Savage Texts That Remind You Why Your Ex Should Remain Your Ex

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Don't do it, people.

Put that phone down and trust us: Do NOT send that text message to your former significant other.

Why not, you may somehow be wondering?

Consider the following exchanges as evidence for why this is always (repeat: always!) a bad idea... 

1. Bitch? Please.

Bitch? Please.
Nice try, loser.

2. Feel Free to Call Again

Feel Free to Call Again
Just don't expect a response.

3. See, That's Why I Dumped You

See, That's Why I Dumped You
Do you get it now?

4. Take Your Poetic Nonsense...

Take Your Poetic Nonsense...
.... and shove it.

5. But You'd Strangle Hitler and Bin Laden?

But You'd Strangle Hitler and Bin Laden?
Right?!?

6. Too Little. Too Late.

Too Little. Too Late.
Too awesome of a response.

7. Also, the Scum at the Bottom of the Earth

Also, the Scum at the Bottom of the Earth
That also reminds me of you.

8. That's Not a Dream

That's Not a Dream
It's a nightmare.

9. Google Translate is Awesome!

Google Translate is Awesome!
But you suck.

10. Cutest Eff You Ever

Cutest Eff You Ever
And also the greatest.

11. Single AF

Single AF
And so well rested.

12. Ouch!

Ouch!
Our groin hurts just looking at this.

13. I Was Gonna Get It Framed Anyway

I Was Gonna Get It Framed Anyway
Because it makes me so happy.

14. Just Walk Away Now, Dude

Just Walk Away Now, Dude
You've lost.

15. Blockbuster Burn!

Blockbuster Burn!
Give the chain a break, will ya?!?

16. You Misspelled My Name

You Misspelled My Name
Please go away forever.

17. You May Wanna Pack a Bathing Suit

You May Wanna Pack a Bathing Suit
It's gonna be hot there.

18. Well, I Am Good in Bed

Well, I Am Good in Bed
But you'll never experience that again.

19. BURN!

BURN!
Almost literally, you've been burned.

20. You Must Be Thinking of Your Other Girlfriend

You Must Be Thinking of Your Other Girlfriend
A-hole.

21. Thanks!

Thanks!
I needed that laugh.

22. Note the Timestamp

Note the Timestamp
Just in case you didn't get it at first.

23. Yup, I'm Dead

Yup, I'm Dead
Don't memorialize me. Just move on.

24. I Guess I Failed

I Guess I Failed
But I'll keep trying.

25. Just Call Me Angry Spice

Just Call Me Angry Spice
Actually, don't call me at all.

26. Satan?

Satan?
Is that you?

27. Don't Answer!

Don't Answer!
It's a trap!

Wait! There's more! Just click "Next" below:

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