Bart Simpson has spent many years trying to convince Principal Skinner that Seymour Butts is an actual person to whom he would like to speak.
As far as we know, this isn't the case.
But we've scoured the Internet and come across a handful of people with names that may seem as though they came straight from the mind of Bart...
... yet are 100% real! We swear!
See for yourself below...
Dr. Will Tickel
Yes he will! And he will also cure what ails you.
We mean... yeah. Have you ever met a sad mangina?
Pooh Will Be So Disappointed! No honey for you tonight, Christopher Robin.
We're a family site. Go make a joke on your own time please.
Don't laugh! They really are happy and married!
Judy Graham Swallows
Yeah, but Derek Jeter sucks! Wait... that's not how it goes.
Poor guy. We hope his baseball team provided him with new pants at least.
Who is that again? We don't know. Just some Christian Guy.
It's funny... and good for you!
He must have been cheering for the Yankees. Maybe they'll win next time!
Dr. Rick Titball
Could be worse. He could be Dr. Rick Nippletesticle.
If our home ever catches fire, you best be sure we're calling in Les McBurney.
Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt
Shockingly, it doesn't look as if she has a drug problem. Just a cat-selling problem.
And he plays for the Idaho Steelheads. We love it!
You need to be over the age of 18 to be named this, we think.
Does he have a brother named Seymour?
Even Ice T is like, "WHAT?!?" And his name is Ice T!
Chris P. Bacon
We like this guy MUCH better than his brother, Flims E. Bacon.
This can't be her real name... can it?
Did his parents somehow see this photo before naming him?
Dr. Whet Faartz
No thank you! Please page Dr. Will Tickel for us instead!