After last week’s 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? featured Asuelu’s verbal abuse of Kalani, it was time for consequences.
To the delight of many viewers, Kalani’s father managed to be both righteously furious with his son-in-law yet respectfully restrained in his response.
But Kalani isn’t the only one whose husband is speaking to her in unacceptable ways.
In Moldova, Andrei’s abysmal behavior is worse, not better, in front of his friends and family.
Paul is disappointing both his wife and mother. At the same time, Colt is full on making out in front of his mother.
Larissa just dodged a bullet and is in the mood to date again.
And Tania and Syngin are starting to realize that not being “soulmates” is the least of their problems.
Where is Asuelu?

Kalani sits down with her family, including her dad, for a mouth-watering breakfast (it’s been years since I’ve eaten a breakfast like that). This is when Low, her father, asks where her husband could possibly be. Did he know the answer already? Probably. But any forewarning that he may have gotten from his wife about his son-in-law’s behavior did not make this any less entertaining to watch.
Asuelu went into the room with the baby after coming back

Kalani left in a huff the day before, then sent Kalani multiple FAKE locations for her to pick him up, leaving her driving in circles for his own amusement, before he finally got into the car and came back with her. So it was time to relay his childish clownery to Low.
Kalani tells her dad what’s up

She has tried sorting things out with Asuelu. Some spouses might have lied to their families to make their husband seem nicer than he is, but Kalani knows that the truth is the best option — especially since her mom witnessed all of Asuelu’s abhorrent behavior herself.
In case you need a refresher

The show flashed back to Asuelu calling Kalani a “lying bitch.” By the way, if your spouse ever calls you that in all seriousness, you are 100% justified in divorcing them. Don’t let anyone ever talk to you how Asuelu is speaking to Kalani.
Asuelu couldn’t stop

(Yes he could, but he chose not to) “The sound of your voice is so f–king annoying,” he grunted resentfully at Kalani in the same car as her mother. That is not an acceptable way for one human being to speak to another.
Asuelu insisted that it was fine

“It’s my wife, I can talk to her however I want” … he absolutely cannot.
Low did NOT like what he was hearing

Can you imagine? Hearing that your son-in-law disrespected your daughter AND your wife?
Kolini was there

Kolini is smart and likeable. So is Kalani, but Kolini is a fan-favorite in part because she doesn’t have the baggage of being married to Asuelu.
Low was Big Mad

“I’m starting to get pissed off,” he understated.
Time for some real questions

“Are you going to put up with that s–t?” he asked Kalani. It’s not a rhetorical question.
He’d be happy to help

“Do I need to step in?” Low asked Kalani. That could take a number of forms if Low speaks to Asuelu, Samoan to Samoan. Some of those forms would be worse for Asuelu than others.
Kalani is leery of that

She hopes to resolve things with her husband because, well, a marriage where one spouse is only nice because he’s afraid of his Father-in-Law is a toxic one. He should love and respect his wife or he should be single.
Low wants to help

For the record, as much as we understand how many viewers might find it cathartic to see Asuelu put in his place, we here at THG do not condone domestic violence under any circumstances — and yes, Low getting into a fight with Asuelu would qualify. The correct response to Asuelu no longer respecting Kalani would be divorce.
Fortunately, Low respects HIS wife

He actually pinky swore, on camera, to not escalate things with Asuelu.
That said …

He isn’t going to pummel Asuelu, but he’s also not going to allow anyone to disrespect his wife and daughter. That seems like a good balance.
Meanwhile, Kalani …

Behind the closed door, she asks Asuelu if he can take a break from his game. Folks, she is being SO patient with him — it’s an admirable way to treat your spouse.
“No”

Look, I love video games — who doesn’t? — but Asuelu needs to talk to his wife and engage with his family. At this point, his pouting is childish and absurd. He also owes Kalani a serious apology for the way that he spoke to her.
Then it was time for the party

It’s Oliver’s birthday weekend, and the party starts without Asuelu because he’s a man-baby.
Kolini is there

Once again, as she did for months after Oliver was born, Kolini is stepping up when Asuelu is not around for Oliver. The first time around, we understood — it’s hard to uproot your life and move, not to mention the paperwork involved. This time, there’s no need for a visa or saving up to move to be there for his son. Asuelu just has to stop pouting in his room.
Low DOES speak to Asuelu

He simply tells him that he needs to set aside his current issues and be there for his son. It’s important to Kalani that he be part of Oliver’s party. Clearly, it’s important to Asuelu, too.
Asuelu does engage

But he also complains to the camera that the weekend has been “rough and tough.”
Buddy, you have no idea

Low makes it clear that his threshold for how much BS Asuelu can put his wife and daughter through is very limited. We’ll leave it at that.
As for Kalani

She feels like her marriage is at a crossroads and she is uncertain about the future. It’s heartbreaking for her, really.
On to Tania Maduro

Tania is getting her nails done with a friend. Her lower leg is still in a brace as she recovers from a serious vehicular accident.
Her friend tells it like it is

Tania’s friend acknowledges — to the camera — that Tania seemed to jump into a marriage with Syngin pretty quickly instead of taking her time and learning if they are truly compatible in terms of things like life goals.
Tania explains the latest setback

Syngin applied for a bunch of jobs, interviewed for one job as a bartender … but did not get it. Then, he came home drunk.
Syngin, on the other hand

Tania’s friend may understand the toll that Tania’s injuries are taking on him more than Tania does, because she is (validly!) preoccupied with how it is impacting her. Syngin insists that he is not an alcoholic, but more or less admits to self-medicating with alcohol which is … not great.
They go on a “date”

The date turns into … not an intervention, but a little like a litany of complaints by Syngin. Maybe there were a bunch of good parts about dinner that didn’t make it into the show itself.
“The wedding came so fast”

Expressing a similar sentiment to Tania’s friend, Syngin admits that they went from “wow we met in South Africa and we love boning each other” to “married in the American Northeast” very, very quickly.
But there’s more to it

Syngin came here for Tania, not because he dreamt of coming to America. And he is unhappy.
He’s uncertain about the future

Syngin tells Tania that he’s not sure that a future in America is right for him.
They may have different dreams

Syngin doesn’t want to become a millionaire, he says, he just wants to make enough to buy some property and a house. That’s a pretty common dream, and while that doesn’t seem to be intrinsically linked to whether he’s in South Africa or the US, it sounds like he’s saying that he doesn’t have much ambition and that HER version of an American lifestyle may not be for him.
But also? His feelings are hurt

We could mince words over what Tania meant by soulmate (some people believe that they’re spiritual things but that it doesn’t mean that they’d be perfect spouses or that people who are not soul mates couldn’t be just as happy together, others use the term more casually), but at the end of the day, she hurt his feelings.
Paul and Karine

We see Paul and Karine squabbling like always (seriously, no couple should ever be like this!), and Paul weirdly drape a blanket over Karine while she fees Pierre. Dude, if the cameras need to blur something, they will, stop being so uptight.
Karine has a lot of doubts

She warns that if Paul can’t — for seemingly the first time in his life — get his act together and provide for her, she and Pierre will head back to Brazil.
Paul wants help from his mother

And by “help” he means a loan. As Mary notes, she has given him “loans” in the past that he has never repaid.
They were supposed to have dinner together

Karine wasn’t feeling up to it, so she and PIerre stayed in the hotel room while Paul sat one on one with his mom. If she had known that it was just Paul, she wouldn’t have agreed to dinner — she says this to her son’s face. Mary is interesting — is she treating him like this because he’s such a clownish disaster, or is he a clownish disaster because she has always treated him like this? We wonder if it’s a bit of both.
Paul was not having a nice dinner

Also, was it just us or was the way that he was eating his food super weird? Anyway, he relates how he and Karine had an argument that HE blames on him not having a key to Mary’s house and thus not having been able to let Karine in to use the restroom.
Mary calls BS

That’s not the source of their fight, she says. And she’s right. They have a deeply disagreeable marriage and could fight over anything and everything.
Mary doesn’t fall for it

She does care about her grandbaby and want to help and support him, but she recognizes that Paul seems to be trying to use the baby to get her sympathies — and her money. Of course, she also says something about how when she was young, she didn’t go to her parents for help. To be fair, and we are reluctant to speak in Paul’s defense, the economy is a dystopian nightmare right now and she grew up under very different realities when it comes to jobs and things like that.
Paul tries to win over Karine … at Walmart?

He hopes that seeing a big supermarket store will awe Karine. She may not be from the fanciest parts of Brazil, but she’s been inside a store before. Paul’s attempt to win her over this way sounds like a gag from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. He at least talks to her about the value of buying in bulk, which is generally considered “very American” but it’s common sense — buying in bulk saves money and usually saves on packaging, too.
Paul is so weird

At one point he starts listing types of menstrual products like Bubba Gump listing types of shrimp. Karine cannot help but be embarrassed by his clownery.
House-hunting is worse

She is unimpressed by the wreck of a “fixer upper” home that he shows her (it just looks like debris) and also by an RV. She wants, you know, to live in a house like a person and not like a raccoon. Karine tells him that he’s not a good husband.
On to Larissa

Larissa ended last week’s episode absolutely terrified that her time in America was about to end.
She doesn’t have a green card

So when she got a call from immigration to appear, she knew that it could be anything from paperwork to immediate deportation.
Two hours later …

She was free! She had provided her photo and fingerprints but, for the moment, she’s okay. Larissa admits that she is frightened of being deported and is afraid of police. Notably, police in many areas are not assisting ICE in any way because it makes it impossible to support many communities if they fear that police interactions could lead to deportation.
But she’s okay!

For now, anyway, Larissa is okay, and she tells her friend as much.
However

Some people enjoy being single. Larissa, however, does not. She misses being in a relationship, so she calls up her ex, Eric Nichols.
They go on a date

Now, on September 11 (we know) of 2019, Larissa broke up with Eric via text message. After that, she received some weird calls from a woman who was harassing her and claiming to be Eric’s new lover. They have since made peace and put that behind them.
Larissa felt that Eric was a little cheap with her when they were dating

She tells him that it is time to “let the money flow” as they get back together. He asks what in the world she would like for him to spend his money on.
“My boobs”

As Larissa tells Eric that she thinks that he should pay for her to undergo a boob job, his expression is all of us right now. Larissa is … a very distinct person and sometimes difficult to understand.
Onto Colt Johnson and his new woman

Colt is packing for Brazil, and so is Debbie — after inviting herself along. Colt jokingly suggests that Debbie should pack a two-piece to go swimming. We get it, this is their brand of mother-son humor, but WOW does it get awkward for the viewers at home.
Some eu de Coltee

Colt sprays himself as he prepares for an international flight — Debbie’s first trip out of the country.
Debbie will be watching this romance like a hawk

She says that Colt was “making excuses for” Larissa throughout his 7-month marriage to her. She doesn’t want that to happen again. She wants veto power over his girlfriend. Okay … wow.
As for Jess Caroline

She is so excited for Colt’s arrival!
But Larissa had called her

Last week, Larissa warned Jess that Colt is a “demon.” When Jess balked at listening, she asked if Colt was secretive and guarded about his phone messages. He was.
Most alarmingly

Larissa related to Jess how Colt had cheated on her, swapping pics and messages with Instagram side-pieces during their marriage.
Jess has resolved to find out for herself

So far, she has spent very little time with Colt. She wants to get to know him better and to look for (more) red flags.
For now …

Jess is not going to breathe a word about Larissa’s urgent warning to Colt or Debbie.
Awwww

They hugged so happily when Colt got off of the plane, when just moments before, we’d heard Debbie’s concerns and Jess’ second thoughts.
Jess got right to the point

She took Debbie’s uninvited arrival in stride, but made it very clear that she wants “alone time” with Colt.
“For sex”

We all knew what she meant immediately. Debbie is right there. This situation is … farcical.
Oh boy

Look at them making out in the van while Debbie just sits in the back seat and watches. To be fair, Debbie literally invited herself to be the third wheel. This is what she gets. She should count herself lucky that the camera crew is there, we guess, or this might have gotten steamier.
Poor Debbie

Again, she asked for this, but does ANYONE deserve to watch Colt make out with someone?
Debbie very understandably felt ill

Shortly after learning that Colt and Jess had already picked out names for potential children, she began to feel ill. Same.
Angela Deem is packing her bags

With her friend’s help — a friend who will help her daughter look after her grandbabies — she packs her suitcases for Nigeria, where she will marry Michael.
She says goodbye to her mom

Angela’s mother isn’t as old as she looks (for that matter, neither is Angela), but she is in very poor health so this goodbye is especially painful.
Angela showed her the wedding dress

None of Angela’s family can make it to the wedding (her friend has agreed to witness it), but she at least got to model it in front of her mom.
Reunited!!

Angela and Michael were reunited in Nigeria in anticipation of their wedding.
Michael had a home ready for Angela

In a scene that reminds us of Biniyam’s rental for Ariela on The Other Way just last week, Michael shows Angela around. She loves a lot of it … and then sits on the bed to find that it is way too hard. The human back is a nightmare, and Angela’s has some real issues.
The bed is TOO hard

She compares the firmness of the mattress to an erection and erupts in laughter at her own joke. Oh, Angela.
In the kitchen …

Angela finds a dead rat. That is not something that anyone wants to find at any time in their home, and only a small step up from a live rat.
Elizabeth is in Moldova

Elizabeth and her useless ogre of a husband, Andrei, are in Moldova for a second wedding that Elizabeth’s dad is paying for.
Andrei cannot stop being the worst for a single moment

Every time that Elizabeth acts like a human person with feelings and desires and opinions, Andrei shuts her down. He is somehow being worse, not better, in Moldova.
Silence this man

“Over there, you listen; here, you listen double,” he has the gall to say to his wife.
Elizabeth doesn’t bat an eye

Andrei wants to act all domineering, but he’s unemployed, lazy, and rude.
Andrei gets all up in arms

Meanwhile, he actively mistranslates his mother to Elizabeth, because she does admit that she gets tired of laying out a traditional platter of food every day. Andrei simply tells his wife that Moldovan women are more energetic than Americans. Ugh.
Andrei enjoys the language barrier

He’s just a controlling douchecanoe as usual and extra smug about it. Part of us wants to believe that he’s not really like this, that he’s just playing a jerk on camera for ratings or whatever.
When Elizabeth asks him to translate, he doesn’t comply

Even in the car, when she asks him to include her in conversations, Andrei asks if she’s a feminist. First of all, it’s always weird to remember that there are people who DON’T identify as feminists. But yeah, Andrei fits the bill.
He ridicules her

Fun fact: spouses who love each other do not have to be prompted to include the other in conversations.
Andrei meets up with friends

They’re at a bar and … well we are not experts on Moldova, but he’s not necessarily showing off the nicest side of his home country.
Andrei freely admits that he is unemployed

Because he is a colossal jerk, he sounds proud of the fact that he is mooching off of his wife and her family instead of taking a giftwrapped job from her father to provide for his child.
He makes Elizabeth the butt of the joke

Elizabeth, in turn, understands exactly what her husband is saying. What happened in her life to make her believe that she deserves to be treated this way? No one does.
Even Andrei’s friends are shaken

No, this is not America changing Andrei — he is just like this.
Elizabeth is concerned for how her family will fare

Andrei, clearly drunk, asks why she even worries about her sister. Elizabeth doesn’t want her family to offend anyone in Moldova by simply being themselves and speaking their minds. Andrei, being the worst, seems excited at the prospect.