Last week, the world finally learned why, in his own words, Andrei Castravet had to leave Moldova.
But this season, he has been back in his own country.
Things have been turbulent, but everything has led up to this moment — his wedding to Elizabeth.
Things are going so well until Charlie, once again drunk, tries to ruin the day.
Will Andrei let him get away with it, or has he finally had enough?
Below, we have included a clip of this explosive drama.
Plus, Kalani and Asuelu’s families meet to talk, Angela marries Michael, and Colt is rethinking is life.
Paul and Karine leave for Brazil and Larissa goes in for surgery. Season 5, Episode 14 was a doozy!
Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa
Asuelu is the first to admit that, despite his earlier misgivings, going to couples counseling has been a boon to their rocky marriage.
But now, mom has come to visit
Asuelu picks up his mom and one of his sisters and takes them to their hotel. His other sister, Tammy — the one who previously lunged at Kalani — is not there. Rose is nice. Asuelu’s mom … is Asuelu’s mom.
Tell us how you REALLY feel
Lesina tells the camera, point blank, that she is there for her son, not for her daughter in law. This is not a healthy attitude.
Her complaint is not surprising
Again, we can recognize cultural differences playing a role while also pointing out that some traditions are toxic. The cycle of paying vast sums to your elders until you qualify as an elder is a pyramid scheme and the losers are all young people — and any elders who don’t have kids.
Asuelu has a problem with his mother’s words
Remember, the episode two weeks ago showed Lesina say “I don’t care about the kids,” disregarding her own grandchildren. Sickening.
She needs to apologize
What’s more is that Asuelu is standing up for his wife and kids and telling his mom that she needs to apologize.
This is a wild line
Yes, it makes sense for Asuelu to value his wife, whom he chose, more than the coincidence of his birth. But his mom is saying this in an accusatory fashion.
WHAT?!
She then begs him to get a divorce so that he can once again labor for her benefit. She wants him to abandon his wife and kids to be her … we don’t want to say “slave” … but a person who labors on her behalf while she benefits and he himself does not.
They’re having a family meeting
At that meeting, Asuelu wants his mom to please keep her cool and not get too mad. Really, that might be better advice for Tammy, the one who wanted to solve this with violence.
Kalani is anxious
Sitting down at the restaurant with her parents and kids (sadly, no Kolini in sight :/), she confesses that she is nervous about how things will go. (Just an aside, but this restaurant definitely agreed to be featured in the episode, as the camera took a moment to film the sign and everything. Also the waitress’ face wasn’t blurred. Did the restaurant just assign their prettiest waitress to the table or was it a coincidence? We have so many production curiosities.) Low, her father, is not nervous at all.
Low is looking forward to it
He wonders if Asuelu’s family will look them in the eyes and tell them that they need to pay for everything in their lives.
Lisa shares her view
She remembers running into some cultural differences early in her marriage to Low, but she thinks that Asuelu’s family is playing up the “polynesian culture” angle way too much — because it is self-serving.
Low agrees
He notes that it is absolutely part of Samoan culture to support your family, but not to the exclusion of your spouse and children. He helped his family, but always after making sure that he had provided for his true family first. Common sense stuff, really.
The Family Asuelu arrives
Tammy tells the camera, before even going inside, that she still thinks that Kalani has mind-controlled Asuelu. Sure.
“We didn’t disrespect you” … what?
Tammy, you LUNGED at Kalani at your last meeting, only after accusing her of preying on a younger man and brainwashing him and getting pregnant on purpose!!!
Lesina was SO meme-worthy this week
Unfortunately, in context, the things that she says — while charming to say about your favorite character on TV while discussing their comical failures with friends — are cruel towards her son and her daughter-in-law.
She! Wants! Moneyyyy!
However, after Asuelu stands his ground, his mother does agree to respect his wishes in the future. We’ll see.
Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
I’m not calling Michael a “king,” exactly, but do you ever see a fantasy story where a king is under a sorceress’ enchantment and he’s going to marry someone, and the heroes are desperately trying to stop the wedding before it’s too late? This was kind of how their storyline felt. Again, not saying that I’m necessarily a Michael fan, I just think that no human being deserves to be treated how Angela treats him.
The dreaded day has arrived
We here at THG reported on the wedding when it happened, much earlier this year, but seeing it is very different.
Angela is all dressed up
Remember, Angela insisted upon an American-style wedding even though it was in Nigeria. She keeps saying that respect for Michael’s culture will play a part in their lives, but it’s unclear where that will come into play.
Even Aunt Lydia showed up
She explains that she still has (very fair) misgivings about how one-sided this relationship is and how controlling Angela is, but she doesn’t want to ruin the wedding itself.
Okay, this is cute
The thing about these two is that they do have very sweet moments on camera, and probably countless others that aren’t shown or were never filmed. But we don’t judge relationships based upon their best moments, and no amount of good can erase the verbal and emotional abuse that viewers have witnessed.
To WHAT?
When it comes to the vows, Angela is shaken theatrically when the line about “to love and obey” comes along, but they go through with it anyway.
It’s over!
By which we mean that the wedding is over … they kiss as husband and wife. Michael has sealed his fate.
On to the reception
Michael showers money upon Angela. He explains to the camera that this is part of traditional Nigerian weddings. Obviously, in the US, this is more commonly associated with flashing cash to sex workers, particularly to strippers. That’s a fun cultural difference. Also, as we all know, Angela’s bra can hold plenty, so the cash has no problem.
Later …
Angela’s friend asks — clearly at the prompting of producers, it was very ham-fisted — how Michael would respond to the doubters who say that he’ll leave Angela after two years of marriage so that he’ll have his green card forever. While Angela glowers, Michael expresses that he is truly in love with Angela and wants to be with her.
Celebrations!
However, their good times cannot last forever. Angela has to return to the US soon, at which point she and Michael will have to go through a lengthy process to get him to the US. The current federal government’s white nationalist policies mean that even a spouse of an American may find it impossible to move to the US from Nigeria. Hopefully, that will change in just a few months.
Oh no
Angela received a call from her daughter. Her mother was unresponsive. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital.
Colt Johnson
After ruining things with Jess Caroline by lying to her and sending dong pics left and right, Colt works out with a buddy. Vanessa has moved out, so it’s truly just him and Debbie right now. He is determined to improve himself … but instead of changing his habits like lying, cheating, playing mind games, gaslighting, revenge porn, etc … he just wants to lose weight. He works up a sweat, and at one point … ugh … vomits into a trashcan.
His friend gives him some advice
Colt’s buddy suggests that he set up boundaries with his mother for future relationships. As much as Debbie set out to sabotage Colt and Jess’ romance, I think that his friend is giving her too much credit. Colt was the architect of his own relationship’s downfall. Debbie just accelerated the process.
Paul Staehle and Karine Martins
Paul and Karine are headed back to Brazil after Paul treating her to the wonders of a single-room trailer next the train tracks didn’t win her over to the wonders of America, and even after his last-ditch effort to wow her with a poop water facility didn’t work. Paul being a disaster, he fumbles to find his passport.
His mom came to say goodbye
She gushes and even tears up because she is going to miss them, especially spending time with her grandbaby.
Karine explains the plan
She’s not upset that they came to the US and made the effort, but Paul couldn’t find a job so they just couldn’t stay. The plan is to return to Brazil and then try again in the US. This time, maybe Paul could find some job prospects sooner? (For the record, we do know that they returned to the US … but that was far from the end of their drama)
Larissa Lima and Eric Nichols
Larissa and Eric are in the car on the way to her plastic surgery. It’s a big day and there are some understandable anxieties.
She’s getting a boob job and a nose job
Larissa jokes that Eric will have a brand new girlfriend when she comes out of surgery.
She is excited for her new bust
Poor Larissa really seems to have body dismorphia. There has never been an issue with her breast size in terms of how others see her. We don’t even know if Colt’s creepy behavior is to blame — but it’s clear that Larissa views her body as flawed in ways that do not conform with reality, and it makes her miserable.
All set!
This is the nerve-wracking part, especially when they emphasize the risks. Surely Larissa knew this already, but it’s different when you’re about to go under.
She’s all in
Larissa is not the only one whose butt will be blurred in this episode, but her story isn’t done yet.
It’s a tense time
Every single time that you get put under, there is a risk that you might have complications — or might never wake up again. The surgical procedures then have risks of their own.
Eric started getting antsy
We don’t know how much producers were prodding him (footage of him doing nothing whatsoever but sitting and waiting doesn’t really cut it), but Eric expressed some real worries.
Oh no
Now, Larissa took some extra time to wake up after the procedure. She did end up breathing on her own and conscious, however, and they were able to send her home.
It’s all on Eric
Eric pushed her along in a wheelchair to take her back home, where he will be her caregiver while she heals.
Right now, she needs to recover
So Eric brings her medicine, he gives her little bits of water when she asks, and he also spoon-feeds her. This is … remarkably tender.
Elizabeth Potthast and Andrei Castravet
It’s the day of Elizabeth’s Moldovan wedding. She and Andrei are already married, but this time, they’re getting married in accordance with his family’s traditions. She has pulled out all of the stops, even converting to Orthodox Christianity, and now her sister Jenn is there to apply her makeup.
Andrei is also getting ready
Hanging out, he does give Marcel a brief hard time for speaking about him to the Potthasts, but he quickly moves on.
Then …
Andrei shows off the best side of his personality — his body — and while he’s a thirst trap, the Moldovan men in the room for some reason decide to body-shame him? As we have said many times, cultural differences exist on a spectrum. Body-shaming is just plain bad. And almost hilariously misplaced in this case.
Elizabeth gets into costume
She really does feel more like she’s cosplaying as a serf in the middle ages than like she’s preparing for her wedding, but she’s doing this for Andrei.
LOTS of Potthast reactions
She looks like she’s a little old Moldovan woman baking bread, they marvel. It’s not that she looks old, but wearing traditional attire in ANY culture tends to make you look older. Put a six-year-old child in a suit and tie and suddenly I’m asking him about his stock portfolio.
This means so much to Andrei
Did … did things not feel real earlier? We guess that he just means within Moldovan culture and his church. You know how some families get weird if you just get a marriage certificate and don’t have a wedding ceremony beyond the minimum required for marriage? Maybe he’s been getting a lot of grief from that.
Everyone is ready
Andrei does have to remind everyone to not be joking around or laughing. The reason is that it’s a church. Depending upon your religion, houses of worship may be regarded as deeply solemn locations. It varies from faith to faith, and within denominations.
I crown thee … wait
Okay, so if you don’t have any Orthodox friends, you may not know that they do not screw around when it comes to the presence of gold or in general having lots of fancy regalia.
No pressure?
It’s interesting to see the fusion of super old-timey practices (there are very apparent pre-Christian influences in the marriage ceremony, for example) with something as modern as a formal marriage certification. What a fun cultural experience for viewers!
Now, for the good part
At the reception, they’re at the very nice place that Elizabeth and Andrei picked out together. Chuck, of course, is footing the bill.
There are some genuinely sweet moments
The bride and groom … who have been married for quite some time at this point — are acting like newlyweds, which fits the vibe of the event.
Charlie, however …
Last week, we saw the previews and hoped that it was just TLC making it look like Charlie was going to act like a trash goblin and diss his brother-in-law at the reception, but turn out to be misleading. Nope — Charlie tried to get a chant started about Andrei not being s–t or whatever. Don’t be rude.
Even Chuck wanted him to cool it
This is one of those places where bad behavior in real life makes for GREAT reality TV because this episode was finally delivering on the AGES of buildup that have been going all season long.
OH NO
Charlie seemingly cannot help himself: “Get your s–t together. Don’t come to America and try to live off my dad. Don’t ask my dad for s–t.”
The reception goes on
However, once it’s dark, Andrei takes Charlie aside and outside. Charlie himself asks if Andrei is trying to fight him.
Watch it for yourself
This is the explosive clip of Charlie trying to ruin his sister’s Moldovan wedding.