90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days is back with Season 5.
On the season premiere, viewers were introduced to four of the season’s seven brand-new couples.
Caleb and Alina (no, not that one) are already speeding ahead to possible fan-favorite territory, but there’s a lot that could go wrong.
As the outdoorsy and spiritual American meets up with the disabled Russian band member in Turkey, they’ll see if their chemistry is as good in person.
Gino and Jasmine are clearly crazy about each other, but they are both a little “out there.”
While Jasmine seems to alternate between intense jealousy and extreme horniness, Gino seems to make ignoring red flags into a new art form.
Kimberly is 50 years old and thinks that her next relationship could be her “last chance” at happiness.
She is determined for that relationship to be none other than Usman Umar, but she knows that she’s not the first older white American woman to cross paths with him.
Memphis had a rough childhood and had to make a lot of sacrifices to give her kids more happiness and stability than she had.
Now, she’s hoping to reap the rewards of a relationship with Hamza … but her loved ones worry that her “leap of faith” will lead downhill, fast.
Caleb Greenwood and Alina Kasha
One of the SEVEN new couples is Caleb and Alina, both of whom are 27 years old. The new season begins with several shots of Caleb jogging shirtless in Arizona. Some viewers already have their fingers crossed that he’ll be one of the cast members who launches an OnlyFans.
So who is Caleb?
He has done a lot of traveling and has lived internationally. He has also done some extensive self-discovery, tapping into his spiritual side. At one point, production got him explaining (awkwardly) how he felt about himself feeling almost “alien” through extensive self-examination, but editors were kind enough to leave in the part where he then laughs after realizing how that sounds.
But Caleb has gotten very spiritual
He does a tarot spread on camera, determining that the cards may be commenting on his future with Alina — one that he hopes will be a bright one.
Caleb and Alina go way back
When they were both about 14, Caleb and Alina struck up a friendship on social media. Of course, this was like 2007, so this was on Facebook. They eventually fell out of touch, only reconnecting when Caleb was planning a trip to Russia, checked a dating app for the area, and found that his childhood friend was on it.
Now adults at very different places in their lives, they reconnected
This time, even though the pandemic prevented that trip to Russia from happening, things took a turn for the romantic.
Meanwhile, in Russia
Alina is modeling a jaw-dropping burlesque look. Burlesque is a recent interest of hers, but you wouldn’t know it from the photoshoot.
Gas her up!
Genuinely, this is a fantastic look for Alina, and it’s not hard to see why her reconnection with Caleb so quickly took a turn for the romantic.
Meet Alina!
Like Caleb, she is 27. Alina has diastrophic dysplasia, which is a rare form of dwarfism that is often accompanied by numerous complications and can sometimes require multiple surgeries.
Her friends are there to support her
This is a good thing for her, but it’s also a great introduction to them — because it looks like Elijah is going to be a larger part of this season.
She’s also in a band
With her friends, Alina is in a band with some very raunchy lyrics. Gotta be honest, I’m already obsessed with this couple’s storyline. This was the moment for me when I knew that they’ll probably be my favorite for the season.
Alina’s disability impacts her life, by definition
She can still go places and drive, but she does need certain accessibility options. Her fingers have limited flexibility, she can only walk for a limited amount of time before becoming tired. But she is excited and eager to see Caleb and to make this happen — even if it means going to Turkey, their only viable option since the borders are closed.
Alina breaks the news to her parents
They are instantly worried. Alina explains to the camera that she has a sister who is of average height, who is also babied by her parents, but she does feel that she gets even more of this treatment despite being a grown woman.
They worry … because she’s been heartbroken before
Years ago, a South African man met up with Alina in Russia and the two had a strong connection. But when she later went to South Africa, he made excuses and never met up with her. It’s not clear what caused this (for all that we know, he could have been married, or he could be a “chaser” who didn’t want his friends to know) but Alina was heartbroken and devastated as a result.
Back in Arizona …
Caleb is drawing out his intentions for his relationship in a spiritual practice, drawing on a sheet of paper while seated by the fire. He wants to connect with Alina.
Later, the two talk
Alina tells Caleb that she has concerns about accessibility options in Turkey (concerns also raised by her parents), so her friend Elijah — who is also her roommate — will be tagging along to help her with things like light switches and other things in the hotel that may be out of reach. Caleb is initially unsure, because this feels like an awkward third wheel situation, but he emphasizes that it’s important for him that Alina feel comfortable.
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
51-year-old auto engineer Gino is from Michigan. Jasmine is from Panama. These two are already shaping up to be a must-watch couple, but for very different reasons than Caleb and Alina.
Oh no
One of our earliest moments in the episode is seeing Gino go shopping (at a physical store, if you can imagine) for toiletries and a few other basic essentials while he prepares for his trip to see Jasmine. Before we make fun of him for the possibly generational decision to shop in person, this may have been a favor to a friend or something. We cannot explain why Gino would ask if there is “lotion for couples” like this.
Gino lets the cameras follow him on his daily routine
Some parts of this are unfair — the camera chooses to focus on Gino eating frozen dinners. Other parts are a little different, in that we’re unsure of why Gino didn’t tidy up his kitchen counters before filming. You get the “Male Living Space” vibe here, and there’s a feeling of inescapable loneliness. It’s not that everyone who lives alone is lonely, but Gino feels lonely. He reveals that his ex-wife was Brazilian and that the two of them were together for seven years.
Gino’s focus is on Jasmine
He says that he fell for her on the first day that they were talking, which is intense. The editors chose to double down on showing Gino’s physical attraction to Jasmine, highlighting photos of her as he describes her, though he also emphasizes how much he admires the intelligence of his English Lit teacher girlfriend.
Seriously, he finds her very sexy
Because of how deeply horny their relationship is — yes, they have (of course) been naked on video — Gino hopes to use some “little blue pills” to keep up with her.
But …
As Gino sort of confesses to his brother, he has never actually shown Jasmine his head without his hat. He’s not the only bald man in his family, but it clearly impacts his self-image, so he always wears a hat. He does say that Jasmine knows that he will literally always wear a hat unless he is sleeping.
More slice of life …
Gino takes Jasmine with him, so to speak, as he leaves the house to pick up food, explaining to the camera that Jasmine likes to keep tabs on his whereabouts when he leaves the house … even though they are on different continents. Gino tries to play it off like maybe she’s concerned about his safety, but this is clearly an insecurity issue … one that flares up in a big way when he speaks briefly with the young woman who hands him his food.
Red flag
This isn’t the first or only red flag here, but Jasmine’s distress about Gino speaking to the person who handed him his food is not a cute personality quirk, it’s a toxic controlling behavior.
Uncle Marco and his girlfriend Sandra visit
First of all, Sandra looks like a world-class Debbie Johnson impersonator. Second of all, they get SUPER xenophobic. Marco is apparently convinced that people in Central and South America will do anything to come to the United States. Sandra is fixated on the idea that he could be kidnapped.
And a revelation …
Gino is an auto engineer, but was laid off due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Thankfully, his savings are enough that he seems to be okay. But he has also spent a lot of money on Jasmine.
He’s “helped” Jasmine a lot
Some people send loved ones money to help with food or bills or rent, but that’s not what this is about — as Gino begins to list a number of cosmetic procedures that he has helped Jasmine get, sending her money from his savings despite having been laid off.
Still, Gino is nervous
He is planning on spending very little time around Jasmine before popping the question, and hopes to return home engaged after this trip. There’s a lot riding on this, and a lot could go wrong.
It’s almost time
After a tearful farewell from Uncle Marco, who wishes him the best, Gino updates Jasmine that he is about to set off on his first flight.
What a moment
In the tone of a human speaking affectionately to a dog, Jasmine asks Gino “who’s my beautiful gringo?” That’s actually amazing and I hope that it becomes a meme.
OH!
Right out in public and on speakerphone, Jasmine makes it clear what her intentions are.
Kimberly Menzies and Usman Umar
Kimberly is a 50-year-old San Diego native who is quick to let viewers know that she’s a huge Michael Jackson fan. Yes, in 2021 or maybe 2020, she’s still a fan of not only the music but the man. Already off to an interesting start.
Kimberly Menzies shows off her expensive MJ fan collection
As someone who does not know how to like things casually, I get it. But a $9,000 hat?
Kimberly’s mother lives with her
Sally has arthritis that makes some daily activities difficult for her, so Kimberly helps her with things like food preparation and laundry and other tasks around the house.
Kimberly also has a son
Jamal is in his mid-twenties and is devastatingly handsome, which Kimberly of course tells him. She was with his father for decades, only to learn that he was cheating on her with … just about everyone, apparently. Even following the divorce, she has had a lot of bad luck.
Kimberly clearly has specific taste in music
In the car, she plays music, and a producer asks her whose song that is.
NOOOOOOOO
Usman “Sojaboy” Umar is familiar to fans of the series, as we previously saw him with “Baby Girl” Lisa Hamme. That marriage ended in disaster, and Kimberly says that she is “1,000 times better” than Usman’s ex. That much, we don’t doubt. But … how did this happen?
It started when Kimberly slid into Usman’s DMs, as a fan
From there, things grew. However, though Kimberly breathlessly gushes that she’s dating Usman and thinks that he’s her key to happiness, a producer asks for clarification: are they really dating? That, it turns out, was a slip of the tongue, as Kimberly considers them dating but Usman does not. He considers them “pre-dating,” Kimberly says.
Kim …
Sally very gently expresses her concerns to Kimberly about her plans, but Kimberly breaks down into tears and talks about how this is the right thing for her — her last chance at a happily ever after.
Kimberly meets up with her friends, Alyssa and Vanessa
She affirms that she is planning on boning Usman when she gets there, but reveals that they are planning on getting separate rooms … just in case.
Also? Usman wants kids
Kimberly cannot possibly conceive, but says that she might be okay with Usman marrying other women while married to her, so that he can have kids. Her friends strongly doubt that she will feel so cavalier about this if it actually happens.
Kimberly cannot handle the doubts
Even though she has done most of the talking, Kimberly breaks down into tears and walks off, upset that people who love her have concerns about her choices.
They really are there for her
Also? We’d love to see Alyssa and Vanessa on Pillow Talk. Vanessa’s expressions and “bigger hoop, bigger ho” line really spoke to us.
Memphis and Hamza
Memphis is a 34-year-old single mom. Like Gino, she is from Michigan.
Okay!
Having witnessed Jesse Meester’s butt pretty extensively on The Single Life, we’re not sure how NSFW someone’s outfit has to be before Discovery Plus starts censoring it, but Memphis was so hot as she modeled different looks that even the streaming app opted to blur out bits of her body.
Her friends are there to cheer her on
Kristie and Kesha were very well liked by viewers, to the point where some are already asking to see them on Pillow Talk.
Back at home
We see what looks like a very healthy relationship between Memphis and her 13-year-old daughter, Kennedi. Memphis has another child, a young son, whom she shares with her ex-husband. Memphis put herself through school, getting her Masters and entering the nursing field so that she can provide for her kids and herself.
Almost on a whim, she met Hamza on an international dating app
Hamza is the total package, to her, because he is hot and has nice lips and a good smile. Despite a significant language barrier, Memphis has fallen for him.
Some things don’t require language
“Sexy time” is seemingly one of the only lines that they both understand.
Hamza’s vocabulary is growing
It is fully possible to fall in love with someone when you don’t speak the same language. But is it wise? That question has come up more than once on this show.
Memphis plans to marry Hamza
She assures Kristie and Kesha that she’s not actually rushing into things as they fear, because her three-week trip won’t start with a wedding. The pre-nup is for Week 1, the wedding is for week 2. Is that reassuring?
Memphis says that it’s a “leap of faith” that Hamza will be a good stepdad
That doesn’t sound promising, and Memphis’ mother is similarly concerned. Now, Memphis’ mom had her own struggles when Memphis was a child, with a cocaine addiction that left Memphis and her family unable to keep a roof over their heads at times.
That makes it hard for Memphis to take her advice
Memphis knows that her mother is quick to dismiss Memphis’ childhood because it’s a coping mechanism that she has developed, which makes sense. But one wishes that Memphis would realize that her rough time as a youth might be impacting her current decisions, and not in a good way.