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Here in America, it’s been a pretty banner year for hate, corruption, and all types of vile human beings.

But we certainly don’t hold a monopoly on douchebag behavior – after all, the Brits have Piers Morgan.

Piers, M
Photo via Getty Images

Piers, as you know, is a toad-like creature who’s spent the past four years engaged in two equally vile activities:

Kissing Trump’s ass and bullying Meghan Markle.

Piers was hurling "go back to America!" sentiments at Meghan from her earliest days in the UK, and he whines endlessly about the fact that she finally got fed up with abuse from people like him and returned to her native country.

Piers and Meghan

The real problem, of course, is that Meghan refused to sleep with Piers back when she was single, and he’s still butt-hurt over it all these years later.

Anyway, Piers has a new book to promote, which means he’s currently flapping his jowls in one of his typically obnoxious press tours.

And, as usual, Meghan is at the forefront of his mind.

Meghan Markle Speaks Out

“This is all about Meghan Markle becoming a bigger mega-star," Morgan told UK tabloid The Express when asked about Meghan’s marriage to Prince Harry.

“That has always been her plan, I am sure of it," he added, sounding every bit like the petty bully that he is.

Piers had a drink with Meghan during one of her first visits to the UK like a decade ago.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry on a Bench

Ever since, he’s been laboring under the delusional belief that he knows her like few others and possesses some rare insight into her character.

“When I was still friends with her she was pretty open about her ambition," Morgan continued.

“The way she treats friends and family is pretty indicative of a ruthless social climber who will stop at nothing to get where she wants to get to and I’m sure she thinks the sky is her limit."

Piers Morgan, Up Close
Photo via Getty

Yes, Piers is still clinging to that old BS about Meghan being a ruthless social climber.

“She’s landed her Prince and she’s wrestled him away from his family," he continued, apparently not realizing how insane he sounds.

"I can certainly say that after personal experience when she wanted my advice on handling the media and stuff she can turn on the charm when it suits her but the moment you are of no use to her you’re gone."

Meghan Speaks

From there, Piers takes a hard right into Crazy Town, comparing Meghan and Harry to Brexit and the coronavirus.

“I think along with Donald Trump, Brexit and coronavirus, the Sussexes have made themselves one of the biggest news stories in the last three years and they don’t want to be left alone," he said.

“So I don’t really understand the criticism; I’m a columnist, I’m on TV every morning, I’m on Twitter all the time, obviously they are the fourth biggest story of the past three years so obviously I’m going to be commenting about it.”

Meghan Markle In 2020
Photo via Instagram

Yes, "they don’t want to be left alone" might sound like stalker talk to us sane people, but you have to understand that Piers’ brain is entirely occupied by Meghan Markle and Donald Trump as they arm wrestle for his rapt attention.

Piers wrapped things up with his usual claim that he’s not obsessed with Meghan, he just enjoys a deep, intimate bond with her that no one else can understand.

“Because of my own knowledge about Meghan Markle and previous, what I assumed was, friendship has given me a bit of an insight into what she is like," he told The Express.

Piers Morgan Image
Photo via Brian To/

“I don’t have any obsession with he," he added.

“I don’t think my criticisms of her are anything other than genuinely valid criticisms of a couple who just want to have their royal cake and eat it.”

Well, if there’s anyone who understands the desire to order two deserts, it’s Piers.