Ah, David Eason.
You almost have to admire the many new and innovative ways in which he manages to be a complete jackass on a daily basis. Almost.
David is such a fool in so many ways in such a short amount of time that not even law enforcement can keep up with his idiocy.
Fortunately, he documents his crimes on social media, which is the modern day equivalent of returning to the scene of the crime.
Take, for example, this latest incident:
Jenelle Evans’ doofus husband decided, for some reason, to incriminate himself on YouTube after pulling an incredibly stupid stunt.
Check it out:
Always Angry
David is angry all the time. He’s angry at the government, his wife, his kids, and the people who are unfortunate enough to live in close proximity to The Land.
Criminal Activity
David is no longer a reality star — in fact, he’s not employed at all — but fortunately, he’s in the habit of documenting his crimes on social media, thus making them easier to prosecute.
The Latest
David’s latest legal headache is actually the result of a crime he committed back in June. But since he just posted the video on YouTube this week, he’s only now being investigated.
Taking the Law Into His Own Hands
As you can see, David took it upon himself to tow a truck belonging to a stranger, whom he felt had blocked him into a parking space.
Total Dumbasses
Jenelle filmed the entire thing, cackling and coughing all the while.
These Two
As many pointed out in the comments to David’s video, the other driver’s car is in its spot, and David is actually encroaching on HIS space, due to his boat motor.
Success
Much to the delight of Jenelle, David was eventually able to “drag that f-cker sideways,” in his words.
Wow, What a Great Solution
This left the front tire of the other driver’s truck on the sidewalk, which in addition to being illegal, could have irreparably damaged the truck’s axel or alignment.
Making His Parents Proud
This stunt earned David a spot on last night’s Wilmington, North Carolina local news broadcasts.
Partners In Crime
“We were made aware of the video soon after it was posted online and immediately began investigating it,” a spokesperson for the Wilmington Police Department told WECT.
Ya Think?
“This is an absolutely inappropriate way to handle parking issues,†the spokesperson continued.
It Keeps Getting Worse
Ben Sharp, a reporter for WECT, was able to contact the owner of the truck, a disabled man named Terry Hill.
Yes, David Damaged a Disabled Man’s Truck
“I have just wrapped up an interview with Terry Hill, the man whose truck was towed by Eason,†Ben tweeted today. “Terry confirmed it was his truck in the video. He had to replace his transmission after this. The incident happened June 13.â€Â
Oh, This Is Rich
Sharp then revealed that David lied and claimed the video was a stunt to gain YouTube followers, and that the truck belonged to a friend of his.
This Effing Guy
“David Eason, reached by email, claims this was a YouTube stunt to gain followers,†Ben tweeted.
Busted
“David said this was his friend’s truck, and even doubled down when I told him we were interviewing Terry. David repeatedly denied requests for an interview, saying he didn’t have time,” Sharp added.
Banished
David was recently kicked off of Instagram after he made violent threats against several elected officials, including Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi.
Dipsh-t Dave
And so, David was forced to create a YouTube channel for his various felonies and misdemeanors. That’s where he posted his latest handiwork.
Who’s the “A$$hole”?
“Learn the right way to deal will a$$holes who think it’s cool to block you in a parking space,†he captioned the clip.
Yeah, Good Thing
“Good thing my trailer has a folded tongue that allowed me to get my truck out so I can tow him out of the way, in order to move my boat. Subscribe to my page to see a lot more interesting videos in the future!†Eason added.
The Response
Not surprisingly, the comments on David’s post have been overwhelmingly negative.
Good Question
“What did they even do wrong? They were perfectly in their space,†wrote one viewer.
Speaking the Truth
“Looks like your boat motor was in their space,” the comment continued. “You two are so childish. If someone did this to y’all, oh my lord you two would flip out.â€Â
What’s Next?
On its own, this stunt might not be enough to land David in jail.
Lawyer Up
But considering he’s currently under investigation by the Secret Service for last week’s threats, he may want to invest in a good defense attorney.
What Will the Police Do About It?
Nothing, at least not yet. The Wilmington Police Department announced that they will not be filing charges against Eason. “After extensive conversations with our legal team, we have exhausted all options to file criminal charges against Eason,†a statement from the department to Radar Online reads. “However, the victim still has the right to take out warrants against Eason for the damage his truck incurred at any time before the statute of limitations expires.â€Â
The Victim WILL Press Charges
The police aren’t pursuing their own case, but the victim, Terry Hill, will soon file a report to make sure the cops investigate further. “Hill has decided to press charges,†a follow up statement reads. “An officer is meeting with him to assist in paperwork/taking a report. Once completed, [the] WPD will take appropriate action to charge Eason.†Stay tuned.