Gwyneth Paltrow. The name is synonymous with "Privileged," which must give her license to say the most ridiculous, most obnoxious things in the world.
The Oscar winner and GOOP founder covers the May issue of SELF, which is apt given how much she talks about the organic, pristine, 24-carat life she enjoys.
Let's take a gander at the droplets of wisdom and advice that absolutely no one can relate to.
Americans Are Gross
"We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art, and literature -- all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, 'Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you're wearing?' and I thought, I can't stay here. I have to get back to Europe."
"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin."
Can't you do both?
Listen To Your Friend, Beyonce
"Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun. She’s like, ‘Remember when we were at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that."
Stop Projecting Your Poor-Person Sh** On Her
"My books are No. 1 New York Times best sellers, my website is growing every day and is very successful. If people who know me and love me have a criticism, then I really want to hear it. But if not, it’s just a projection, like I’m a screen, and it’s not about me, so I don’t absorb it." (The Kit)
Do These Fries Make Me Look Fat?
“We basically can’t live without Vegenaise—it’s a little out of control.”
"We're human beings and the sun is the sun — how can it be bad for you? I think we should all get sun and fresh air. I don't think anything that is natural can be bad for you — it's really good to have at least 15 minutes of sun a day." (Cosmo UK)