As we’ve discussed many times in the past, the Duggars are obsessed with sex.
In their youth, when they’re single, abstinence and the fear of temptation dominate their every waking hour.
But once they get married, they want the whole world to know they’re smashing their naughty bits into their partner’s on a nightly basis.
Watching a couple of married Duggars spend time together is like watching high school kids on a first date.
The conversation is almost as awkward as the groping and fumbling, but they seem to have no idea how cringe the whole spectacle is.
And sadly, it seems that Duggars who have been disowned by their parents are no less awkward than the ones who are still allowed at family gatherings.
As you’re probably aware, Jill Duggar has cut ties with her folks, and she seems happier than ever as a result.
But even though the newly-liberated Jill drinks alcohol and hangs out with other black sheep who have earned a place on Jim Bob’s sh-t list, she’s still a Duggar.
And that means she talks about sex constantly, but not very knowledgeably, kinda like that kid from Kindergarten Cop who kept saying, "Boys have a penis; girls have a vagina."
Anyway, now that she and Derick no longer appear on Counting On, Jill is paying the bills with lots of sponsored content.
This week, she’s shilling an app called "Intimately Us," which Jill describes as “definitely designed for married couples” — in other words, it’s for people who are allowed to bone without condemning themselves to the eternal torments of hell.
The Ashley, of The Ashley’s Reality Roundup fame, has summarized Jill and Derick’s 37-minute (!!!) YouTube infomercial and, boy, is it a doozy.
And unfortunately, the highlights include an awkward convo involving the couple’s kids.:
Thigs started out innocently enough, when Jill announced that she and Derick are heading out on a "progressive date."
That might sound like they’ll be joined by AOC and Flo, but to hear Jill describe it, a progressive date is one in which you stop "four or five different places."
Well, we guess if you’re not worried about DUIs or carbon footprints, you can go ahead and spend your whole damn date night driving around.
Anyway, Jill and Der decided to bring their kids along, and because the date was sponsored by a sex app (for married people only!!!), it wasn’t long before the conversation shifted to how babies are made.
Jill explained that both of the boys began “growing inside mommy’s tummy” after one of mom and dad’s date nights.
She stressed that the blessed event occurred after “a bunch of dates,” but then Der had to go and mess up the wholesome vibe by telling his kids about the time he and Jill had four “dates” in one day.
Jill got embarrassed and instructed Derick to “just chill a little bit," but there’s pretty much no way the kids are forgetting that moment.
Especially since the sex talk didn’t end there.
Jill informed viewers that she and Derick “have a great sex life,” which led him to defend his previous statement by shouting, "At least I used the word ‘date’ instead of the S-word.”
But seriously, Der, chill out.
Then the Dillards listened to sexpert chat on their Intimately app while the kids sat in the backseat and fantasized about their future therapy appointments.
This has been your daily episode of The Duggars: WTF Is Wrong With Them?!