,” Amber said in a voice-over.
Anxious Amber
“But I’m also nervous, so I’m having Gary come with me to the airport to pick him up,” she added.
It Gets Weirder
Before taking Amber to the airport, Gary explained the unusual arrangement to his wife, Kristina, who encouraged him to talk to Amber about birth control options.
Gary Explains
“So Amber asked me if I’d go to the airport with her to pick up Dimitri, just because she’s still getting to know him,” he said. “And plus, she doesn’t want to get seen by people with somebody right now.”
Learning From Experience
The birth control situation might sound like an odd thing to discuss — and it definitely is — but as Gary pointed out, Amber got pregnant with weeks of meeting her previous boyfriend, Andrew Glennon.
Wrap It Up
“I’ll tell her to wrap it, but I don’t know if it’s going to work,” Gary said … jokingly, we hope.
Yes, These Really Exist
Fortunately, Kristina had a solution — she suggested that Gary deliver some condoms from his It’s Gary Time! line to Amber and Dimitri.
Yikes
“So, what are you and Dimitri going to do tonight besides speaking love language?” Gary awkwardly asked Amber on the ride to the airport.
Long-Distance No More!
Amber responded that she and Dimitri are planning to “cuddle” and “find a movie with French subtitles,” but Gary knew what she really had in mind!
The Talk
“Are you doing anything to not get pregnant?” he asked, as though the scene weren’t uncomfortable enough already.
For Once, We’re On Her Page
“Oh my God,” Amber muttered. She then grudgingly admitted that she’s “going to need a couple of ‘Gary Times.’”
Welcome to America!
For reasons that aren’t entirely clear, it was Gary who went and met Dimitri when they finally arrived at the airport.
A Mutual Understanding
“You guys look so cute together,” Gary told Amber and Dimitri, who excitedly reported that he understood what was said.
The Moment of Truth
And with that, Gary presented his baby mama and her new man with his signature brand of condom.
Gary Time Is Over
As several viewers pointed out on Twitter, the Gary Time line was introduced in 2015 and was promptly discontinued.
Not Worth the Risk
The average shelf-life of a condom is only 3 to 5 years, so hopefully, Amber and Dimitri didn’t actually put them to use.
Just a Bad Idea All-Around
Of course, that’s just one of many reasons we hope Amber didn’t hand poor Dimitri a condom with Gary Shirley’s face on it in the heat of passion.
Rave Reviews
“I like the guy. Leah said she had a good time,” Gary later reported to Kristina about Dimitri’s visit.
Understandably Cautious
“If Amber can keep one thing in mind, that her kids come first, and if Dimitri can accept that, good,” Kristina replied, somewhat ominously.
Making It Work
“I want to keep doing things like that with Leah, and you have to be comfortable with it too, and make sure that Leah and everybody else is comfortable,” Amber told Dimitri on the topic of incorporating Leah into their relationship.
An Update
As for Gary and Dimitri’s status these days, Portwood recently told People magazine that she and her Belgian beau are “still talking.”
Going Viral
“He’s in Belgium. The coronavirus is obviously a big reason [we can’t see each other], and that’s okay because a lot of couples at the moment who are still in the same state have to do this,” she added.
Round Two
But it sounds like the moment the pandemic begins to subside, Amber and Dimitri will be ready for more Gary Time! Or something …