TLC is gradually being dominated by a single franchise and we couldn't be happier.
Now that 90 Day Fiance has returned for Season 7, the premiere is already telling us more about the couples than the trailers ever did.
A lot of viewers already have a favorite couple, and for once, it's the pair with a massive gap in both age and finances.
The premiere featured lingerie, a sex toy shop, and a couple who bonded over a shared love of beekeeping.
Take a look at the premiere highlights below in our recap, and brace yourself for the rest of the season.
It's only going to get more dramatic from here!
Anna and Mursel!
First of all, something that we did not know from the trailers is that they have a shared love of bees and beekeeping. This isn't just a quirk -- it's how they met on social media (specifically, Facebook, because they're a little bit old).
They are clearly in love
Despite some obstacles, which we will get to in a moment, it's obvious how much they care about each other. Unfortunately, love alone isn't enough, and this could lead to mutual heartbreak.
First up: the language barrier
90 Day Fiance viewers had flashbacks to Paul and Karine as they watched these two use translation apps to communicate. (But hey, Paul and Karine have more or less worked out, for better or for worse). There's that, plus Mursel's religious aversion to drinking, but it sounds like Anna will take that over the dick pics that she kept seeing while trying to date American guys in Nebraska.
But here's their big problem
Mursel's conservative family back in Turkey would not be okay with Anna already having children. He wants to keep this a secret from them. Of course, he's on reality television, so we'd like to understand why they chose to air their story under the circumstances. Maybe it was for Mursel to give himself a countdown clock until they find out anyway.
Blake and Jasmin
For these two, we're going to have to wait until the next episode to offer some highlights. 90 Day Fiance does like to juggle which couples are covered in each episode.
Emily and Sasha
90 Day Fiance Season 7 introduces Emily, a 28-year-old from Oregon, and Sasha, a 31-year-old from Russia.
There's a lot of thirst going on
One of the earliest highlights of the episode is during a quasi-montage when Emily is just openly thirsting after Sasha, who seems to be perpetually working out.
It's no mystery how she got pregnant
Emily and Sasha have a baby on the way! In the past, that has been a pretty good indicator of which couples are more likely to stick together (even if they should not) on 90 Day Fiance.
But ... this is not Sasha's first baby
As we already knew from some of the teasers that have come out, Sasha has two other children with two other baby mamas, and it appears that he moves on more or less right away. But Emily is just SUPER sure that this time will be totally different.
Red flags abound
This season premiere doesn't even show us some of what we'll see later, as Sasha's first ex tries to explain Sasha's patterns to Emily. That drama will come later.
Michael and Juliana
Michael is the first to acknowledge that he's much older than Juliana, who was born in 1996.
She was born in 1996
Michael explains that the two met on a "star-studded" yacht during a yacht party, which can be totally aboveboard or super sleazy. It sounds like this one was somewhere in between. Juliana was only 20 at the time, so they presumably met in 2016.
Love at first sight?
Michael says that he doesn't believe in that, but that there was an immediate attraction and they've found that they're super compatible. He tried to bring Juliana over on just a regular visitor's visa, but she was denied, so now he's bringing her over with a K-1 visa.
Juliana was asked during her visa interview if she had engaged in sex workduring the past decade (going back to when she was 13!), which clearly upset her. (Also, as a society we have to stop using the word "prostitute;" just say sex worker or full service sex worker). Michael commented on how absurd the question was.
On the plus side ...
One, Michael gave Juliana unlimited access to his credit cards, which sounds like he's not a controlling jerk (we've seen partners use money to control their spouse by denying them access to funds, and that's called financial abuse). Overall, a lot of viewers agree that these two are one of this season's most interesting couples.
Mike and Natalie
Another couple -- and we just want to remind you all that they exist. No highlights for them in the premiere. To be fair, there are a lot of couples this season.
Robert and Anny
Oh boy. So, Robert is so excited to tell the cameras about how he proposed to Anny after months of online chatting but only 8 hours in her physical preference. In his mind, this is somehow romantic?
And what is Robert doing?
He's buying lingerie in anticipation of Anny's arrival. He wants everything to be perfect. He proposed without a ring while visiting her, so now, he plans to recreate his proposal ... but with a ring. Still on the beach, though.
Guess who ruins the mood?
Robert is gushing about how much he loves Anny when she sends him an impatient demand for a money transfer. Oh boy. Every season needs at least one gold digger ... apparently.
Does Robert have what it takes?
It's not clear that Robert is actually affluent enough to keep someone like Anny happy. He's faced eviction more than once in the past several years. Wouldn't it be weird if rich guy Michael has a woman who genuinely loves him while Robert is overextending himself for a woman who just wants money that he doesn't have?
Tania and Syngin
Though Sasha and Juliana are both obvious hotties, we'd say that these two are the best-looking couple on Season 7. But that doesn't mean that they're the healthiest.
Tania is very open
She admits to being "wild" and delves into her sexual history, all while spending time in a sex shop. Good for her for owning her sexuality and living her best life, right?
She and Syngin already have problems
After her planned hookup with a guy in South Africa didn't go so well, she went home with a hot bartender -- Syngin -- and spent hte next few months boning him. But now he's balking at her extremely reasonable request that he sign a prenup. (Note: pretty much everyone should get a prenup before they marry)
They got the hell out of South Africa
Spoiler alert but there's a lot of racial tension in South Africa, so they made their escape to the US. But a prenup isn't their only contentious issue, because they have very different ideas about when to start a family.
Angela and Michael
We haven't seen much more than flashes of Angela getting botox this season, but you can bet that we'll see more of her awful nonsense in the next episode. Let's just hope that she doesn't physically attack anyone at THIS Tell All.