Earlier this month, we reported that Kim Kardashian brought together a legal team to do her bidding.
They were tasked with ensuring that an alleged second sex tape never sees the light of day.
On the one hand, as she made clear on The Kardashians‘ premiere, Kim has never been entirely convinced that the tape exists.
But on the other, anyone with such a recording needs to be too afraid to even think about releasing it.
On Thursday’s series premiere of The Kardashians on Hulu, Kim Kardashian was on a warpath.
We all watched as Kim’s young son, Saint, showed her an image of her "cry face" in his Roblox game.
While many internet security advocates have concerns about Roblox, Kim’s worry was about the text that Saint did not read — implying that one could click to see her "new" sex tape.
As we reported last year, around the time when this was filmed, Ray J’s former manager was claiming that a sex tape existed.
Kim affirmed that she was "99.9 percent sure" that it did not exist.
That did not mean that she was not prepared to burn people to the "f–king ground" in order to protect her privacy.
The Kardashians viewers on Thursday saw Kim enlist powerhouse attorney Marty Singer to keep any such tape from going public.
Kim put Marty on speaker in the presence of Kris, Kourtney, and Khloe, also advising him that they were filming.
"Even if it exists," Marty assured everyone in the room, "they don’t have a legal right to release that tape without her consent."
"Had my son been a little bit older and been able to read, I would’ve been mortified," Kim told the camera.
Six-year-old Saint would have still been five at the time, so while he was presumably able to read, a kid that age might ignore text on a screen.
"But I died inside," she expressed.
Kim’s goal, she explained to Marty, was for him to simply "scare the s–t" out of Wack100, Ray J’s former manager.
She explained that she intended to sue for "nominal damages."
Kim doesn’t need money in a lawsuit, she wants to send a message — that no one else has the right to video of her naked body.
In a particularly goofy moment, Khloe declared that this was a "good omen."
She cited that for Kim to have a possible "sex tape" during the "first season" of their new show put them "back at square one."
While we can enjoy a good moment of ring composition or story framing as much as the next person, Kim clearly doesn’t see it that way.
Times were different during the early 2000s, in ways both good and bad for Kim.
Yes, the world is less sex-negative in some ways, and things like sex tapes are more mainstream — so people understand that the villain is the leaker, not the person having sex.
But Kim is now a mother of four, and the thing with Saint and Roblox was a close call. She doesn’t want it happening again.
For what it’s worth, Kim and Kanye eventually did retrieve a laptop, which did have footage on it — but allegedly had no sign of anything like a sex tape.
While that must have been a relief, it also brings up more questions, like why anyone would joke about something like this.
Whether it’s for profit or for 15 minutes of fame … some things should be off limits, right?