Will the saga of Zack Carpinello groping Angelina Pivarnick ever come to an end?
In case you're a bit confused as to why in the hell the Jersey Shore gang is still talking about that wild night in Vegas almost a year later, here's a short timeline of events:
The Grope Heard Round the World took place in the summer of 2019, just a few months after Jenni Farley started dating Carpinello.
In fact, the trip to Vegas was his first introduction to the rest of the castmates.
Not a great first impression.
Anyway, it wasn't until October of last year that the episode featuring Zack's handsy activity finally aired.
Up until that point, Farley had believed Vinny's heavily sugarcoated account of the ordeal.
Jenni broke up with Zack and the aftermath episodes are just airing now, hence why this storyline is still at the center of the guidos' universe.
Of course, that was just a really long way of saying not a whole lot is happening on Jersey Shore these days, so producers have found a way to drag this nothingburger scandal out for ten months.
Thursday night's episode teased a showdown between Vinny and Jenni, who was apparently pissed to learn that he was not entirely forthcoming in his account of The Grope.
The episode ended with JWoww approaching the hotel room to confront Vinny, because MTV is apparently conducting an experiment to see how long people will continue watching this show, despite the fact that events of dramatic consequence occur about once every tenth episode.
"I thought the whole time I was being her friend," Guadagnino explained to the other castmates.
"I don't know why she's mad at me and wants to apparently rip my head off. All the focus is on me, I'm not used to being in the drama, I don't want to be in the drama, but here I am."
"When I saw the episode of you telling her how it went down, I felt like you were tip toeing around it because you didn't want to upset her," Angelina shot back.
"One second I didn't say enough to her, one second I said too much," Vinny argued.
"Does she want me to talk about him or not? Does she want me to talk more shit about 24 like he did her dirty or does she not want me to poke fun at him?"
If Vinny was really trying to spare his friend's feelings and save her relationship, then his actions are understandable, and Jenni should probably cut him some slack.
However, his case is hurt by the fact that he delighted in sharing the whole tawdry tale with the other castmates behind her back.
"All he has to do is say I was wrong, I'm sorry," said Nicole, "That's all she wants to hear."
Well, if that's really all it will take, then regardless of whether or not he still believes he's in the right, it's time for Vinny to swallow his pride and apologize.
Of course, this is Jenni we're talking about, so there's a non-zero chance that his apology could be met with a backhand to the face.