90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 5 continues with the sixth episode of the season.
In sneak peek clips, we had already seen Colt brag about sex with Jess to his mother, who did not want to hear it.
On top of that, we got to hear him remind Debbie that she does not have to be an “a–hole.”
Low found a way to straighten out Asuelu that left Asuelu willing and eager to apologize to his wife.
After Andrei called Elizabeth a foul word, the two looked at a wedding venue that made them both happy before going to Elizabeth’s orthodox baptism.
Angela’s deranged jealousy left her screaming in rage at Michael.
And Larissa’s pursuit of love at all costs gets her cast out on the street.
Colt Johnson and Jess Caroline
Colt and Jess went out for drinks after an EXTREMELY cranky Debbie went to sleep in her hotel room. Jess had a number of concerns, one of which was that Colt and Debbie had different rooms in the same hotel suite … which would present obvious problems for Jess’ plans for his visit to Brazil.
Jess lays out the problem
If Coltee is too smothered by his mom, who invited herself on the trip, then how are they gone to bone all day and all night? Colt does explain that the single hotel suite was a “mistake” and that he has now rented a second room for the purpose of boning.
Jess still feels hurt
Jess feels (very understandably) that Debbie’s behavior, from her mini-breakdown in the van to her furiously slamming the door, indicates that she does not like Jess.
Or, to put it bluntly
“She’s rude.” Jess was warned about many things by Larissa’s phone call, but at the time chose to not believe them.
Jess worries that history is repeating itself
Jess hasn’t told Colt about Larissa’s call, so she notes that he has spoken about how things went wrong with his ex, and she has concerns that Colt’s mother will cause some of the same issues in this romance.
Colt gets defensive
He talks about his bond with his mom. When Jess asks him to commit to whether Debbie’s decision to be a third wheel is intrusive and bad or sweet and good, he says that it is “good.”
Which prompts this amazing line.
“You’re a baby man” is a good line. Sometimes words like “manchild” get thrown around a lot, sometimes unfairly, but in this case, she’s talking about Colt coming to Brazil with his mom as a chaperone.
She opts to move past it
Jess is looking forward to Colt meeting her family, even though she fears that Debbie’s gruff and unfriendly nature may make her clash with them.
Jess sticks to the positive
Both Jess and Larissa have spoken about Colt’s “healthy sex drive,” so Jess is very down to clown now that Colt is in town.
And that’s just what they do
Colt and Jess walk off into the night, having downed their drinks, and presumably they spend the evening banging.
The next day
Despite Debbie feeding Colt with her fork like he’s a helpless baby bird, he does talk to his mom about her behavior, pointing out that she doesn’t have to be an “a–hole.” That’s a fair point. No amount of tiredness excuses a slammed door.
Awkward …
Debbie insists that she knows best for Colt, and he encourages her to just take a walk with Jess and to get to know her before she rushes to judgment.
Debbie and Jess sit down to chat on the beach
However, Debbie then tells Jess very bluntly that she thinks that Larissa was just after a green card and citizenship from Colt and that she worries that Jess may be doing the same thing. Jess is beyond insulted.
Confirmation at last
In this case, Jess is talking about believing what Larissa had to say about Debbie, whom Larissa had described as a “wolf” just a couple of episodes ago.
Syngin Colchester and Tania Maduro
After their previous very emotional chat, Syngin is now getting into touch with his brother, who is unwell. His brother is in the ICU back in South Africa with a blood clot in his lungs. This is a scary thing, but it also brings up further difficult memories for Syngin.
Syngin already missed one loved one’s passing
Syngin’s grandmother passed away while he was on his K-1 visa. He does not want this to happen again. More to the point, there are a lot of things that he misses about his old, carefree life.
But he can’t just jet off
In addition to budgetary considerations, Syngin needs to talk to Tania about their lives and their future.
Syngin wants to go home
Tania tells him that she understands his need, especially given the urgency of his brother’s situation. Family emergencies happen, right?
At the same time …
Tania feels real fears that if Syngin heads to South Africa, the “energy” of being in his familiar haunts and around those folks may make him reluctant to leave. Tania worries if this could spell the end of their marriage.
Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
Michael goes to wake up Angela in the apartment that he is renting. This is an odd moment for filming to begin. Very few of us would want to be filmed before we have gotten up and ready for the day.
But look!
Angela shows Michael some of the things that she has gotten, including suits for the wedding.
Michael explains
Normally, he would wear very different garb for a wedding. But since they are getting married in Nigeria, a compromise is that it will be an American wedding. That means suits.
Michael is so excited!!!
He does a genuinely adorable dance of joy in excitement to marry Angela.
But he has hopes …
Michael isn’t sure how quickly the spousal visa will work. He is hoping that Angela might consider living with him in Nigeria, at least until the spousal visa goes through.
But he has concerns
Michael gets the impression that Angela is from a small town. That is an understatement. Hazlehurst, Georgia has a population of about 4,000 people. That is a very small town, not even twice the size of my high school. Michael meets with a number of American expats to get an idea of what life may be like for him, a Black man from Africa, in rural Georgia.
He wants Angela to sit down with them
Michael has to struggle to explain dual citizenship to Angela, as his friend is from Atlanta and has dual citizenship. Michael wants to have a discussion of what his life will realistically be like in America. Angela is already resentful that he would want to ask anyone other than her.
Then …
Angela sits down and realizes that three of the expats are young women. She glowers silently then gets up, shakes their hands, and walks off. This is … absolutely deranged, and her behavior only gets worse.
Angela was FURIOUS
Apparently because other human women exist in the world, Angela has a temper tantrum and a loud, angry meltdown.
Michael is totally taken aback
Angela audibly SCREAMS at him to shut up. Folks, some of us dream of a world where yelling is illegal, but even those who don’t know that it is 100% unacceptable to speak to ANYONE like Angela is speaking to Michael. This is toxic, vile behavior that cannot be excused.
Angela continued to rant and wail in the car
She’s still indignant that Michael would ever want to hear what it’s like in Georgia from anyone other than her, a white grandmother. She also repeatedly asks if he thinks that she’s stupid, a question that has drawn many comments from viewers who were not as quick as Michael to give her assurances that she is not.
More bad news
Angela gets a call from her daughter (not the sex offender), who warns her that her own mother is showing signs of dementia. Angela freaks out that she’s not home to care for her mom, but let’s be clear — caregivers do not magically cause or prevent dementia.
Asuelu Pulaa
Poor, sick Kalani got a much-needed break while Low, her very protective father, “invited” Asuelu to accompany him on a walk. With all of the enthusiasm of a man who’s not entirely sure if he’s going on a walk or going to get dropped off in a forest and hunted for sport, Asuelu heads out with his father-in-law.
He knows what this is about
Asuelu’s behavior has been nothing short of abhorrent. He called his wife a “lying bitch,” and said this in front of his children AND his mother-in-law. He pleads with Low to hear his side of the story, as if that could matter.
Low shows a lot of restraint
Low tells his son-in-law that he gets it, he’s from Samoa. He knows that, culturally, Asuelu likely grew up with the idea that he would one day get to boss around his wife and be like the king of his own tiny castle. But Low also notes that this is not how it’s done here, and it WON’T be how it’s done for any of Low’s daughters, whom he raised to not stand for that kind of BS.
Whoops
Asuelu’s plea to be understood appears to be mixed with two things: a growing understanding that he needs to shape up, and some hints at the potential consequences if he does not.
Low needs Asuelu to act right
Asuelu isn’t just his son-in-law, he is the father of Low’s grandkids. He doesn’t want Asuelu cursing, but he absolutely doesn’t want Asuelu disrespecting his daughter or his wife — in front of the kids or otherwise.
Asuelu gets the message
He acknowledges that the way that he spoke to his wife and mother-in-law are unacceptable. He may not understand why, deep down, yet, but hopefully that will come in time.
He means it
Or, at least, he wants everyone to believe that he means it, but that’s just the first step of actually meaning what you’re saying.
Asuelu will apologize
If your choice is to apologize to your wife for being a childish douchecanoe to her and her family or get, say, fed to the dogs at the dog part, isn’t it better to bite the bullet and apologize? We sure think so.
Elizabeth Potthast and Andrei Castravet
Elizabeth and Andrei are preparing for her wedding and for the arrival of her family, and Andrei is truly on his worst behavior.
They are at a hideous venue
Don’t get us wrong, Moldova is its own country with its own culture and maybe this liminal space from a 1992 fever dream is acceptable there. Elizabeth was not impressed.
And then it got worse
They didn’t have any food to taste — folks who aren’t familiar with wedding planning, there is basically ALWAYS a tasting menu, for the cake and for the food served at the receptions. They had a book full of photos of food. The other issue in Elizabeth’s mind was concern that her family would be weirded out by foreign foods. That’s … well, it makes sense to make sure that everyone has something to eat, but that doesn’t mean that there have to be cheeseburgers. This was a rare moment when Andrei was not fully in the wrong (for shooting down her desire for cheeseburgers at their Moldovan wedding), but that soon changed.
He kept being rude
Elizabeth being concerned about her family’s arrival and how they will enjoy the wedding (that her dad, Chuck, is paying for) and more is very reasonable. The cheeseburger thing was not, but Andrei’s rudeness towards her is just a million times worse.
He kept interrupting her
Elizabeth called him out on it, and Andrei got furious, yelling at his wife on camera.
WHAT did he just call her?
Context and bleep asterisks suggest that he may have called her the C-word. Lip-readers suggest that he may have called her a “bitch.” It barely matters what he called her — because expletives aside, yelling at your spouse is unacceptable. It’s wrong when Angela does it and it’s wrong when Andrei does it.
They made an uneasy peace after
Elizabeth had stormed off but the conversation continued, albeit more calmly, in the car. Elizabeth just wanted to speak without being interrupted. It’s not unreasonable.
Behold, a better venue!
This new place looked nicer. Not fancy, exactly, but nicer. It also doesn’t double as a casino when not in use for weddings, which is a huge plus.
Elizabeth was much happier
She and Andrei even tried out the dance floor. The whole time, she was thinking of how her family would feel, and at this place, she’s sure that they will feel right at home.
Next up, picking out the food
This place had actual food prepared for them to sample, because they’re professionals.
It’s good!
Elizabeth acknowledges that the food doesn’t look the same as American food, but the array of foods does look super scrumptious.
Andrei even apologizes
This time, when he interrupts her, he apologizes, and the two of them share a laugh. Wow! If Elizabeth just ignores all of the things that he says to and about her, they get along great. :/
She’s feeling optimistic
Her family will, she reasons, be able to identify things like chicken and potatoes and bacon even if they are not presented in a typical American fashion.
On to the baptism
Honestly, it’s so weird that 90 Day Fiance is presenting this as so wildly different. Elizabeth is “converting” from one version of Christianity to another. To outsiders, the differences are purely academic. It’s a formality to undertake before the wedding.
Andrei can’t help himself
He uses a biblical narrative to explain why gender inequality is ingrained into Moldovan culture and Orthodox Christianity. Charming guy.
Ugh
As much as we loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the “the man is the head and the woman is the neck” stuff is toxic patriarchal nonsense and even if Andrei is just being an ass for the sake of the cameras, he’s pushing it too far.
Larissa Lima
Larissa meets with Adam, her attorney, for a legal checkup and to discuss her life at present. He says that if all goes according to plan, the court will grant her the reduced charge per her agreement with the judge.
Larissa is seeing Eric again
Larissa notes that she and Eric Nichols are talking again after being broken up for a number of weeks. She admits that after their breakup, she experienced harassment (which we here at THG covered) from an unknown woman and she had assumed that Eric was responsible.
So …
Because of that drama, Larissa had to file a police report because, as she learned the hard way with Colt, whoever calls the police first is the one getting ahead of the story. After Colt, Larissa is terrified of law enforcement being used to harass her or, worse, send her back to Brazil. Fortunately, Eric did not do anything of the sort.
So, she’s on the verge of getting back with Eric
Her attorney tells her that he worries if any shenanigans start up again, she could get in trouble very easily even if she does not actually do anything wrong.
Larissa knows that
She does not want to face the wrath of the courts or be deported.
We do see Eric again
She tells him that he was a little too cheap with her and asks him to pay for her to get a boob job. Wild.
He warns her …
Carmen Nys did not approve and does not want to see these two get back together. Carmen, of course, is the friend who took in Larissa after her scary breakup with Colt.
Larissa chats with Carmen
She notes that she likes affection, love, and attention.
She wants to live her life
That, Larissa tells Carmen, is why she’s getting back with Eric over her friend’s objections. Carmen thinks that Larissa needs to be more independent and to live her life with a bit more dignity.
Finally, she puts her foot down
“I want you out of here by the end of the weekend,” Carmen tells Larissa.
Oh dear
“I didn’t come to America to be homeless,” Larissa laments outside. “F–k my life.”